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British Liver Trust
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Man flu

You ladies are so lucky that you don’t ever suffer this horrendous thing. I really don’t know how you would cope with it. I’ve not had man flu for over 10 zillion years now and I forgot how bad it is. Every cough and sneeze, I can feel my intestines ripping in my hernia. Painful!!

I have decided to make a national emergency out of this.

Sniffle

Brett. Formally known as Bob.

😂 🤕 😂

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72 Replies
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Dear Brett

Please please take care of yourself as real flue is an awful thing to have! I do hope you have someone on hand to feed and water you !

If possible please keep me updated.

Concerned friend

Slaines

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Thanks mate. My last will is on top of the fridge if I don’t make it!!

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Hey Bob - Staines oh Slaines I thought Staines too - first time I saw it it! Btw is that a generic mate or a gender specific one. If the latter I think you’ll find you have suspected the wrong gender 😁😁😁

Bob

Brett

Miles

Call me anything but Giles

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PS Bob all sympathy to you ☹️

Giles

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You forgot about Bertha😂

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Oh dear....

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How funny, I keep my will on top of the fridge, as well! Might be time for us both to start thinking about a more secure venue, LOL! 😂

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Man was I having a dumb moment. I didnt click into the thinking you 2 were talking about a "Will" as in the legal document. My mind went to Will like will to live. I thought I was missing out on some sort of metaphor about will being found atop a fridge. Lmao 😅

Need more Coffee I think.

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Hi Phoenix. Everything that you can't find a place for goes on top of the fridge. So there is no room for that kind of will. lol.

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True say!

Hahaha Phoenix! Love it!

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Hey AD have you see Snoopy’s post below - the one that goes on for 6 pages?

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Snoopy? I am not sure Linus?

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You can call me Brown, Charlie Brown....

Piles, loads of Piles 😂

I thought your name was Staines. 😂 not Slaines. It reminded me of someone who works in the navy 😂 😂

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Hi Brett11

Cheers for note! I do not want to hear anymore about Wills on fridge! Please call 111 for advice and they will sort ambulance if your that ill???? Are you alone???

Slaines

Female 66

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You can always send HMS Hammersley, Brett is made of sterner stuff.

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Man flu is only something men can get 😂 we call 000 for an ambo in Australia. A&E will be packed tonight being a Saturday. I think they have a ward specifically for man flu sufferers.

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I think the ward you're thinking of may be the nursery? 😂

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😂

Trump is playing golf having declared a national emergency, you’ll be fine.

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I saw that. 😂 There is only one bloke in the world that I would (comment deleted by moderator 😂)

See how I get on with this choice quote:-

Someone on Quora asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?" Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England wrote this magnificent response.

A few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

'My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.

15 likes

You forgot the T word? Twat lol. Now the brain washed shall reply......

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Bob you obviously didn’t read to the bottom 😁. Do I blame you, Bob, nah....

Giles

What a twat I am 😂 I just saw it

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Blurry hell Snouty never knew you could be so articulate. Oh. No. Wait. It was you wasn’t it?

Where’s American Democrat when you need her?

Giles

Pinto,

You need to read the top part, Nate White came out with the eloquent message. I am far too obtuse.

Marcus. 😂

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Marcus you need to get my obtuse SOH 😁

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Giles - Who do you think originally supplied snoutie with that quote?!! 😂 I am indeed keeping up with my civic duties , lol!

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Haha AD he kept that quiet! Stealing your thunder methinks 😁👍. GJ AD and Snoutie you’ll both go far 😁

Giles

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That must feel better snoutie.Are we really not as nice as Americans though. Do you get those strange e-mails from quora aswell? Seem a real mix when I do read some of them. Great rant.

Coralsun

It is sublime Coralsun but the credit goes to American Democrat, who brought it to my attention.

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Oh she reaĺly did. Never mind me!

Coralsun

There are nice Americans, 👍

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Totally agree.👍🇺🇸

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I completely agree with everything you said. The man is vile, but he must have a tiny little sense of humour to paint himself orange and have the comedy comb over. Deb

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Strangely, Deb, he insists that the orange skin is due to a “healthy tan,“ and not a cream or a sunlamp. Ha! Then why are there pure white circles around his eyes, right where the protective eye goggles would be placed?? The White House has even issued formal press releases on this topic, trying to refute the “fake news“ that his skin color is not natural. And of course, we all believe these press releases, right, LOL? 😂

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You'd think with all his billions and an entourage that's probably so large that side by side could create his his flipping wall, would be able to sort out a pair of panda eyes. I mean it really doesn't do his credibility any favours wherever he keeps that. Maybe it's on top of the fridge and he just keeps forgetting to take it to work with him.

Coralsun

On top of the fridge - ha! Love it, Coralsun! 😂

That is BRILLIANT Snoutie! Spot on from every angle.

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Just heard that you’ve got man flu as I switched on the morning tv over here in England. Drink plenty of fluids my friend and take care of yourself xx

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Why are there not more replies of concern and worry? My god man how did you even find the strength to lift your phone let alone the mental agility to compose your cry for help?

Is there not a man flu ribbon or badge of some description we can wear in support?

Don’t try to be strong through this. If you feel the urge to sneeze or cough, if your TV goes into eco friendly standby mode and the remote has fallen on the floor do not, I repeat, do not hesitate, call the emergency services.

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Thank you for your as always good advice. This is honestly a national emergency. I tried to get my other half to come home from work as I was unable to reach the tv remote. I am strong brother. We will get thru this 😂

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Hang on in there Brett and ride it out. Try not to watch any comedy programmes if it hurts to laugh. Have your other half on standby for if you drop the remote.I hope that they will fetch and carry for you when they are home and look after your every comfort. If they fail in their duties then you just have to threaten to remove their name from the document on top of the fridge! lol Hope you feel much better soon. Alf

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Again with the fridge! Hilarious 😂

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Dude Man Flu, Seriously. Your wife gave birth to your children, that is real trauma. It's like

getting an action man pulled through your knob. (I Imagine), have a word with yourself.

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Well if Brett's " wife" did give birth I suppose it would literally have to be through the knob wouldnt it?

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Think of the stitches...…...OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

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I would love to see Grant give birth 😂 toooo funny

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Think yourself lucky, us women have to pee ourselves when we cough!!!

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😅

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Hi. We so absolutely do! How are you? I always seem to miss your posts til much later so thought I'd reply here. I hope your husband is doing well.

Coralsun

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Did you see pointless celebrity tonight? Carol Smiley was on and described herself as an entrepreneur...she makes leak proof knickers!!!! 😂😂😂😂

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I've had 3 children but I'm sure that man flu is a hundred times worse. Maybe even as bad as a paper cut. 😂

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Oh, Deb, nice one! (Not to detract from Brett’s suffering...)

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Indeed it is. Indeed it is. We do have to suffer greatly with man flu. Luckily I feel better now. I might tell Grant I’m better in a few days time 😂 I’m enjoying the foot rubs and the cold orange juice.

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The orange juice is in the fridge?

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No, it's on TOP of the fridge!

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If I nearly trip over my lawn mower once more when I try to get into my shed then that's going on top of the fridge too!! Grrrrrrrrrr!!

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Hmmm, do you think it's only we Aussies, Brits and Statesians who are obsessed with the tops of our fridges? I wonder what other cultures use ...

I think it's because most fridges are tall and whatever nationality we are we think that nobody can see all the random and often strange items stored up there. I found a well sprouted onion up there a few weeks ago! lol

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Possibly? I know my EX friend who lives in Berlin doesn’t use his freezer in winter. He leaves everything outside. Frozen solid for 8 months.

Hmmm, what's the point of this? Seems it would be a hassle, going in and outdoors for things? Just curious. 😂

By the way, I forgot to ask the most important question ... are you feeling any better??

Still getting thru it but much better thanks.

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Great to hear. Hope you continue to improve!

😂 I was just about to say that 😂

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I'm so glad you've survived this terrible illness Brett!! You are an inspiration to us all, how you so stoically coped the trials and tribulations of the dreaded man flu!! I just hope that the next time I have a sniffle I'm as brave as you!!

Stay strong dearest x x x

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Thank you for your kind and healing remarks my friend. It was touch and go at one stage. I was about to hit my big shiny red button on my desk to end the world. But recovery came in the nick of time.

Phew, that was lucky!! I hadn't realised how close we all came to Armageddon!! At least you're better now, maybe you could pack your red button away, put it somewhere secure!!

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