Was hoping to learn from peoples experience of quitting alcohol. Clearly I'm quite new to it! I quit in January, after being diagnosed with liver damage last year. Have been going to great lengths to avoid stress, as that's my trigger. But now realised I don't have the tools to cope with life, my tool has been alcohol. It's like I have a massive void in my life without it, which I know sounds crazy. I'm terrified of hitting the bottle again, as this could really end my life. Any advice on how you continue abstaining would be really appreciated.
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AnnaTT
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I sympathise. It must be very hard. Try talking to your doctor in detail about how you are struggling. They will hopefully give you details of councelling in your area be it group or 1 to 1 weekly sessions.
It's about breaking that habit and getting through the times of the day when you would normally have that glass of wine or cider etc. At those times of day you need a distraction perhaps going for a long walk especially when stressful times occur. Exercise is the best stress buster and costs nothing. Good luck. I hope you get the extra bit of help you need to have a happier, healthier lifestyle.
Hi Laura, thanks a lot for your reply. I see my GP regularly and am having counselling. It does help, though it really comes down to like you say breaking the habit. I don't struggle at home, it's whenI go anywhere that the temptation is there. Although people know I'm ill they still encourage me to drink. It's pretty shocking and depressing. Have become a bit of a hermit! Guess it's one day at a time x
Yep it is hard I've been stopped 5 years,you have to keep away from temptation,lost all my friends because I don't socialise in pubs any more, kinda makes you feel lonely at times but realisically don't have anything in common any more with them,one thing I have found being sober is better fun,good luck.
Hi Yes it's been a very lonely time. Sometimes made me want to drink again, merely for that reason. So thankful that I didn't. Guess I've seen alcohol for what it truly is as well as the people who still encourage me to drink. Yes being sober is great! Still feels weird saying that! Thanks and good luck too.
Hi AnnaTT, well done for quiting it's not easy. I was diagnosed with liver disease in December and stopped drinking instantly, like you I feel a void in my life without alcohol but fortunately i don't feel the urge or craving to drink, quite the opposite I hate drink and I'm loving being free of it. But there is still this big space to fill in where alcohol used to help block reality out. I guess it's as they say "one day at a time" is really the way to deal with it. And hopefully getting more heathier "habits" to have a positive effect on us. Good luck.x
Hi Mags72, really appreciate your reply. Great that you managed to stop straight away. I stupidly continued for several months. Couldn't find another way to deal with the stress. Yes I agree it's amazing in most respects to be free of it. I'm starting to feel much healthier. I'd be devastated to wake up with a hangover now, that's what seems to motivate me. Good luck to you too x
It’s hard to start with and people who encourage you drink are best avoided. My real friends don’t get me drink just lime soda as a treat. I don’t object to people drinking around me now after 20 months being dry.
The thought of the cheap wine I used to drink turns my stomach.
On a sunny day ice cold cider appeals but I know I can’t have even one.
I did a lifetime of drinking and where did that get me?
Stress was my driver too so I try to avoid at all cost. Go for a walk if your able or other moderate exercise.
Thanks Andy Yes it's awful that people encourage me to drink. Thankfully not my real friends. Good for you on doing 20 months, that's fantastic. A lifetime of drinking got me nowhere, just woken up to that fact Upwards from here!
The people that offer you drink don't understand the severity of liver damage or some are just plain ignorant n don't care. My advice would be if you're not feeling strong enough to resist the temptation then avoid them, infact I would avoid them completely if possible. X
Think there's such strong pressure to join in and not be a spoil-sport. They all know how ill I've been. Perhaps it makes them think about their problem with alcohol and they don't want to go there. I walk out if it gets too much. My real friends are great and supportive x
Alcoholics Anonymous, a 12 step recovery program, helped me tremendously b/c they gave me a place to go instead of going to the bar. I went to meetings constantly b/c I wanted to be surrounded by people who were/are just like me, an alcoholic just trying to stay sober. We all have one thing in common and we help each other stay sober, one day at a time. And I've made so many new friends who are like family to me so I enjoy going to meetings and hanging out with them. My old friends are long gone; they left me as soon as I put the the plug in the jug! You can search for A/A meetings in your area online. It's worth a shot. Great luck to you! And I'm in your corner now!!
Thanks Punky, you made me laugh! Great that you found AA to be of help, I've heard that a lot. Will certainly consider if I can't continue the battle. Yes most of my friends disappeared too. Down to around...2! Guess they weren't real friends. Good to have you in my corner
Hi there. I have tapered down from 20 units a day to 2 a day. I feel much better doing it slowly (did it too quickly at first - dropped straight to 10, then tried again by 2 units each time). I still have strong urges to down a bottle of wine at weekends but would rather not. Told my doc about it and was referred for counselling etc but it is a long drive away so have not been. I do, however, have an AA meeting place 5 mins walk from me but it is only held once a week - I am not sure this is enough, what do you think?
You can try to find a meeting that meets every day and catch a ride with someone. Soon enough you will start to meet folks in the meeting who will give you rides to and from meetings with no strings attached. That is exactly how I did it. I met a couple of people in the meeting who lived close to me, and they had no problem picking me up to take me to meetings with them as well as driving me back home. Those people are still good friends of mine today. Perhaps you might give that a shot. It sure helped me a lot when I was not driving.
Hi Anna and well done. The commitment to abstain regardless wether it’s for your health or your sanity is a huge one. I took that step nearly 16 years ago and fully understand how lonely it can feel like. For me the solution was to meet people going through a similar situation and learn how they managed to go about their lives. I found that in AA and it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I learnt from these people how to live a daily life without alcohol. I was a big social drinker and had a huge circle of “friends”. Since I stopped drinking only 1 of them ever checked to see if I was ok, the landlord of the pub never sent me a Christmas card, and I with the gift of hindsight really think it is with me not drinking it made them look at themselves and that made them uncomfortable. There is a saying in AA that when Daniel escaped from the Lions den, he didn’t go back for his hat. In other words avoid “wet” places, not forever because that’s impossible, but until you know enough to handle the dangers and recognise the signs. Even today after 16 years, when I go out to a function I always leave myself an escape route should things get too much for me. If i’m going to dinner and there is a driveway filled with cars, I will park outside on the road, so if I have to leave I can do easily. My story has been told many times on this forum, suffice to say I should not be here. I received a copy of a letter from my consultant yesterday that defies belief. 18 months ago I was given 12-24 hours to live, now he reports I have made a “remarkable recovery”. I believe my years of abstinence have played a huge part in this, as I have given my liver an opportunity to work, where I was told it should be in a bucket.
Keep up the great work, and feel free to ask any questions you may have.
Wow you have done amazingly well. Did you change your diet too? I'm now ridiculously healthy though it doesn't seem to have much effect. Perhaps it's just a matter of time. Yes I generally avoid places with alcohol too. Get very little enjoyment from them now, just feels like a room with drug pushers! I see alcohol as a drug. Amazing to read your story, thanks so much for sharing, certainly given me inspiration.
I have changed my diet but still allow myself to cheat occasionally. I write a blog about my cancer journey it can be found at 1liver1life.wordpress.com it is sometimes raw, funny and serious occasionally all at the same time. Have a look you may just enjoy if your sense of humour is warped enough.
Definitely makes people look at their own drinking habits, I find it quite amusing to watch people sometimes and how they try to avoid mentioning my liver disease.x
Are there groups in your area? Sometimes having a group to talk to, find a person who will sponsor you and watch for the signs you are feeling now. We have AA in the US. I hope you do too.
Hi, yes there is AA. It didn't work for me, though I'd consider returning if I start to really struggle. I have a counsellor and a psychologist - have their work cut out!
Same here, always been a do my own thing kinda gal. Work for myself too. Takes a lot of strength to do it alone, so good for you. I shudder at the thought of the 'bad old days' so hopefully they're over for me. Best of luck to you too
Please don’t give in it gets easier. I have to go to AA as my tx trick cyclist insists I do something. People are friendly but the same old stories bore me and make me think about drink when I really dont want to. I’m very confident I won’t fall into the alcohol trap again. It’s ruined an other wise great life.
If you need advice or reassurance just message me. We are all willing to help genuine tryers and a lot have been in your shoes.
I knew I was hurting myself but carried it on regardless. I watched my brother die from same thing and still carried on drinking.
You are definetly ready to fight this so keep it up. It will be worth it
Thanks for helping me Andy. Sorry to hear about your brother Yes AA made me think about drink, when I really don't think of it much. It's mad that we continue even though it's hurting us. I get very distraught thinking how much I've hurt my body. Works so hard to look after me. But have to concentrate on the future now and try to have a life! x
Your doing so well it's been months since January.good for you being so strong must of been horrendous at the time but look what MONTH your in now this shows your strength too.given awful news and you manage to pull yourself up out of it in the midst of adversity. That's true power .onwards an upwards now must be your new positive mental attitude.ill be here anytime you need to talk. I just saw your post and thought There is someone who can see to believe to achieve their dreams .i dont know you but that takes pure strength of character. Have a lovely day youve done the worst bit now time to create your new life.Best wishes me xx
Aww thanks Mandy, that brought tears to my eyes! You're really kind So relieved to have made it through the worst part, it has been a struggle. My family and most friends abandoned me. Shocking how people can react when you're having a bad time. But I'm hoping it's made me stronger. Yes time for a fresh start now, move on with my life. Have a lovely day too xx
It's all true hun, WE realise whose there for us when we hit rock bottom and find new people sometimes better than friends n family on the way up. At least we know now the most important thing is our own bodies of health and taking care of it.people come an go but if we build our own life it's amazing how we can turn it all around an have a better life.We have had an advantage if seeing how real our friends an families are.seeing our own funeral b4 it happens.This is my time for picking whose at it now and my life apart from my liver is better than when I was well because all that negativity has gone .I only have nice friends n family there now. I have a nice time by myself too now it's more peaceful but a lot calmer .Have a lovely day .I have found all sorts of different things to do since being ill.quite weird how life can turn out better once weve come out the other side of adversity.i suffer terrible DEPRESSION and anger but I try hard to forget it ASWELL and concentrate on the future.i wish I could wave a magic wand and make all our problems go away.At least we're here to enjoy life now.Some are already gone and would give anything to worry about stuff .we have a second chance almost. Have a great day xxx
I just wanted to say that you’ve done really well so far and to keep on going with what you are doing. I find it shocking that friends try and get you to have a drink even though they know you are ill ( not real friends) and it’s great that you show strength of character not to give in. Continue to take care
Thanks Yes it's awful isn't it, shameful. They make out to really care about me, then encourage me to drink. Feels horrible It's certainly not easy quitting but I remind myself constantly that it's the best thing to do.
u need to keep busy find things u like doing try to avoid friends who still drink there is after care with spectrum cgl i worked with them it help me keep dry ive been 7 years now be strong you can do it ,
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Yes it's been a very lonely time. Sometimes made me want to drink again, merely for that reason. So thankful that I didn't. Guess I've seen alcohol for what it truly is as well as the people who still encourage me to drink. Yes being sober is great! Still feels weird saying that! Thanks and good luck too. 
Upwards from here!
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