Has cirrhosis aspires varies and now he for the third time in a year. Doc came today and advised him to go to hospital but he refused. He's 37. Iam really struggling as he's doing very strange things and I have to sleep with one eye open. He has scratched his legs so they bleed so much. Just spent four weeks in detox but now his out his health has rapidly gone downhill
As cites and varies x
It's unfortunate but there really isn't a lot you can do to stop a loved one from drinking.
You need to start developing a plan for yourself and your own future. Sometimes talking about this with your partner can make him realize the seriousness of his situation.
Is his will in order? Does he care what happens to you if his health nose-dives into terminal illness?
Being a caregiver to someone in his situation is a big job, but you'll get karma points for helping him through whatever is to come.
Godspeed to you both.
Hi. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult it is. He really does need to admit his problem and stop drinking either with his own willpower or with councelling. But if he's not prepared to do that then you need to look after yourself because unless he turns his life around its going to be very tough for you. I know because I've been in your situation and my husband died 8 years ago at just 54.
Make sure your money is safe and secure..... he may get so desperate he will help himself to cash to feed his habit.
See your doctor explain your situation and see what they can suggest.
Contact NACOA this charity has recently been brought to my attention. They can offer advice and support to spouses and children living with alcoholics. 08003583456 or email them at support@Nacoa.org.uk
Good luck. X
Really sorry that you have found yourself in such sad circumstances.
What may occur, which happened to me, is that a total collapse may result in there being no choice about going to hospital.
This could possibly be a turning point where the reality of a painful and difficult end becomes crystal clear.
From what you describe, this situation is becoming highly likely. Nobody would wish this upon him, but, in a strange way it would have benefits.
Sadly, this was the time that I took my condition seriously as I only just survived my first trip to hospital. After this I was really too ill to drink and at the time of my transplant had been alcohol free for one complete year. From diagnosis to transplant was just 14 moths. So it can be done.
I'm not the only one in this forum who has taken the same route as your partner.
There is definitely hope. He needs to know that he can survive, as some don't see the point in stopping as they believe they are going to die anyway, this is not how it needs to be.
One plus, he has age on his side, I was 62 when I had my transplant.
I hope you both find a solution and get the help and support you BOTH need. As my wife would tell you, its a team effort that can sometimes feel a bit like you are the only one doing any of the effort.
Jim
Hi,
Welcome to the forum- we are sorry to read how ill your partner is...
You have already had some great replies to your post.
We would add that you may want to contact Al-Anon. Al-Anon Family Groups provide support to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else’s drinking. Their website is al-anonuk.org.uk/
We hope you find the forum a supportive place to visit,
Best wishes
Trust1
I can relate to and totally agree with Jim. I had a transplant 13 months after a diagnosis, I nearly died in hospital at that time. I never drank after that.
It is not too late to stop drinking. If a transplant is necessary it can happen if he is deemed a suitable candidate. The ball is in his court.
Best wishes and good luck
Paul
Hi, hope you come to terms with the situation, but if he will not take the advice and act for both his and your future happiness then you need to think about yourself.
If he is determined to follow a self destructive path then it is only something he can address. It is not your fault. Has he been referred to counsellors?
Best wishes Tim
Hi there,
Going through exactly the same situation at the moment with my dad. It’s so hard he was in hospital recently nearly died was feeling so much better and now completely nose dived. Won’t eat , won’t take his medication drinking more than ever. I tried to get doctor out to section him wouldn’t let him in. So now I have to wait until he collapses or kills himself. I totally feel your pain. I’m constantly on edge waiting for a phone call. All you can do is try to find support for you. You really can’t help them if they won’t help themselves. Try to be kind to yourself. Life sucks sometimes
JoX
Hi I feel so sorry with what you are going through but if your partner won’t sort himself out and admit he has a serious problem then I think you need to start thinking of yourself it’s just him going through this if he can’t help himself and admit he has a problem then there is not a lot you can do I hope everything works out well for you
Donna x
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