First day.

I am not touched alcohol since the 6th June 2017.That's good 4 me as since I was 16yrs 24hrs did not go by without me drinking.I'm now 49yrs and 24 of those av been spent in jail alcohol being the cause of poor decisions.i'm in a safe place at the moment which is a kind of rehab and I know that one day I will av to move on to yet another address I hope I'm strong to keep away from the booze wen dat time comes along most of all I really do hope I'm feeling better instead of no appetite,tired,weak and no sex drive.i want to feel better again.Does anyone know anything that may help me to feel better? Every little will help,thanks.

57 Replies

  • Hi Menace,

    It sounds like you've certainly been through a lot. Are you getting support to work through the causes behind your use of alcohol?

    Are you in the US? I ask as you say jail not prison..

    Im really glad you're in a safe place, hold onto that. I'm 49 too, female and have intermittently drunk alcohol when overwhelmed and I know my history led to the alcohol use, it got less over the years but it was like a punishment of the worst kind at other times and eventually in January my body said nope! Can't cope with this. I had alcohol related Hepatitis and have been lucky I hope and not drunk since then but I do feel it's the support afterwards that makes the difference.

    Are you under a doctor/consultant now? Have you had tests to see if there's any damage? You've removed alcohol which is a fantastic achievement after so long so well done on that.. you are worth it!

    We all make choices and some have negative consequences, that doesn't make you a 'bad person' .

    Take good care and know you aren't alone here.

    Michelle x

  • The reason I used the title "first day" was it was the day that I was told I had cirrhosis. I probably will never touch alcohol ever again now I know that. I go for a ultra sound on Monday to see if my other organs are OK. I'm from Sheffield England I use many different ways of pronunciation because I av lived with people for many years from all over the world in one institution or another. I m hoping that I will be told everything will be OK just as long as I stay sober cause the light about life as just started to flicker and I hope I am around long enough to see it get brighter. Have a good night.🤗

  • I hope so too Menace and I'm sorry about your diagnosis. I remember going to Sheffield as a child as my nan had friends there, there was a shopping centre they called the hole in the floor or something like that, all a bit sketchy now! Your light is already shining through, I hope your ultrasound is ok, keep us posted eh..

    I care.

    Michelle xx

  • Hi Menice, by the sounds of things your doing great, you have made a plan after evaluating your past and that's a big step forward. Do you have a support worker?

  • Thanks for replying.i have cirrhosis I was told a few days ago.i av a ultra sound on Monday to see if my other organs are OK.its made me feel more determined not to touch booze ever again I'm hoping that things will be normal if I remain abstinent if not I don't know what I'm gonna do?nim from Sheffield England.🤔

  • I'm from Sheffield England

  • Just to say good luck tomorrow Menace

    Michelle xx

  • Thank you.

  • Try sheffieldalcoholsupportserv...

    You've already taken the first steps, keep going, you don't want the Cirrhosis to get any worse.

  • I didn't think it could get any worse.

  • One step at a time Menace, try not to panic, consultants will take good care of you and Cirrhosis, if that is the diagnosis, as you will see from others, is not necessarily a death sentence.

    You've removed the cause, alcohol, remember that, as it's vital. No matter what happens from now you've done the very best thing of all yourself!

    You will get lots of support here.

    Take good care,

    Michelle xx

  • So can I survive just as normal as long as I look after my liver?

  • I can't answer that Menace, I wish I could, only a consultant can tell you that, you've removed the cause and you are still here, not in hospital but here, that means a lot. I haven't drunk since January, I refuse to use it as a crutch no matter what life throws at me, life is so precious, hold onto that always. We are both 49, we are both still here. That means something.

    Who told you you have Cirrhosis and how was it diagnosed?

    Many many here will help,

    Michelle x

    There was a book I once read, I think it was called a million little pieces and it was excellent.

    Grab all the help you can get, from all sources and start again, I have every faith that you can.

  • I thought that would be the answer that I got.It was the Dr. who specialises in this at the hallamshire hospital I av had blood test and I had a fibroscan last week the specialist who told me is called Ray Poll pronounced Paul.🤗

  • Ah ok so you had a fibroscan, did they go through what the scan results meant for you? I'm glad you are getting the right support for your liver as it's really important. It's worth writing down what they say or take someone with you if possible as it's easy to forget, especially if worried. They may not tell you anything tomorrow it really depends on the person doing the scan, that been my experience anyway.

    I take it you have a follow up after the ultrasound.

    Very best wishes,

    Michelle xx

  • Hello. I had the ultrasound this morning and o asked for him to contact me today if he spots anything unusual. I am hoping that he does not get in touch. I then went to water stones and bought a million little pieces. I will wait until I get the feel good factor before starting it. Also I av been told that concerning the cirrhosis I am a grade A and my platelets are 185.🙂. Hope to here from you soon.

  • Hiya Menace,

    I hope you enjoy the book It was a mere mention not quite sure why I did mention it but a good read.. I have no idea about grades in terms of cirrhosis, nor what the platelet figure means. Do you have a follow up appt?

    How are you feeling?

    Take good care,

    Michelle x

  • Platelets are and how good your blood clots (external & internal). There was a man who lived here, about a month ago and he had a fall and he bled inside and he died. If the platelets go to 150 and below then that can be bad. Cirrhosis goes : A,B,C and C being bad.

  • I am A.

  • Ah ok, gosh that's awful about the man that died, must have shaken everyone up a lot.

    Are you getting good support generally Menace? I hope so.

    I'm stunned how much our bodies can take really.

    Best wishes,

    Michelle x

  • The support is always there but sometimes it doesn't work and you've to just ride it out because it sometimes feels that there is no way out I get the screaming skull affect😨.

  • But it's getting better.

  • Glad it's getting better and I totally relate to what you're saying. Always here if you want a good scream! I hate feeling stuck, I'm at my most vulnerable then as I try and 'fix' things. I don't deal with grey matter well lol 😤

  • Good morning.

  • Morning Menace how are you today?

  • I av had a phone call from hospital and the scan showed nothing negative which is a relief.😳

  • That's great news Menace I'm pleased for you, where do you go from here appreciating they mentioned Cirrhosis, did they say? You're doing all the right things :)

  • No,not yet anyway.🤔

  • Ok, hopefully they'll be in touch then shortly :)

  • He said people's platelets (clotting agents) go from 150 to400 and mine are 185.

  • That's good then I take it Menace ? I never comment on results as I'm

    No specialist..

  • That depends, what stage of cirrhosis do you have and what is your level of commitment to staying off the drink?

    Did you get any information from the ultrasound?

  • Outside the hospital now just about to go inside.

  • I have had the scan.he will let me know the results soon.he as told me though that my platelets are185.i am at stage A.

  • Does stage A mean stage 1?

    Here is some info on platelets

  • I'm sorry but I'm not sure.

  • Good morning

  • Another new day under your own steam, no longer reliant on alcohol ... well done!

  • Thank you

  • What is your motivation to stop drinking? Focus on that. For me my days start with looking at my hospital wrist tags to remind me of the new reality. No drink, good diet, low sodium, low fat, exercise but I am doing it as I am 52 married to a great woman and have 2 fantastic kids. So teetotal is a no brainer, too much to do. Find positives and focus on them. reflect on each improvement.


  • Good morning.

  • Hiya Menace,

    How are you today?


  • I woke up 15 minutes ago been asleep since 12oclock.some days I feel really tired as some nites I am awake all night.

  • Oh I'm sorry to hear that I can't bare it if I don't get a nights sleep but meds I take send me to rested well so that's good eh :)

  • How r u today? I av the dentist at 10.50 and not looking forward to it.😬

  • Hiya Menace I'm ok ta, how are you? Good luck with the dentist, I seem to have lost my fear of them I have no idea why! You'll be fine xx

  • I got my two new front teeth I've now got to try and keep them in and get use to them 😬.

  • Excellent! So that's Christmas sorted then lol!!

  • It's all I ever wanted😬.

  • Hahaha :)

  • Good morning😑.

  • Morning Menace you're up bright and breezy, I've had my weekly lay in! How's you and those new gnashers (pardon the pun)?

  • I tend to wake up in the early hrs and at weekends I don't seem to be in any rush to go back to sleep.😴.

  • Good old sleep, nothing worse than lack of it! How's Sheffield today?

  • Closed.🤓.

  • Lol!

  • Hello,how are you? It's been ages since I've wrote something because I've been very depressed and it's been difficult. I hope you are OK? I've started my 12wks course of meds and I'm taking something calledMaviret I hope they work. Take care and have a nice evening from Menace😴😴😴😴

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