Anxiety!

Hi guys

This place is so full of positive people and great advice. Most of you seem amazingly strong and able to cope all the time.

Im really struggling with having cirrhosis in my mind, more than I am physically at the moment.

Im worried about the future, my family, my work, the prospect of ligation, hospital stays.... the list goes on and on.

Im quite a headstrong guy normally but at the moment it is really getting on top of me.

Do you all feel the same at times? Whats the best way to cope?

Any comments greatly appreciated.

And Happy Christmas to all

Matt

18 Replies

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  • Hi Alb

    I meant mentally. Haha

    Yes, diagnosed about 6 months ago. Managed to stop drinking about 3 months ago. (although I didnt think I drank enough to cause this business!)

    Finding it hard to think about all the things to come, and I know my partner is too.

    Thanks for your reply

    Matt

  • how was the cirrhosis actually diagnosed matt?

  • Fibroscan Briccolone. My NHS US scan showing 'course and fatty appearance' was enough for my private insurance to pay for a fibroscan. I don't think they will provide anymore treatment though as it's considered chronic and not covered by policy.

    I'm back to NHS GP on Jan 5th for more bloods and Hopefully referral to Hept or Gastro I guess.

    Have a good day mate

  • Hmm, and I guess the fibroscan was high...? Well the good news is that high fibroscan scores can be lowered with abstinence and you're already on that path.

    Enjoy the festive period anyway Matt

    cheers

  • Hi

    I have had cirrhosis for nearly 5 years lived a normal as you can, on the transplant list now

    Don't Drink

    Eat Well

    Trust the consultant

    Above all take one day at a time, worrying does not help!

    I have met some amazing people and a had a fresh look at life all positive

    Being depressed happens to use all, I cry more than I used to, but appreciate other peoples kindness much more

    So I look for the positives and enjoy life all I can, things are never as bad as the seem

    Have a happy Christmas

    David

  • Thank you for your reply David

    Im trying to remain as positive as possible, the festive time of year seems to have made things worse, thinking about family and such.

    Im 100% sure that my diagnosis has (in a way) made me a better person.

    I appreciate time with friends and loved ones a lot more.

    Im more sympathetic to all that have a personal struggle in one way or another.

    And really appreciate a good bit of fun and a belly laugh.

    And ill hold onto your quote that "things are never as bad as they seem"

    I hope you get the gift you are waiting for.

    Stay in touch

    Matt

  • Hi Matt, none of us have an easy ride here and we are all like yourself just chugging along. I'm a transplanted patient and although I was not unwell long term like yourself, I had a lot of anxiety and I still go through it. Sometimes anxiety symptoms can be difficult to live with and the fear can be debilitating. You need to speak to your consultant or GP who can refer you for counselling or speaking to someone regarding your problems. It does help.

    When I get the anxiety symptoms now I try not to panic. I somehow try to control my emotions and start thinking about something else that makes me happy or I just lay down and close my eyes for a bit.

    Hope you so get some professional help.

    Take care

  • Hi Jahida, long time.

    Thank you for your time to reply, I know that youve been dragged through the coals a lot more than me.

    I think I do need to speak to someone about it because my thought train almost takes me to panic. I think Ive passed anxiety and gone on even further.... and Im not normally like that.

    Maybe an chemical inbalance somewhere? Or a lot of it I know is the feeling of guilt for getting myself here in the first place.

    Im going to watch a feel good movie this evening and not think about my blasted liver for one minute!

    Take care yourself and keep in touch x

  • easy to say but no point worrying what happened in the past that got you here-we're all on that trip be it health/relationships -whatever. Not much point worrying about what may happen either...it's in the lap of the gods. What isn't in the lap of the gods is that you don't drink-you keep fit and eat healthily and make a virtue of it and by doing that I think the anxiety will lessen. Liver issues tend to skew thought balances a bit as well due to vitamin deficiencies-I remember getting panic attacks often when I was drinking heavily-it doesn't happen now.

    best

  • Hi Matt , I have had cirrohsis 8 years now . I did not even think I would live this long after being told I had 6 months to live if I carried on drinking . So I stopped and it was lucky I was in hospital for 6 weeks helping me with withdrawal also having three drains done due to acites .. I worried and worried about how long I had left to live after I was discharged . I have become more user to living with the disease now , so far all is good . I do not drink , i eat Healthy and I stopped Smoking . My only downfall Is my addiction to chocolate lol . My last LFT was done 3 weeks ago and it is working well . Try not to worry about what might or might not happen , life is Short enough as it is . I do still get my down times and my worries , I would not be Human if I never .. Chin up ! It's not as bad as you think .. Best wishes and a merry Christmas to you and all 🎄

  • Thanks Millie, it reassures me greatly that there's folks on here like yourself that have lived so long with the disease.

    I think I was having a bad day yesterday, feel much more positive today and looking forward to the Christmas break.

    Thanks for your reply no keep in touch x

  • Matt, it has come as an awful shock to you and does to us all. It turns your life on its head. It takes a while to get to the point where you get to acceptance . Initially you have to go through a greiving process for what you thought your life was, with all the accompanying emotions. Denial , Sadness anger , loneliness , depression. You are doing all the right things by reaching out. Its important to learn what you can from reputable sources( please don't google all the time you will scare yourself to death) , with knowledge comes power. The power to aid yourself as much as you can . You should come to a point when everything settles more, where you gain acceptance. You are still you , just with a dodgy bit. As others have said , live a healthy lifestyle , exercise, positive thinking, they are all the greatest assets you can have. I am celebrating 3 years, and now my consultants say I should live to a normal lifespan and that is without a transplant . Congratulations on your sobriety and to your new life.

  • That is so inspiring Bermuda . I too have had Cirrosis now 8 nearly 9 years now . I did have a few blips along the way , especially losing my dad who I miss so very much after 4 years . He would have been mad at me if he knew what I did . I have verb convinced every Xmss that it is my last , I have badgered my doctor in the last two months as I am not under any hospital due to discharge 2 yrs ago , so I wanted another scan done . I had further LFT tests done around 3 weeks ago , all was working fine ! Apart from vitamin D deficiency . He did not really seem too bothered at all about my liver tests .i do have an appointment though with a hepetologist in Feb at the liver unit . I think he only refereed me there to put my mind at ease lol . Dr sid the main thing was to keep off the demon drink so I will continue to do so . Well done ok your journey so far ..,

  • Miilie great to hear you are doing so well. My bloods have been fine for the last year , no signs of varices at all either , no enlarged spleen , so fingers crossed their right with this estimate . At first they have me two years, I was jaundiced then and had severe ascites. Keep fighting the good fight fellow warrior queen .

  • Thank you Bermuda . I have tried my best to look after myself , and it seems to be working so far 🙏🏻. I was given 6 months to live 8 years ago and i still can't believe I am still here . That's great news ! All looking very positive for you . I am the same as you too , no varices or anything wrong with the spleen either . Yes ascites ! I had that too . Was drained three times in 6 weeks whilst I was in hospital . Oh I intend to ! I will not let it beat me 👊. You too Hun ! Keep up the good work. Onesrds and upwards

  • Hi Matt, I have problems with my liver through an autoimmune disease, so I can't prevent further damage except by taking medication (which will keep it in check). However, you can stop further and even reverse some of the damage by stopping drinking (and presumably some meds- I can't comment on this I'm afraid). My liver problems got much worse this year and it was all I could think about. BUT, I made a huge effort to meet up with friends and family I hadn't seen for ages and that has been a great experience. My problems started to get worse last year and my anxiety levels were affecting simple things like getting on the tube in rush hour (when we visited) and I had never had a problem before. I too consider myself very strong minded, so these reactions were a shock. I had no qualms about asking the GP for a referral for counselling and I got 6 weeks worth, which actually really helped me to stop focusing on dying! This was my particular fixation- not suggesting it is yours!!

    Focus on what you are still able to do and try not to focus on what "might" happen. As for ligation, I have had several banding sessions and they are over in a flash- I always have sedation, so even if you do have to have it, it is not as bad as you think!!

    Take comfort from the fact that you are still fully functioning, you can help yourself and yes there will be days when you feel miserable, but looking forward to events will drag you through these and most of us do have them I'm sure, but the further you get away from the initial shock of diagnosis, the better you will feel. I hope things go well for you and have a great Christmas. ;)

  • Thank you all so much for your positivity, it really does help. It gives me great comfort hearing from you guys.

    I'm having days where I hardly think about it, but others it just consumes my whole days thoughts.

    GP later this week so I might talk about counselling I think.

    Thank you again, and Happy New Year.

    Onwards and upwards!

  • A very happy new year!

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