Hello! My husband was diagnosed two years ago with chirrosis; he only usted to drink socially, he was hospitalized with hemorragical varices, i Took care of him and prepared al hes meals, we want to a nutricionist, he is with homeopathy, and everything was easy until 6 months ago, he is always mad, he really cant stand me, he has problems with our sons ( 22 and 21) i cant stand hes behavor, he never wants to have intimate relaciones and after 27 years of marriage he says tha he wants to go away from su since 10 years ago, i dont know what do do, i care for him, but he losó at me with a lot of anger, finally it old him to leave when he was ready, he says he was going to wait until he has enjuga money for himself, hes 51 years old and active at work but i notice that he walks show and he is sleepy sometimes, he complains of everything and he doesnt want to do any social life, i worried because he doesnt have parents and dont see hes family at all, we are all he has, he had an affair and he claims that if he went with that other women that will cure him......i want him to see the Dr so they can run some tests but he doesnt want to hear about it, he so skinny i asked him to eat but he says that finally he weights the same as when he was 24, i am really desperate, he has an ugly color of skin yellowish, i Join this group because i dont find anyone in my country, i live on México, thanks if someone can give me some advice!!!
What you are describing sounds a lot like Hepatic encephalitis. Given the yellowing of skin & eyes. You will need to have this confirmed by a doctor. This is a very serious complication of cirrhosis and needs to be monitored. There is medication that can help him.
It's important for you and your children to be safe too. Someone with more knowledge will be along soon to support you.
Oh poor thing it sounds as if sorry yo say his liver disease has got worse.most of those things you described are symptoms of cirrhosis. This would make him sleepy intolerant jaundiced(yellow)
Get him for a blood test if you possibly can.he probably has ascite(fluid in his abdomen) this would be heavy and look big and hard but he probably is very skinny every where else.
He is getting cross with you as he doesnt understand what is happening.if he passes out call an ambulance immeduately.good luck....get him to read thus site.cazer
: ( i am really worried, thank You a lot for your reply, i will try my best to take him to the Dr. Yes he is very skinny with a tummy......., i dont want to walk on him but he doesnt want me by his side........
Confusion can be a sign of sever chirosis, the anger and personality changes and depression could be because of this. You should try to persuade him to see a doctor, there are medicines he can take to reduce these symptoms.
The varaces can cause sexual disfunction or impotence so this could be part of the problem.
I think the best thing is to see the doctor with him, once he's on medication the reduce the encephalopathy you will be able to reason with him better and find a way forward hopefully.
I am sorry to be blunt but I think you may have to force the issue for your own and your children's as much as his health and safety.
What the other posters above say is true. The condition is worsening, it can happen very quickly and it will only get worse.
It sounds as though he may also be paranoid (another symptom) and delusional and if he believes that he is going to be harmed he may try to 'defend' himself, which to others will look like aggression and/or violence.
I understand Mexico has a public health system but you are going to need liver specialists and many ambulance crew don't understand Hepatic Encephalopathy, though ascites is more familiar. Use the internet and print off details of the symptoms to give to medics.
Next time he is bad call an ambulance. If necessary go somewhere safe with your children before you do so. If it's anything like my experience he won't want to go.
In the meantime, look after yourself. Talk to us, find somewhere safe you and your children can go, ideally that he won't think of or where friends or family will protect you. I know this might be embarrassing, but it also might save you or him from harm.
Explain to your sons what is happening and try to get them to read this page. If they try to protect you physically, or react themselves, he won't understand and things may end badly.
Is there anyone else he might listen to about going to a doctor? It sounds to me as though he is beyond the stage where homeopathy can help. Does he have a friend at work or perhaps even a local priest?
Lucy, THANK You for your reply, i didnt know this could be so bad, but now i understand whats happening much better, i am glad finally i found a group like this, Yes he has a cousin that might help, i ring him first thing tomorrow, THANK You again, : )
First, let me say how sorry I am about your situation and feeling alone.
I'm glad you found us!
I agree with the other posters who have responded to you.
As I'm sure the doctors told you, there are different types of cirrhosis not associated with drinking, although drinking makes that so much worse. Have they discussed transplants with you? If he has already had the varacies, then his illness had progressed.
The skinniness, and skin color..it all sounds like his illness is progressing.
I wanted to say, anger and serious depression can often go hand in hand with a chronic and life threatening illness. Not being able to accept being ill is normal.
I can tell you love your husband very much. But remember, your a person also, and you must do what is best for you. I wonder what your sons think? Just curious if they have any thoughts? They must miss their dad very much, even though he is still there.
I'm sure he must seem a bit like a stranger. Fluid in the body with too much ammonia in it can go to the brain and cause serious erratic thinking and personality chane.
I hope he's having those blood tests VERY soon. Ask them if this is normal?
It's sad, but as things worsen he will need you more and more. At some point work will most likely stop. Normally exhaustion and no longer being able to handle anything physical can occur. i myself have ascites. Before my transplant I got very skinny, but I had a belly that had to be drained every 10 days. This is what it sounds like your husband may have. The fluid must be controlled.
Gosh, you have so much going on! I sure hope we as a group can help you!
Kimberly, i am very pleased that finally somebody even though so far away can answer me with the true, sometimes i felt that i myself was becoming a mean person, my sons try to spend must of the time out of home, with the university and work; they complain with me about their father but since no Dr has explained to they what exactly is going on, they just simply try to avoid it, he did tests the first year but after that he only goes to the homeopathy Dr, he promise he will cure him ; i try to convince him to go to the specialist without leasing hes homeopathy remedies but he just nods and walked away, in my country chirrosis is a tabu, You cant talk about it a lot because is related with drinking and theres not much understanding, You cant imagine how helpful is to share this with people that understand me, i will keep trying, thank You so much!!!!!!
Hola Clariur! I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. Don't have any advice really but just wanted to send solidarity. It does sound as if your husband needs more medical intervention, though. He sounds like he needs medication for toxins building up in the brain (HE) which can cause personality change. He's probably really scared. The mood swings are a part of it - try not to take them too personally (hard I know). Get him to see a doctor as soon as you can. Good luck and stay strong. Abrazos xxx
I myself was admitted to hospital with ascites, no bleeds and was diagnosed with cirrohis. I had been lost in the system for just under 3 yrs, no follow ups etc. I have recently been told I was misdiagnosed!! These last three yrs I have not been able to forgive myself for what I had done to my liver. I suffered depression, avoided all my friends and ended the most perfect relationship. Why????? Because I didn't want anyone to see me deteriorate, I didn't want to have to explain to them how I had killed myself through drink. Your husband doesnt hate you, he hates himself for having to put you all through what you are going to have to in the near future.
I can not make a diagnosis for you by computer ! but what you describe sounds exactly like my Hepatic Encephalopathy or H.E. (look it up on google)
I love my wife and kids (18 and 20 ) but I was horrible, horrible to them, in front of them, around them, we were lucky we had a diagnosis of H.E. or else it would have been Hell (a bit like you describe) every case is different, but I used (now transplanted liver) to behave like I had no inhibitions, nothing held me back, so I could say things that normally I might have thought to myself... Oh dont say that, that is a horrible / terrible thing to say... but I just came out and said it (few regrets, as I was "crazy" luck for me my wife and kids "understood, I understood, and we all realised I was ill, myself included.... but until I was diagnosed my wife thought I had dementia, my children feared me and thought I had gone mad.
Rifaxomin helps with HE as does Lactulose (look them up)
I also had Citalopram (an anti depressant) which also helped a great deal.
It's been really good to see so many responses all saying pretty much the same things. I believe the overwhelming agreement and support will make a big difference for her, her family and her husband who is having to endure something we all understand only too well.
Please keep in touch with is all as you have a big liver family who already care how you and your family are we all kmow how difficult it is with liver disease amd do care for others om here ...you now belong..
I kmow for the wrong reasoms buti it is a community as people
My main concern is that you are still stuck in a house with a man who doesnt think jr needs any help!!!!!
How do.you get from this to himnin hospital
Would he accept trestment for setjimg else ?
Try to thimk of a way
Woild he take you if uou were ill.maybe ptetend your ill.i kmow im clutchimg at straws but he has to get to the docs somehow
Hola, i am so grateful because i found this group. Hes behavor is better in general but he only wants to tonto the homeopathy, i talked to him and asked him to see an hepatologist , i found one that a friend told me is a very good one, he says he will go soon..... What is making me so sad is that he is so mean towards me, he is always in a bad and sad mood, i finally told him that he can walked away if he wants but before he does that he needs to feel better and we have to see the Dr, he agreeed. But last night before bedtime he says i am going to be a Window before a became a divorced woman, i really feel so bad, we have been married for 27 years and i wanted him to feel safe i will take care of him, is just that he doesnt want to, my sons are tired of hes behavor i asked them to be informed but i feel they dont want to know much ( guess they are really scared)........My City is the second largest City in México and there are a lot of good Drs, but chirrosis is an stigma due to alcohol, and he got it with out being himself one, is very difficult to find help and support groups, sometimes i really feel so depressed, i have to work, and take care of the house and i worried about him all the time, i am so sad thinking how bad luck we had, he was always so hearhy, never at the hospital, never sick, always with so much strenght and now he looks so old......THANK You for your reply, best wishes,
Clair he will look awful i did when i was first diagnoed i was given vits a d e and k which helped these are the ones u cant absorb with liver disease...so he could have those.
Just remember that he will have no idea hiw hurtful hes being to you.its the toxins as people have said but they affect the mind.i loose words sentences cant remember anything this makes me very frustrated and i only have mild problems
Would he get help if you said you couldmt cope with it anymore.maybe for your own sanity you need to get away from the home for a little while till he gets bad enough that he accepts some help.
I really feel for you.i know my husband struggles with our relationship he has to work put things ready for me and help our children its no fun being a carer.
You are obviously doing a brilliant job so its no wonder you feel unappreciated.
Try to see your sons away from the home explain and let them know its okay not ti have to see their dad at the moment.
You mayhave to just call someone and get them round even though you will b very unpopular.xxxxlove cazer.
Hi Cazer, thanks a lot for asking, is unbeleivable but we went to the homeopathy Dr ( hes the only one he wants to see) he gave him more dosage of drops and hes much better; he stopped being bizarre and walks normally, he s mood is much better even though hes never happy anymore; i talked to a close friend about this situation and her new boyfriend is doing liver trasplants at a goverment hospital, she offered me an appointment to take my husband but he declined the offer, i Took a really tough decision, i promised to take care of him ( meals, diet etc..) until he leaves aour house, he decided to continue on hes own, perhaps he will feel much better without me and our two joung adults at home, he needs to earn more money to pay hes rent, i feel so sad, but theres not much i can do, he says he stopped loving me and doesnt have nice feelings towards me, what worries me is that i am not sure he can take care of himself, today he looks yellow and he has a strange thing on hes hand finger, like a Small cyst, he cures it with a spray but stills there. I gave him lots of fresh fruit juice and more veggies. I wish he changed and being who he was before, i send You lots of Hugs,
Ho Cazer, is it possible that he became the man he used to be ? Is it all because of hes liver? Hes better, he went to the dr (homeopathy) : he says he has colitis and he gave him more medicine and told him to eat only potatoes and rice; is unbeleivable , hes much better; not fond of me but hes easier.....what worries me is that while he was Having breakfast hes right hand shakes a little, I asked and he says it happens sometimes.....what can it be? My sons are out of town almost everyweekend i feel to avoid him/ i try to go to my moms house on saturdays and come home at night, hes out all of the weekend i dont know where he goes ( i beleive with the other woman he says he loves), he is easier with me i agree not to ask any thing and he is going to leave us,even though the other Day he was sad and mention to me that i will became a Window before i become a divorced........maybe he is depressed sometimes, i feel so lonely and sad,mi want to cry and hold him but he hates me so much.........i send You a sunny hug, it started to rain with lots of thunders, ; )
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Feeling deflated today.
