hello !

I' fairly new to this forum and have been finding it super helpful and comfortable. I'm to the hospital this morning for my check-up. A year ago today I was in the same hospital with a decompensated liver and a 30% chance of making it to Tuesday! Understandably I cannot remember much about it. I am an alcoholic and have battled the illness all my life. Having maintained 6mth sobriety.. I was terrified. I got hysterical if I thought there was even a trace of alcohon in my food. My consultant says that after 6mths sober, I relapsed on holiday. I didn't...I chose to drink, yes me! Dodging bullets big time I decide to cut back by 2/3rds and not drink in the morning, ha ha gamma having normalised with everything else in September back out at 289. So I think I need to cultivate some gratitude and be thankful, ultra sound clear, no varices or ascites or HE and I honestly have enjoyed past 3wks sober. I 'm still scared of Dr Death as I call him he just seems to make me feel weak and stupid and ungrateful. Oh God. Thanks for reading, feel o.k ow.

Chudleigh1

5 Replies

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  • well done for what you have achieved so far.... keep at it!

  • Well done! What an informative post. I like your honesty. You sound positive.

    Good luck! 🍀

  • Bloody hell, i can't believe it!  I don't understand how you are alive! But that 6 months sober certainly did something good re the liver and somehow made it improve/ function better; other people may not be so fortunate; but im amazed!  Well, you are doing the best you can and i agree its good re your honesty; well done and may your liver continue to improve / maintain its current status.  

  • good luck with your sobriety..I hope you are getting help and support. 

    And I hope your sponsor is working with you. I know for me, step one was never the problem...I knew what I was!

    But step 2 was really hard for me. When I did finally get sober back in 08 I was lucky enough to go into treatment for 90 days. All that support from being in a program and going to meetings, daily was life saving!

    Good luck! 

  • Hi Everyone

    Just to say big thanks to everyone who was so encouraging and supportive yesterday...made a big difference. My consultant took a good look at yesterday and shook his head(me, scared!) and said "what a difference a year makes" A year ago I was on constant obs in ICU with a decompensated liver and every other organ failing domino like. I explained that I was feeling well and went thru everything finishing with "my gamma is elevated because I have taken alcohol in the last 6mths but not for the past 3wks and now I'm scared again!" He just smild and said "I know" and then actually started to talk to me like a human being explaining that it was more normal that I would think that I would test the edges just a little push to see how far I could go. My liver has turned round and said "no sorry, you've insulted me again stop doing it I want to hang out with you a bit longer" So today I'm calmer more content and not wishing to sound like Pollyanna I want to live, just for this moment more than I want to drink. Sorry to sound like a rambling nut job, I'm aware of the dangers of over=elation but hey I celebrated yesterday with an ice cream soda! Thanks and love to everyone who's battling this b*****d

    Chudleigh

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