Struggling is not failure...Struggling means... successfully not giving up.

[Oldfloss]

That is what Coach Bennett on a Nike guided run told me and he is right..

That is why we runners are so incredible.

We never give up... and we keep showing up. starting line after starting line.

Hello people.

Floss Ramble Alert:

It has been a little while since my last Floss ramble... This is a long one... sorry!

I got to the goal of the amazing Monsal trail run, on April 2nd...it was a bit of a journey from post-Covid and all in between, but I got there, with a little help from my friends...I did it. It seems like an age ago.

Riding on a high from that, but back to earth, very quickly. with a real bump... an injury followed closely by yet more issues, with colds and ears... and I could feel myself sliding towards a place I did not wish to be; April is a month of mixed emotions for me... birthday month for Mr OF and myself...but the month also when my lovely father died and also, at the end of the month another date, which as some close friends on here, are aware, still has the potential to lay me low .

Determined not to let myself fall into the depths, I tried. Keeping up with my daily exercise routine...some yoga with Adriene... and reading all the posts, which do so much to keep me buoyant.

My problems seem so insignificant, compared with those of so many forum friends and reading of their strength and resistance, does make me feel stronger too. I cannot lie.. it was not easy. I tried.

But; after writing a very positive post on Catch Up Corner, yesterday, I am determined that I shall not give up, I shall try to turn my struggles into strengths and I will keep showing up on that starting line.

So, after a couple of rather odd runs last week... we headed for Wales yesterday. A long tiring journey did little to help and a restless night also. But, this morning dawned with the kind of sunshine and clear air that says Wales. Cartref Mor for a little longer this time and the joys of running in this wonderful location.

When I am here, I am different... not sure why, but it may be related the very many happy hours I have spent here since I was a small child. As we cross the mountains above Bala..it is like a checkpoint... my heart, literally does a somersault...

Soaking up the scenery, the towering peaks, the endless trees and the rough wild land... until making the brow of the last hill before we descent to the valley. A glimpse of the Estuary far in the distance , a silver ribbon leading to the restless sea, tells me, nearly there.

This morning I wanted to run. Conscious of the advice I hand out so liberally to others, about tiredness, I still wanted to run. I decided to re-try a sort of interval run...but not a proper one. I just said to myself. I will run, slowly and easily. Just down through the town and to the sea. I will run slowly and steadily, ( what else), and I will walk if I feel I need to.

I took Coach Bennett with me; but he was not alone. I took a lot of friends with me today.

Those friends who have had and are having, such struggles of their own. All moving up to new starting lines, some, seemingly unknown starting lines, and yet each and every one of them with a strength, a fierce determination and a positivity which brings me to my knees.

Setbacks, illness, injury, the loss of a close one, a starting line yes, but with an uncertain track ahead... those folk know who they are and, we ran together.

Out of the gate and down towards the hills... I had warmed up well, and the light jacket I had on was soon unzipped. The Gorse hedging, lines every turn, the heady scent filling my nostrils, the blue-hazed mountains, away beyond the fields, still slumbering under the cloak of morning.

My legs move, but with a slight reluctance, I know I had a long drive and they need to ease into the run.., so I walk briskly up the short incline back and then run again along the level and down towards the town. I am running easy, as CB asks me too...listening to his soft voice as he talks of the marvel of the machine that is me and my running body.

And marvel it is. I am 73 years old,, have been struggling to come back from the left overs of Covid, colds and infection and injury and yet... my body still responds; I feel the blood in the muscles, I feel my shoulders relax , I feel my feet lightly hitting the ground and I feel a smile on my lips.

Down and up towards the High Street... another short, but brisk walking section, about a minute and then off again.... past the bakers, the butchers, the newsagents, those little gems which are the lifeblood of this small place... turning down towards the railway and across, following the first early family groups heading towards the school... along and then about to head down towards the sea, I change my mind and head quickly now, pushing a tad harder to the bottom of the castle. I need to take a photograph.

The grassy mound stretches upwards and the two towers stand aloft... flags fluttering proudly and bravely in the wind... a quick snap and I am off down to the sea. Making up time now... the end of the run is near. I am counted down, and I determine to give a final effort to the last part of the run... I finish it as I wish too. With style.

I pause, I take another photograph or two. My breathing is easy, It has gone well. My new watch is flashing things at me... I cannot fly it properly yet... it is telling me my VO max is excellent and I have two new records... I have no idea what all this means... but it sounds good to me .

I walk slowly back up the hill and home... thoughts drifting, as I think of the folk at my side. They are running their own runs, from their own starting lines, but this morning, they ran with me, and I'm glad they did.

It was not a long run... 3.23K in 25 minutes, I did have two walking sections...I took photographs. But it was still a very satisfying run indeed.

A finishing line crossed and ready for another starting line, waiting.

Instructor57 ... the castle photograph is for you... because the only way, really is up... and you my friend, are showing the way.

Oldfloss x

A late but very important, special mention for linda9389 ... who is having a very rough time in Vancouver... but demonstrating that unmistakable strength, that makes her the runner that she is...

[linda9389 Graduate10]

Oh Floss, you are too kind. Thank you.

I have been out of the loop a bit for the last week or so and completely missed that you have been struggling. I'm sorry to hear that.

But you are so right. When we get back out there and just let our bodies do their thing, without pressure, they respond in the most amazing way; a way that fills both body and soul with new hope and determination.

Each curveball that comes my way concerns me a little less each time, as my confidence in coming back grows and grows (practice makes perfect right? and I have had lots of comeback practice, as have you).

There is always a new start line waiting for us 🥰

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to linda9389]

Thank you... I am getting back to being, me again, but what a palaver it has been,,. Like so many of us, there seems to be one thing after another !

When i was listening to the messages from CB it reallly did make me think, how really incredible the human body is... I've always thought it, but I was realising it in a different way. After Covid, and the dreadful fatigue of the week after, I felt like I may never run again ever, but the body has other ideas...

If we try to maintain a level of fitness in some way whilst recovering, in my case, it was just managing to do my regular, brushing my teeth, squat routine, in the first weeks ,it does keep us going.....

I am really hoping that you are feeling a tad better and that the you are going to be able to run that HM . Take care x

[Instructor57 Graduate10]

Wow, what a post !I have just read it twice, and each time I was with you all the way my friend.

Even your journey there.

It's amazing how the way we feel changes when we near the places we know and love so well .

You have had a challenging time with several hurdles to get over , but get over them you did in your usual admirable style !

Your run sounded just perfect , just what you needed and a great encouragement for us all, I was with you every step of the way.

Thank you for the picture, and your support.

I'm lucky to be able to call you a friend.

Here's to the next starting line 🙂 xx

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Instructor57]

Thanks you... there are places which really have the power to lift the spirits wonderfully.

We have been through the mill and it is so, so good to see you making your way back to full strength, despite the setbacks that keep cropping up. You just keep in coming back..., slowly and steadily... ( yes, I know

I needed to get that photo for you...when you stand at the bottom it does look almost unreachable, then you realise, there is an almost hidden, grassy path that curves it way up to the gateway into the castle... and that is the way you take. The comparison between that and our running seemed obvious

The next starting line is, indeed waiting... xxx

[Agelesslass Graduate10]

well done Floss, you’re doing great. I’ve been out of it for what seems like months, like you covid got me two years ago and I’ve had one illness after another since then, anxiety being the latest one, getting better now as I’ve had to go on a low dose of meds, I’ve joined a running club with the view that I will get my motivation to run back again. I miss my running, but I’m scared of making a fool of myself as Im so slow. Keep going Floss, you inspire me. 👏👏

[LiisaM in reply to Agelesslass]

Go for it, agelesslass, you would run circles around me.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to LiisaM]

...but you would still be running too... and that is the most important thing x

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Agelesslass]

You have had the most tricky time haven't you? I am really glad that you are getting some relief that is enabling you to feel a little less low, and to move forward. The idea of a running group too, I am sure, is going to help keep you buoyant and keep you moving too.

You know so well, that slow is just fine.. it truly is. You run for you, no one else. If you had seen me start off yesterday morning .... I was barely running, but, it does not matter because I knew that as the run went on it would feel easier, and without my realising it, I would be moving at whatever pace felt comfortable.

Just do what you are doing... and feel proud, you are actively helping yourself and you are doing it all in a positive way... You, and I, we will get there!

Thank you xxx

[damienair Administrator]

Great post Floss. Sometimes getting back into it again can be just as hard as starting out for the first time. All that building back up of fitness can only be done literally one step at a time and unfortunately there are no short cuts. But your doing fantastically well. Great running and fab photo's too. It's important to soak up the views and feel as one with nature. Happy running.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to damienair]

Thank you... and how true that statement is! Getting back can be as hard, sometimes feeling harder. There are indeed, no short cuts and for me, my infamous, slow and steady mantra really does come into its own.

It really is, as it is for so many of our friends here, the one thing after another, that gets you! I love this place, and being here for a little longer currently, is, I know going to boost my happy hormones more!

Off to the coast today for a long walk! x

[SueAppleRun Graduate10 60minGraduate]

That made wonderful reading Floss, never be sorry for having a ramble about running, the journey we all take together/apart. Running, walking, enjoying the wonders of the world you run through. This is a particularly special time of year xx

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to SueAppleRun]

I do go on a bit though..

You know that you were with me on the run... the beauty of the place does much to ease body and soul... thank you x

[SueAppleRun Graduate10 60minGraduate in reply to Oldfloss]

Yes I knew thank you xx

[LiisaM]

I agree with willowandsola—“never be sorry fo having a ramble about running.” This was a wonderful and thought provoking post. I have not run for so long. I have not done weight exercises nor yoga. I did today, however, put two 40-lb bags of salt in my car and carry them in and down to our basement once home. I also put three 5-gallon jugs of water in my car and carried them in to the kitchen once we got home. And yes, Molly had a short, slow walk—only about two tenths of a mile. But we have issues here; hubby is now also legally blind and having some kind of gastric issue so we’re headed to a PA Friday. After succeeding at running all winter, because of my current setback, I will likely have to redo c25k again, but it won’t be the first time! I was pleased to see all your thoughts today.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to LiisaM]

This says it all.

You are the perfect example of the strength within is. Turning negative into positive...

You did not run... but the steps you put in, back and forth....that counts

You walked with Molly.... that counts.

You not done weight training... but you carried two bags of salt...and ferried large containers of water to your car and back!

All this, and the huge weight of the problems with your husband. You. my friend are doing incredibly. I hope the appointment goes well and you are going to be able to get the support that you so desperately need.

Hold on ... I and we are here for you xxx

[Dexy5 Graduate10]

So sorry that I may have missed a post along the way Oldfloss . April seems to have been a month when several of my running buddies have had bad health news but I did not realise that you too had been struggling. I am glad that you are back in your favourite spot and will be able to recharge those batteries again.

I am hoping to get out for a run by the sea tomorrow and will take you along with me.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Dexy5]

Thank you!

Well, I have tried not to whinge too much on any posts, there are so many of our running friends really suffering right now!

After Monsal... the runs have been so sporadic... and it just seemed as if I was unable to move forward. I am feeling so much better...and getting a couple of short exploratory, ( and entertaining runs), made me realise that , yes, I am stronger than I thought.. and despite my mindset, my body was healing...

Having looked a little more at this whole V0 max thing... and spent more time with my new watch,,, I was absolutely delighted. yesterday afternoon, when I accidentally pressed one button to see my Fitness age was 47!!! Go me Ha ha!

I shall enjoy another run by the sea today... thank you xxx

[Dexy5 Graduate10 in reply to Oldfloss]

Yes , although I don’t believe a watch can really predict your VO2max, I guess it does shows a trend based on HR and speed. And I am always pleased when it goes up. Last week I got back to Excellent 37 again after the skiing break, tapering and doing slower runs reduced it .

I wouldn’t say you’re a day over 47. 😀

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Dexy5]

I hadn't a clue...just figured excellent was better than...poor! 😀

Yes..I was actually a child bride..😅

🤣

[Dendev75 Graduate10]

Such an uplifting and positive post OF when (as you say) a lot of people are struggling with life, injury, health etc. I didn’t realise you have had setbacks recently - I’m sorry to hear that.

I loved reading about your run (beautiful pics) but I especially enjoyed reading the part where you smile when running ☺️.

I’m feeling like my running is going in the right direction at the moment (I feel like I’m almost back to where I was last November - health and fitness wise) but I’m ever worrying now about getting more sinus probs/calf strains etc I can’t fully enjoy it.

Your run sounds amazing and I’m glad you enjoyed it 🥰 xx

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Dendev75]

Thanks you so much,...I felt like I was just a bag of moans recently and some of our forum friends are really going through it currently, so, I did not say too much,

I do find a joy rambling about my runs as you know, and sharing my thoughts, with people who know exactly what I am talking about is so good.

Yes, I realise that I do smile a lot when I run.. it is for me, so important to enjoy it!

I am so glad that you are heading on the right direction now. Health and fitness wise? Well, I can totally empathise with that... sinus issues and blocked ears were one of my setbacks... but fingers crossed, the ears have sorted! I am waiting to see someone about the sinus !

All we are able to do, is try to focus on the thought, that things will sort...and try very hard to relax, take it gently and celebrate every successful step. You are doing it... just hold that thought.

I am due another run tomorrow and this time I shall head across the fields to the sea... weather permitting ! Thank you xxx

[Teresa1632 Graduate10]

Beautiful and inspiring ❤❤ There us something about a special place that makes you exhale and all the tension leave your body when you reach it. ❤❤

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Teresa1632]

Got it in one....you are absolutely correct. The shoulders drop, the body relaxes and you simply, breathe. x

[Leotigris Graduate10]

such a wonderful post OF, and your ability to see metaphors in the landscape is astounding.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Leotigris]

Thank you...I just soak it up...like blotting paper! Xxx

[Curlygurly2 Graduate10]

Well done Floss, a run really changes things doesn't it? I expect you know I've struggled these past months, I got into such a dark place I almost never visited HU, but I always kept moving, even as I saw my ability and distance dwindle away. More walking than running during most of last year. Air and sunlight as so important... and clouds, I love clouds. And Coach Bennet, he really is carrying me along at the moment.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to Curlygurly2]

I replied to this and then erased it!

Goodness... You, my friend, know first-hand , how hard it is to keep going, time after time. Many folk on here have no idea of the struggles you have faced, nor, how your strength of will and sheer determination has got you back on your feet after so many knock downs.

It is so, so good to see you back here with us, posting and replying on Bridge and Couch... and so good too to see you back on the Marathon and Hm forum too.

Your experiences can teach us so much and many of our new runners will benefit enormously from your input.

You are so right... a run, no matter how short, can change so much... and the fresh air, the sights, the sounds of the world do have the potential to lift u so wonderfully.

I love the light and the endless skies... and I love to decide what shapes I can see in the clouds. Cloud watching is a favourite past time.

Thank you for being here x

[Curlygurly2 Graduate10 in reply to Oldfloss]

Thank you dear friend, that was a lovely reply, I read it to my husband and he was touched too. While I would never wish ill health or injury on anyone, it helps to know others are struggling too, and doing the best they can with whatever they have to deal with.

[backintime Graduate10]

Great post Oldfloss, I love a long read!

Sorry you've been struggling, but you are one of the most determined, inspiring and helpful people on here

It's amazing how many people we carry on our runs sometimes, but they don't weigh a thing, in fact I think they carry me!

We are all here for you, every step of the way, I wouldn't be where I am without you!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate10 in reply to backintime]

Thank YOU!

It is so good how we carry others, and they carry us... Whilst I have friends to run with here... I know I am going to make it ! xx

[Hedgehogs123 Graduate10]

I always love reading your posts. They are from the heart and so open and honest. I know I often say this, but this forum is such a magical place and I feel so lucky I found it, and although I've only met a couple of people linda9389 and Sandie1961 I feel like I know many more of you because we all share this passion and understanding around running and the way you feel the tension drop away when you get out and run. Plus getting introduced to Coach Bennett was definitely a big bonus to me, I love having him with me on my runs.!!I tweeted ' Dan the engineer's several months ago and Coach Bennett and they both answered me. Made my day!!! 😁😁.

[Irish-John Graduate10]

So very well written and definitely encouraging - Well done Floss.