That one Smile through Cancer.

[KomalMirani]

She's too weak coz of the radiation.. But she's better than before.. She doesn't sleep all day.. She listens to us talk.. Responds a bit.. And smiles when we say something stupid.. I could give up everything I have for that smile.. That weak smile means so much..I hope to keep that smile on her till she's with us.. I guess this is just a phase.. Tough one. Very tough. But I hope we'll get through it.. I wish I knew how she manages to look so pretty even in this condition.

[kontak TeamBCI]

Komal - yes the smile keeps us alive - very nice to read your post - Take best care of her & do the best you can -

[sumeet_shah Administrator]

Thats good to hear, that she feels better now! And I am sure, that million dollar smile will surely make you and your family members love her more than ever before, each passing moment.

The problems which most patients face at this stage are:

1. They dont eat much due to a loss of appetite and distaste for food. Here, we try to give them what they like, even in small quantities.

2. Pain is a problem for many. We try to give them patches and make them comfortable

3. Constipation. Due to reduced food intake, and as a side effect of strong pain killers and patches. We give them stool softeners and enema as and when needed.

4. Disturbance of sleep cycle. Due to all above, sleeping times are very erratic. They may sleep in morning or evening and then may not get sleep at night. We try to give them some tranquilizers, which do help to some extent.

Apart from this, I request my patients relatives to concentrate on following:

1. Give positive vibes. Remember those good old days. Rake up old memories. Try to bring out things which make them laugh. Just like you did above. See what catches their attention.

2. If even a little bit energetic, try to give them a little bit of work to make them feel good

3. Let them play with their children or grand children. The grand child (or her child, depending on patient's age), maybe, can read out a small story to her and talk to her about all things or play tiny little games with her.

4. Birthday letters. For my patients who are young and have kids and are in a terminal stage, I encourage their husbands to sit with them, and to make them write future birthday letters - From a mother to a child - which can be sealed and kept in cup board and can be given to the child as the future birthdays come.

So continue what you are already doing - loving her, expressing it to her, making her smile. Everything you do is so worthwhile for her.

[KomalMirani in reply to sumeet_shah]

Yeah she doesn't eat much.. But we give her little little every 2-4 hrs.. Mostly liquid. She gets severe back pain.. My doctor wrote us a medicine for that which makes it better.

And we're always energetic and happy around her . She feels too helpless and feels like a burden but we keep assuring her that its okay to be sick, coz no one invites illness' and that everything is going to be okay.

Thanks a lot. You're great help.

[MsLockYourPosts TeamBCI]

Komal - I'm glad your mother is feeling a little better. Those smiles from loved ones are better than gold. She is very lucky to have you doing everything possible to support her during this difficult time. I hope that you will be able to discuss her situation with her doctor with your father present. As hard as it will be for him to hear, he needs to understand what your mother is dealing with, for her sake and for yours. Do look for support for yourself during this time, whether from relatives, friends, or even medical personnel. You will help your mother best if you take care of yourself, also.

Sending a big hug across the seas from California!

Pat

[greenbear]

Hi komal nice to hear your mother is feeling better. Take care.

[id53]

Hello Komal, glad to know that your mother is feeling better. Being a daughter to a mother who also went through the same phase recently, i can totally relate to what you are going through and how much that one smile matters to us My mom finished her treatment this Jan, so we went through a lot of ups and downs last year.

As Dr Sumeet rightly pointed out in his elaborate post and as you also mentioned, good nutritious food is very important at this stage, and we also kept giving my mom something every 2-3 hours. We tried to alternate liquid and solid food which her taste buds liked.

Most important of all, be strong. I know it's easier said than done, i have cried all alone on multiple nights thinking why did this happen and when would she be fine. I also couldn't talk with my dad about it just for the fear that i didn't want him to see me crying. But as time went on, i guess i got the strength and be a pillar for both my parents. I can now discuss with dad about the fears and what all we should be doing. I want the time that we have as family together be a happy and memorable time. Hope you get to it soon dear

Take care! Keep in touch for any of your doubts or questions as your mom continues her treatment.

Love and hugs,

Isha

[KomalMirani in reply to id53]

Hey.. Thanks a lot. And the dad thing yes.. I don't have the strength to talk to him about it.. He knows my mom for 30yrs now so his pain Is 3x mine.. And I cant see him cry.. So I avoid talking to him about it but then I have to be there for him too.. Its a mess.. Yes I hope I get to get out of it soon.. I'm glad you are. Best wishes to your mum and your family. Thankyou

[tiger72]

Hi Komal:

Please stay strong & positive. I know it is easily said than done. Only when u r strong & positive u will be able to face ur parents, friends & relatives.

It's good to know that your mom is feeling better. Seeing you smile & strong, she will also get inspired. Please keep us posted and we all are there for you. Our prayers are always with you.

Regards,

Tiger72.

[KomalMirani]

@SumeetShah: My mom's cancer has spread to the brain. Even if you just touch her head lightly,like really lightly.. She can't take it.. At all..why is it so bad? X-x can anything be done about it?

[kontak TeamBCI]

Komal See to give her PALLATIVE CARE from some hospital where they give medicines to reiIeve pain

[KomalMirani]

I don't exactly understand pallative care. We have to keep her there or what?

[manish_vkg TeamBCI]

komal i can feel your pain....its really said know, spread to brain...is she under chemo treatment? which chemo is going on...there is any tumour in brain?

[KomalMirani]

She's under radiation

[kontak TeamBCI]

Komal is it radiation to the brain - how is her over all health. Is she eating or not yet

[KomalMirani in reply to kontak]

Yes radiation to the brain.. No she doesn't eat.. Hospitalized now.. Doctor has put her on a liquid diet. She's getting worse day by day.. Worse.. In the hosp now.. So hoping she'll be in less pain

[greenbear]

It is a tough time for you Komal. Now that she is hospitalised I am sure they will do something for her pain.

Hope she comes out of this ordeal soon. praying for you whole family

[Richa25]

Hi Komal

You are a beautiful person and ur parents have raised a fine child..it is indeed a tough phase...feels so unreal like a nightmare...will pray for u ur family and ur mom to have all the needed strength...stay strong Komal...We are there should u need us...

love n hugs

Richa

[Hidden]

Komal please introduce yourself

healthunlocked.com/breastca......