Need some encouraging words!

[Donnanh]

Good morning everyone, am feeling really angry and negative at the moment and need some positivity please help. Had cycle 5 (docetaxal) before Christmas which was problematic and seems I have picked up an infection since, spent a night on ward on Wednesday with IV as blood was low. I’m now home with more antibiotics and am scared to check my temperature in cases it’s up, they say do you feel unwell, but compared to what? I’ve felt crap on the docetaxal thought I’d got away with it as EC was bearable..My husband asked me what my temperature was I nearly snapped his head off!

[Lainey66]

Aaahhh yes the lovely docetaxal, guaranteed to make you feel shite! One thing you must do, without fail, is keep a very very close eye on your temperature 🤒 I didn’t and ended up in Hospital for a month with Neutropenia, sepsis and pneumonia. If your temperature goes up you have to get to the hospital quicker than the proverbial ‘hot snot’... yep that quick! ... again I didn’t. I was so utterly sick of hospitals and treatment and feeling so low and Ill, that when I suddenly took a downward spiral and everyone was aware that there was something seriously wrong, I snapped and fought them horribly. I was the bitch from hell! Hurting all those who love and care for me. Eventually I gave in, my temp was 42, I was shivering and freezing (or so so thought) because my body was fighting to cool itself down. This was a clear sign that the infection had caused sepsis. I nearly died. Learn from this old fool. On a very positive note 📝I’m alive, happy, filling my days with hobbies as I had to take early retirement, and, on occasion, still that bitch from hell... but a good one ☝️ Sending hugs and positive vibes, Lainey66 xxxxx Now go and check your temperature 🤒

[Donnanh in reply to Lainey66]

Thank you Lainey, I know I need to keep in top of this, it’s just stressing me out, I have 1 cycle left, it feels so close yet so far...have checked my temperature it is ok 👌🏾

[Lainey66 in reply to Donnanh]

One cycle to go... a shining light at the end of the tunnel. You have got this and you are allowed your down days. But do pick yourself up again and kick ass on this cancer. Not long to go now xx

[Donnanh in reply to Lainey66]

Thanks Lainey yes I’ve got this 💪🏼xx

[waveylines]

Sending you hugs Donnanh. Docetaxel treatment is horrid!! Made me very poorly. You are nearly there -one more round. Hang in there girl!! You do need to keep an eye on your temp. I did end up in hospital with neutropenia sepsis....luckily they caight it early so mine was a five day stay. So the minute your temp goes up ring them....the sooner they get the antibiotics in the better for you.

Completely understand that you are sick (literally!!!lol) of all the treatment.....but keep going & let those loving people around you care for you.... xx

[Donnanh in reply to waveylines]

hi Waveylines, yes this docetaxal has really battered me! I was worried about the FEC Red Devil etc but that was nothing compared to this! Thanks for your message it really helps x

[waveylines in reply to Donnanh]

Glad my post helped Donnanh. 😊😊 Docetaxol is definately worse in my experience. The trouble is each round accumulates as your body gets repeatedly hammered by the chemo. So now is definately the time to get your loved ones doing as much as poss for you. You just focus on getting through. At my worst I could barely eat but a lovely MacMillian nurse advised on little fromage frai, ice lollies or those children milky lollies & good old fashoned home made broth. I used to have a small cup of it. Really helped. That and watching mindless programmes snuggled in a throw laid on settee!!!

Hang in there.....ask & get all the tablets you can to offset the se's.....this is no time for being stoic!!! 😜😊 You will get through this & look back wondering how you did it....

Biggest hugs & wishing you all the best for 2018. Xxx

[moseypowell]

Wishing you all the very best in 2018. Will be thinking of you xxxx

[Donnanh in reply to moseypowell]

Thank you Moseypowell x

[Hidden]

Never had this type of treatment, and so glad I didn’t by the sound of it, please take Laineys advice, as she always sound like she knows what she’s talking about. Hope you have a happy and healthier New Year, nearly there.xxx

[Lainey66 in reply to Hidden]

lol 😂thanks Parker1438. It’s only from personal experience. I have tended to blog and chat my whole way through this. By doing so gave me a platform to vent my frustration but also assist others. Here is to a health 2018 for us all xxxx❤️

[Hidden in reply to Lainey66]

And don’t we all deserve it. I love your approach, attitude. You inspire others with your blog.

Happy and healthy New year to you and your family,and everybody else on here❤️❤️❤️

[Donnanh in reply to Hidden]

Yes it’s great to have someone like Lainey around 😊

Hope you have a fantastic 2018 too xx

[Redwine50]

O dear ,poor hubby .our loved ones can't do right for doing wrong.they can't understand ,but I'm sure they try their best.mine once asked me if I needed painkillers while I was being sick .

So come on my fellow cancer kickass and don't be scared.sending positive vibes and hugs

Kx

[Donnanh in reply to Redwine50]

Thank you K xx

[Haven44]

I went through the same with docetaxol. My first three rounds of E&C were a doddle in comparison. After my first round of docetaxol I struggled on for a few days but ended up lying on the kitchen floor whilst trying to cook dinner feeling like death and ended up in clinic for 48 hours having God knows how many rounds of antibiotics intravenously administered! However after that they gave me a booster after the next two cycles and although I still had the problems with taste, texture, aches (bizarrely very sore armpits) etc my blood counts stayed up and it was a lot better. I could work for the most part and get back to a bit of normality. I don't know whether they have offered you the booster or not but it's definitely worth a try. Don't give yourself a hard time about being angry. It's natural and sometimes damn right useful in getting you through. I was generally pretty positive most of the way through but sometimes you just need to process and have a rant as it is an incredibly difficult time. Is there anyone you can talk to openly about your feelings? Family and friends are great but there are some things you sometimes want to shield them from and also it's often useful to speak to someone who has some understanding of what you're experiencing. I am lucky enough to live near The Haven in Leeds where anyone effected by breast cancer, including family members and friends, can go for help, treatments and counselling. I don't know if there is anywhere near to you where you can go? I don't know how many rounds you're having. I had 6 in all, 3 of those being the docetaxol. I won't lie. There are some symptoms that can carry on for a while but on the whole 4 weeks after my last round I felt so much better and started feeling like I could enjoy life again instead of just gritting my teeth and getting through it. I've finished the majority of my treatment and surgery now as it's now over a year since I was diagnosed and am feeling pretty much back to normal. I am on medication but that's not been a problem. I hope there's end in sight for your treatment and you'll soon be feeling a whole sight better. Sending you love K

[Donnanh in reply to Haven44]

Hi K thank you for your message, I’m so happy you’re done with all this and are starting to feel ‘back to normal’!

I was quite positive even after surgery in the summer but the chemo has really taken its toll I think.

But I’m feeling better today and hopefully will wake up feeling even better tomorrow.

Have a happy 2018 x

[Haven44 in reply to Donnanh]

Happy 2018 to you too. May it bring you much better things xx

[RoxanneT]

👉💞👈 This is a hug.

It's here when you need it xx

[Donnanh in reply to RoxanneT]

Thank you RoxanneT 😊

[Donnanh]

Thank you ladies for all your kind messages, wishes and wisdom. I’m definitely feeling much better. Wishing you all a very very Happy New Year xxxx

[Lmccoin]

I wish you blessings for the new year and may god watch over and keep you in his arms! Prayers for you!

[Donnanh in reply to Lmccoin]

Thank you and a very happy new year to you too 😊

[Margt34]

It's interesting to read other people's take on this horrible treatment completed3 cycles fec and now done 1 docetaxel this last one was the worst griping pains and diarrhoea,taste buds shot aches and pains but I am battling through no ones mentions minor cuts and scrapes on hands growing huge and won't heal I feel like I have done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson can't wait to reach the end and get my life back

[Donnanh in reply to Margt34]

Hi Margt34

Sorry you’re going through the same crappy chemo. The docetaxal has left me looking and feeling totally battered. A few days ago I thought to myself I don’t want another cycle my body can’t cope and it’s going to kill me! Today I’m feeling more normal and ready (kind of) for my last one. We’ll get there soon, take care, all the best wishes xx

[Debster2016 in reply to Margt34]

Hello Margt34. My treatment was all last year now. During that time someone suggested this website: Liz.oriordan.co.uk. Her hands peeled badly and there is a photo on her blog. I’m sorry I can’t remember what she did about it but if you have a little look it may help you.

Best of luck for the rest of your trea,ent xx