Abortion or Keep?!

I'm a single mum of two, split with their dad a couple years ago. We have a good relationship and my daughters are settled. I've been back at work for a year now, finally getting my life on track and I've found out I'm pregnant. Been seeing a guy on and off for 10months, and we both agreed we couldn't have this kid. So yesterday I went to my appointment with Marie Stopes with all intentions to get rid of the growing bundle of cells in my tummy. Only to discover, I'm 8 weeks pregnant with IDENTICAL TWINS.! The consultant advised I go away and think about what I want to do. In my heart I want to keep them, the father has made it very clear that he won't be playing a part in their lives, and he's begging me to get rid. I understand life is going to be tough, working isn't really financially beneficial at the moment, I do it more for my independence, but that will not be the case when the twins are here so my job will be out the window. I did not see my future being a single mum on benefits to four children at the age of 27..Am I being crazy for even considering keeping these babies?! I feel like abortion is immoral at the best of times, twins are a blessing, but I really don't think I can do this on my own. My family are supportive and have said they'll be there for me whichever I decide.

I'm concerned that my girls are going to suffer and go without by having more kids. I hate the idea of the twins growing up without a father. I hate that I'll be back on benefits after working so hard to get off them, and I worry that I will never find "true love" I mean who takes on a benefit mum with 4 kids with two different dads.?!!!

I keep coming to the conclusion of get rid, but then something says woah can't do that..

I really need some advice please :'(

6 Replies

  • the fact is I think you have already made up your mind what you are going to do, even with the slightest doubt you should not go ahead unless 100% happy with your decision, being a single mum is hard absolutely but its also so rewarding, only you can decide, all I can say if it was me I would be looking forward to holding my twins

  • Do what you think is right is all I can say

  • Do not go ahead with an abortion unless you are 1000% sure! being a single mom is hard but not impossible and you sound as though you have a very good support system so don't rush into any decisions!

  • In your heart you have already decided. The father will realise one day but that it is completely his loss!!! You have a great support network who will help you and you will and can one day get off benefits and support yourself. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Already knowing that you have raised your two girls it is very clear that you can raise another two!

  • I agree with people above.. if you have to ask or pause for thought it shows you aren't 100% in this. I think you need make the choice for you as it's you that will have live with the decision. It will be hard with 4 but they are worth the work! But same on the other side if you don't want any more children then you don't have to its your choice. I hope you manage make the right decision for you and it all goes well xx

  • Hi there

    Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. It is a very hard decision, but as hard as it is only you can decide‎ what happens. As whether you continue the pregnancy or have an abortion, you are the one that will have go through either decision. You have to decide what's best for your family. Sometimes writing it down as a 'pro's & con's lists helps, advice from family is always helpful, but you will always be the main carer. Take some time to think, maybe chatting to your GP (who is neutral) might help too? Good luck.

    Best wishes