When is the best time as I am confused

We have been trying to conceive for nearly 1 1/2 years and are really struggling as we need to find the right time.

Let me explain... My partner is under a lot of stress from work (and is 20 years older than me, don't know if that matters) so he really has to force himself to perform.

The first year I was using ovulation tests which showed me ovulating around 14 to 16 days after the first day of my period.

As I didn't get pregnant in that year time we decided to go to the GP and get ourselves tested.

The GP told me I had to go in on the 21st day after the first day of my period to see if I was ovulating. Both our test came back positive. His swimmers still swim and I am perfectly fertile as well.

Now my question is... do I ovulate 14 to 16 days (as the ovulation tests say) or 21 days (as my GP said) after my first day of my period???

I am so confused and getting really frustrated as if I get 2 chances a month (sexwhise) I am lucky!

We really want to get pregnant and it is getting really frustrating for us so I need help!

[Hidden]

Hey! Your most fertile for around a week around your ovulating day so as long as you do it 3/4 times that week your chances will be higher good luck X

[shimmysham84]

Hi, I'm not sure what ovulation test you have been using but I personally found the ClearBlue Fertility monitor worked well for me (I now have an 18m old). It detects the hormone rise around 3 days prior to ovulation so its best to start having sex then and every day up until the day after you have ovulated as sperm can live longer in the body then it will detect the peak day which is your ovulation day so you can have sex again then and then the day after as the egg will last around 24-48 hours. I would say this is quite accurate as it is detecting the actual hormones your body produces ready for ovulation.

Hope this helps.

[Hidden in reply to shimmysham84]

I was using the clear blue ones (the ones with the smiley face)

Will have to give them another go if I get my period (again ) in the next few days.

[AliH2626]

Any update? I tried to post here before, but must not have worked! I was going to say I've heard stress can make it harder to conceive. Send me a message if you want to chat xx

[Hidden in reply to AliH2626]

Still confused why the doctor checked my ovulation (blood test) 21 days after my first day of my period so that is not cleared up as yet.

Next Wednesday is 10 days after my first day of period and have told my partner that from then for the next week we have to "go for it" every day.

I told him we have been trying for so long now and that once or twice a month will never get us pregnant, he understands completely and said there is nothing more he would love and that is a child (and maybe some less work he said lol).

We will see this month... I guess I have to start looking at it that way as stressing about trying and then crying for half a day after a negative test is not the way to go.

[AliH2626 in reply to Hidden]

Oh that sounds like a wonderful improvement! Just remember how much you love each other and why you want to bring another person into the world. Take the time to praise each other and tell each other how much you appreciate each other and what you love about them. Really find a peace and a rest. Take the next week as a little honeymoon, and think of ways to surprise and delight each other. Praying for you and your little family. all the best xx