Help! :(: I am pregnant and in a... - British Pregnancy...

British Pregnancy Advisory Service

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Help! :(

lulu902 profile image

I am pregnant and in a devastating position. I do not know if I am pregnant from my abusive ex who raped me or my fiance. I can't continue with this pregnancy if it could be my exes.


I am 35 going on 36/in two months.

First day of last period was April 13th. (This was unusually early. Periods are normally the 20th of each month)

My ex who I finally got away from (2 horrible years) raped me on April 18th

My fiance came to visit from April 24 to the 28th (we had sex several times)

The entire time I was with my ex he would try to get me pregnant against my will. He would then tell me i wasn't a woman because I couldn't get pregnant. I ended up believing I was it possible that he was infertile? ( apparently he did hard drugs earlier in life and hasn't ever taken care of himself) I haven't been sexual in any way with him for quite a long time.

April 24-28 was the first time I have ever had sex with my fiance.

I had a faint positive pregnancy test on May 18th.

In my heart I feel that the baby is my fiances; however, i am terrified that it could be my exes and I couldn't continue with the pregnancy. I am devastated and torn.

Can I be confident that this baby is my fiances? I haven't had an ultrasound yet.

11 Replies

I also just took a clear blue pregnancy test and it said conception was 2-3 weeks ago. I'm hoping this means I got pregnant from the last day i had sex with my fiance and I ovulated later and my fiance was already gone. This would also mean that the 5-7 days that my ex could have impregnated me from sperm living that long.

With your date I would most definitely say it's your fiances baby you're carrying. The time you sent with him falls into you ovulation dates.

My advice is to tell your fiance everything. I'll assume he will be delighted when shown how ovulation works. Enjoy your pregnancy, your relationship, and your baby!

Good luck!

rosa2015 profile image
rosa2015 in reply to rosa2015

Ps Sorry about your ordeal!

Thank you rosa2015..... It is terrifying and I am so embarassed and ashamed to have to tell him. He is so happy and is buying things already....meanwhile my heart is devastated. I pray that God didn't bring me this far to have to go through an abortion. Thank you again.

In theory if your period was April 13th then you were most likely to have ovulated around 14 days later, so 27th, so 25-29th is the most likely time to have fallen pregnant. There is no way to know this though and when you have your scan you should have a better idea of dates.

Does your fiance know what happened with your ex? Can you discuss this, and your concerns, with him?

lulu902 profile image
lulu902 in reply to Katrina13

To make it all worse.....the guy lives a few blocks away and has definite mental health issues, he emails me continuously and basically has conversations with himself. I do not reply at all. It scares me......I don't know what will happen if I run I to him...and my fiance is gone until July. I am so afraid that I am almost at a point to just get an abortion because I cannot have a child with someone who raped me.....then if I do fiance will be devastated. I don't see a positive outcome. I don't even know anymore.

Katrina13 profile image
Katrina13 in reply to lulu902

I would strongly suggest either reporting your ex for what he has done and/or seeking some support from Rape Crisis.

He doesnt know at all. The last thing I want is my fiance to do is to flip out and hurt someone then not be around at all. Plus my fiance is in another country currently and I am afraid that would stress him out because he can't help me. I feel pretty helpless!

It is best to tell your fiancé exactly what has gone on he can help

You must go to the police. You do not just need to protect yourself you need to protect your baby! You must seek help.

Good news is that is was too early for you to conceive when you were abused by that horrible man so this baby is yours and your fiances.

Please protect yourself and your loved ones from this monster. Good luck x

:(. Thank you so much for responding. I did lose my baby though and am still in the process of miscarriage. Back to the hospital again in the mooring for a D&C. I didn't realize how completely devastating this could all be.... My fiance is devastated as well. Thank you for all of the support and comments. It has made me feel no alone through all of this. God bless

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