I had an abortion

[Jamielyn48]

4 years ago when I was 21 I had an abortion. I have never really spoke about it or thought that it had effected me because I don`t want children I never have wanted them. When I found out I was pregnant it was to my ex boyfriend and that wasn`t a great situation. I originally wanted to keep it because I never believed in abortions before then. I had no support from my ex during this time. I remember sitting about to take the pill to start the abortion and I was crying so much. The nurse was lovely but I needed him there to tell me it was right, not because I loved him but because he was the other half of the baby. I went through the abortion the next day after being rushed in due to problems and I was with a friend but she was useless. My mum ended up coming and my "friend" left. I was happy my mum was there but the pain I went through and what I saw I will never forget.

I don`t regret having the abortion and I think if that's what you want and you know its right for you then you should get one but I don`t think your decisions should be decided by someone else. I was called every name under the sun and called a liar when I found out I was pregnant it was horrible. After it was all over I ended up in hospital twice because I started to bleed out because of an undiagnosed blood condition but that abortion could of killed me.

Maybe I`m just totally hormonal just now because I know its nearly 4 years exactly since I had it but I can`t help but think what my life would of been otherwise. Did I make the right choice? I think I did but what if I didn't and what if I do go to hell because of it. Sorry for ranting on it`s just I've never spoke about it really before.

[becca112]

Hello- there is absolutely no need for you to apologise this is a good space to let all of those emotions out, I know I've done it a fair few times! I have also had an abortion so know how as the years pass you can reflect and question the decisions that you once made. But I think that we tend to make a choice that is right for us in that moment in time and although its hard years later to remember those reasons it's good to take yourself back. I hope this helps in someway. xxx

[Jamielyn48 in reply to becca112]

Hi,

Thank you that helped a lot. I know that I don`t regret what I done but I suppose as the years go past and I get older i start to think about what a different life i would of had, xxx

[becca112 in reply to Jamielyn48]

I'm glad it helped. I think it is totally normal to reflect on actions form the past and to think about how different your life would have been, I suppose you can do it with all aspects of your life. But I think what is important is to allow yourself to look to the past but to also take the time to think about your future and what is still to come. xx