British Pregnancy Advisory Service
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Single but I want to know whether I am able to conceive

I need a bit of advice please......

I was with an ex partner for almost 10 years and for almost 2 years we were having unprotected sex in the hope of me falling pregnant (At the time I thought that we weould be together forever). We eventually split up (Not related to us not conceiving though) and went our separate ways. I met someone else and again tried for almost a year but to no avail (He already had 3 children from a previous relationship) We are no longer together, again not related to our ability to conceive. 18 months later, I have met someone else and I am concious that my age (I am almost 34 now) could become an issue if we are to try at some point. At this moment in time, we havent been together that long so we are not currently trying to conceive, I know that in the future he would very much like a child and it is something that we have talked about all being well.

My concern is that I can not get pregnant. But, how would I go about finding out what my situation is? There is a lot of support and help for people in relationships but what about those who ar not, or are in very early stages and still have very real concerns?

I keep reading that you have to have tried for at least a year but then also that if you believe there is an issue and are 35 or thereabouts, you should see a doctor sooner rather than later.

I have had long periods of over a year at a time where I havent been on the pill etc aswell.

Any advice would be very much appreciated!

Thanks x

2 Replies

Hello- trying to conceive is a really difficult, it took me and my husband a long time and I can imagine because you are in a new relationship it can make talking about it a little harder. I would definitely go and see your GP and talk through your history with them and they will be able to advise you on your next steps and how long you should be waiting for etc. However, sometimes conceiving can be easier with different people, a friend of mine tried with her ex-husband for a few years and then when they separated and she found a new partner and they were able to conceive within 6 months so don't loose hope yet! Good luck with it x


Hi Lilly,

Even thought you aren’t trying to conceive now, I think you have a very valid reason to speak to your GP about this. As Becca says, it can sometimes be that a couple are not compatible in terms of conception, rather than a sign of infertility, so there may be nothing to worry about. And while fertility does decline with age, plenty of women get pregnant in their late thirties - and around 1 in 25 births and abortions are to women over 40. However, as you are concerned and have had problems in the past the best thing to do would be to talk to your GP, or seek support from family planning service.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes



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