Hoping For a Happier New Year

[DancingEyes63]

I hope that everyone had a nice holiday. Mine wasn't what I'd hoped for but I made it through. Christmas was always my favorite time of the year. My Christmas season started a few days before Thanksgiving when I'd start decorating and last until my birthday on January 6th when I'd start putting the decorations away. My daughter Manda was my "partner in crime" and always helped me turn the house into a winter wonderland. We'd get up at dawn on December 26th to go raid the stores looking for awesome things to add to the decorations. All that changed in 2010 when Manda was taken ill suddenly on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. We discovered that a virus she had picked up at the hospital while doing her last clinical before graduation had turned into Autoimmune Encephalitis. Even though she received the best care possible at what at the time was regarded as one of the best teaching hospitals that specialized in Neurology, we lost her on December 22, 2010. Since then Christmas has been rough for me. Jimmy had worked so hard helping me get where I could celebrate the holidays and find some of the joy of the season again. That changed in 2022 when I lost him to HCC at the end of October. Once more there was a hole in my heart. I've tried really hard to still celebrate because of my grandchildren but this year I just never could get in the Christmas spirit. I didn't really decorate and was STILL wrapping presents on Christmas Eve. My daughter and son-in-law need up separating the day after Thanksgiving so that has made this year very strained because it's not been amicable. So my grandkids are having to navigate through a war zone right now. Then my sister-in-law and brother-in-law got Covid so the usual Christmas Eve celebration with Jimmy's family was cancelled. To top it off, three of the grandkids and I came down with a horrible stomach bug Christmas Eve night so I barely made it through watching them open presents at my daughter's house before I went home and back to bed. I've also been ignoring a possible health issue and hoping it would magically go away 😂 which of course it hasn't. So I disclosed it to my family Friday and am taking steps to find out what exactly is going on. My daughter Skye told me that they've known something was wrong because I have not been myself so in trying NOT to worry them, I was worrying them anyway. So I apologize that I haven't been present much these last few weeks. ❤️Sharon Dixon

[bwpickard Caregiver]

Sharon am so very sorry for all you and your family are going through. Holidays have so much pressure with expectations so high and loss/illness magnify that more. It’s hard to find joy in the midst of sorrow. Will be praying for you. We both know not to postpone checking out medical concerns so glad you are doing!!! I find joy in knowing the hope of the season is there all year through. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[DancingEyes63 Moderator Caregiver in reply to bwpickard]

Thank you Bonnie. I told my best friend what was going on this afternoon and she chewed my butt out. Told me that I knew better than to ignore things and I'd better hope I didn't die because if I did Jimmy was gonna kick my butt. LOL. And you are so very right... I KNOW not to put things off that should be checked. I'm trying to rectify that but I picked a bad time of year to get anything done quickly. Which I also should know firsthand. Thank you for the prayers my friend. I'll keep you posted. Sharon ❤️

[Curly_Girl Caregiver]

That is all so much to deal with, not to mention your own health issues. I will keep you in my prayers, my sweet friend. 🙏❤️ Also, I am just now getting over that stomach bug (it got me on Dec 26) and it was the worst thing I've gone through in many, many years. Ugh!!

Sending all the good health vibes your way, and here's to a better 2025.

[DancingEyes63 Moderator Caregiver in reply to Curly_Girl]

Thank you Wendy. Yes that bug was awful,! I actually had some Zofran to take and it didn't help any. Luckily the only other one that's gotten it is the kids other grandma. They'd been at her house on Christmas Eve right before their symptoms started. I'll certainly take all the good vibes you can send. Love you girl! 💕 Sharon

[AndreaWilson_Founder Partner Editor Caregiver]

Aww hon, I hope you feel better. It's impossible to take care of everyone else unless you take care of yourself first. I think we inherent nurturers find that out the hard way. Much love to you.

~Andrea

[HZubair]

Hi Sharon,

thank you for sharing.

I've lost too many loved ones around the holidays. It just seems impossible to smile and wish the people around me "Happy Holidays", and "Happy New Year" when I am personally dealing with all this trauma around this time. To top it off, no one else remembers what we have been through. Another icing on the cake this year was that my cousin was diagnosed with mutant ApoB which has been linked to familial cases of heart disease. Till now I was afraid to get tested but I agree with you and others on the thread, we need to take care of ourselves first to be able to take care of others. Will seek help soon.

I do apologize if I overshared but, thank you for the opportunity.

Sending you love and good health vibes. Hope you have a better 2025!

[DancingEyes63 Moderator Caregiver]

Thank you so much. Never worry about over sharing here. This is the place to talk, ask questions, vent, whatever you need to do. I can relate because so many things others don't understand unless they have experienced the loss.