Haven't posted in ages

Haven't posted in ages

As everyone knows I'm a really happy person and like to make others happy,so all of my posts are positive,so I haven't been able to post,because I haven't been very happy,in fact I've been heartbroken, and nobody needs to listen to my whining.Im trying hard to be my usual positive me,but I'm failing miserably.I thought I'd been through every negative in life,so at 42 even though I was ill,it was my time for me to have peace in my life,and a chance to spend what time I have left with my family,but its all gone pear shaped.Ive been so miserable and nobody needs to put up with me,when they have their own battles,so I thought it best to avoid the forum,but I've missed you all.Love and hugs ๐Ÿ’•

49 Replies

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  • Welcome back! Please remember we are here for you though and please remember to feel free to complain to us. We can and will listen.

    Sorry you have been having such a tough time of it. We will be here for you as much as you want.

  • Aww thank you.I thought I could just spend the time I have left with my hubby and kids,we are all each other had,but people made sure that didn't happen,and I'm really struggling.I don't know what to do ๐Ÿ˜ข xxx

  • Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Like you i try to stay positive and always look on the bright side. I geneally keep away from people except for close family. I hope you can remain positive and get all the love and support from your loved ones and friends on this forum. Good luck for the future.

  • I only have my hubby and 14 year old son,I feel alone,my hubby is suffering too granted he's suffer less than me,so he says,but I don't want to keep offloading to him.Thanks for your reply โ˜บ

  • You are having a bad time this is when you need a listening ear ,that's what we are here for

    You take care

    Dorothy xxxx

  • Aww Dorothy I am just devastated,Ive cried for months and though it's starting to get easier,its still so painful.

    Thank you <3 xxx

  • hey gothmum, that's really sad and especially that you felt you couldn't talk about it because we wouldn't want to listen to your 'whining'. We all whine here at one time or another and this is the one place where you shouldn't have to feel you need to perform and be positive when you're not feeling it.

    Do you want to talk about it? What's gone pear shaped?? Or is it that you've been feeling miserable? - because that's more than enough to make the whole thing go totally pear shaped. I would think that thinking about and wanting peace in your life and a chance to spend what time you have left with your family would make you feel so absolutely, totally miserable and sad. That's something that at your age you shouldn't be needing to think about at all.

    That's a lovely photo of you with your family. How could you be anything other than heartbroken? Am just hoping nothing else has happened to make you feel like this because you have too much to try to deal with as it is.

    Can we help? Am glad that at least you're back - and you don't need to try to make us happy!!

    Love and hugs,

    Sue xxx

  • You're replies to other peoples' posts popped up while I was typing that so sorry that i seemed to be missing the point, which I think I was. Sue xxx

  • Don't apologise,im so grateful to you for being there.T thank you <3 xoxoxo

  • Some hurts go very deep. Sometimes just talking about them can help though. And we are all here waiting to help in any way we can. xx

  • Hello Gothmum, it's lovely to see you!๐Ÿ˜ I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch at the moment and I hope things start getting better soon,huff hugggzss xxx

  • Thank you,i really appreciate it.

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • Hello gothmum . I am so sorry to hear you're going through this tough time. I'm not very sure what has happened but it sounds terribly stressful. I hope you know that anyone is welcome to let off steam here. We should support each other as much as possible.

    I hope whatever has happened it will right itself soon.

    Sending love.

    Cas xx ๐Ÿ€

  • Thank you,Im so grateful for your support๐Ÿ’•

  • Dear lovely gothmum if you need to share your sadness or anything at all please feel free to do that.

    Sometimes life becomes just too much and you don't know where to turn. We are here for you always. Please remember that.

    Lovely to see you again. Xxxxx

  • Thank you so much.Ive always been a happy person,despite my childhood,but I just can't cope with this ๐Ÿ˜ข xoxo

  • Will pm you Tracey. X

  • REALLY sorry about what gone on. Keep strong and when your daughter re-contacts you again keep the lines of communication open but protect yourself as much as you can.

  • Thank you,Im still using your advice,Im guarding my heart

    Hugs Tracey๐Ÿ’•

  • Hello again Tracy so very sorry that things have got so bad I hope you have spoken to your doctor , lots of organisations out there that can help you

    You can rise above all this , I wish I could be with you and your husband he needs help too because he also must be suffering


  • My Dr is hopeless.My hubby struggles to deal with my emotions,i wear my heart on my sleeve and he is very deep,so it's difficult for us to understand each other.

    Love and hugs <3 xoxo

  • I keep replying but it won't accept it. Will keep trying.

    Sue xxx

  • my names Tracey โ˜บ.What happened was,I hadn't had contact with my parents for 7 years,after living a childhood and teen years being horribly abused,physically(I was beaten every day) emotionally(my self esteem was destroyed) children should be seen and not heard,and you speak when you're spoken to was my parents mantra.I was told I was worthless.I walked on eggshells trying not to anger my dad,who was an ex para,so he was very very tough.Him and my mum treated me horribly.So when I had my first daughter it was to get away from them,thought if I had my own family they'd treat me better,but they didn't.So I met my hubby 17 years ago,and he got me away from them and took my daughter as his own,and we had our son in 2001.My parents contacted my daughter when she was 15 and were sneaking around behind my back,eventually they told her to move in with them,and cut us off,and she did,and we didn't see her for 10 months.She eventually phoned and asked to come home.She was only home weeks and she was pregnant at 18.My hubby watched the baby,our gorgeous grandson Eli,until Mollie finished college to be a hairdresser,then when she got a job,my hubby was caring for me,and watching Eli.

    My mother got in touch with me and I stupidly let her back in my life,she said she'd never do what she'd done with Mollie behind my back,ever again.Then after a few weeks my mother couldn't give me answers about my abuse,so I told her I couldn't see her any more.I didn't know she was still seeing Mollie,they were sneaking about.When I found out not only was she seeing my parents but my unhinged junkie sister too,i asked her to make a choice between me and them,and she chose them.We haven't seen her and even sadder we haven't seen our wee grandson Eli since April.I am devastated.I told my hubby if I wasn't a Christian I'd go to dignitas and end it.Because of the stress I've been really ill,my gallbladder has been painful for 3 month s.

    Sorry if this is too much to read,i didn't know how to condense it.We don't have anyone else,its just the 3 of us.I cry ever day ๐Ÿ˜ข xxx

  • I just don't know what to do.My daughter won't come back,she has made that clear.Never seeing Eli again is killing me.Ive done nothing wrong,we bought everything for Eli,we watched him 5 days a week,including every Saturday for 2 years meaning my son Fin did without days out.I am devastated,and it's making my health just horrible.

    I deleted my posts because I freaked out,I didn't want to annoy anyone,I got scared,but I've put it back up.

    I don't know how long I have left,I didn't think I'd spend my time trying to cope with what's happening.

    Thank you for being there,you all don't know how much it means to me xxxx

  • I think we do know how much it means to you to have people listen and care Tracey.

    Sending love and hugs as always. Hope you find a way through this as you don't need the stress. Xxxx

  • Thank you,Im thrilled that they're back in my life,but I'm very guarded and don't trust 100% that I won't be hurt again.Its difficult.

    Hugs Tracey๐Ÿ’•

  • Something weird going on with this site at the moment, Tracey. It's probably groaning under the weight of my reply which it kept saying there wasn't anyone to post it to!?

    Keep your husband and your son close to you. I'm not surprised you have stress related problems or that you cry every day. You're trying to deal with such a lot and it's heartbreaking for you probably because you haven't seen Eli for so long.

    How can people abuse their children and treat them in this way?? I don't understand but it's taught you to be strong. You have to try to believe that Mollie will see sense and come back again, and that will mean you'll see Eli again.

    Please keep talking to us and tell us how things are. Pm any time you want if it would help.

    I'm going off to look in the back of wardrobes to try to find my magic wand and then look for batteries for it.

    Take care,

    Lots of love

    Sue xxx

  • I know Mollie won't come back,she hates us for keeping her away from her grandmother and grandad,go figure.M y sister is a junkie,crack cocaine,heroin,methadone,valium.You name it she's on it and selling it.Mollie got caught because when I phoned her Eli was shouting that he wanted to speak to aunty sheona(my sister) this sister who never had anything to do with Mollie,who couldn't be bothered with Mollie,and who is the modt horrible selfish person I've ever met.

    They have Eli now and they all loathe me,because I've spoken out about the abuse.

    I'm so heartbroken,i don't know how to go on.

    Thanks for posting I appreciate your help

    Love and hugs <3 xoxo

  • Got stuck in a wardrobe. No magic wands, but I think you know that already.

    There's so much good sense in what coughalot and Toci have said, Tracey. Don't cut yourself off from this site and all the people who want to support you and listen and help you to hang on to your strength.

    Hold on. Help your husband and son and let them help you. Tell us how things are soon.

    Love and hugs,

    Sue xxx

  • Sue your kindness is a beautiful thing and I'm grateful.We are seeing them again,but it's difficult,Im scared I'll get hurt.But I just need to get on with it

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • Oh dear Tracey what a mess and no wonder you are so upset. Anyone would be in this situation. I reckon Mollie will come to her senses one day and will realise what her grandparents are really like. I just hope it's soon.

    There's not much you can do about it I'm afraid, not if you want to keep your parents out of your life, and from what you have said this is the best thing for you even though you miss Mollie and little Eli so much.

    It would be best if you could concentrate on your husband and son and remember the positives in your life. Easier said than done I know. A big hug for you. Remember we are always here for you. Bev xx

  • You were so right,Mollies back in touch,but still seeing my parents which makes it all a bit messy.But I don't have any options

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • Just call me psychic bev :D x

  • Lol you can be psychic Bev and I can be psycho Tracey LMAO๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ’•

  • Much better than psychotic! lol x

  • Lmao ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ’• xoxoxo

  • It sounds to me as though your parents and sister are not people you would want around and that they have flattered and seduced your daughter into choosing them. But she isn't stupid, because you brought her up, and she will see through them at some point. Just hold on, stay secure with your hubby and realise that when she comes back she will need your strength. She will rely on you to pick up the pieces of her life and make things better because you are her mum. Hold on and wait for that day and meantime concentrate on your son, I don't think it will be too long in coming. xx

  • I'm seeing Mollie and Eli again,my compromise is that she's still seeing my family.I have no choice but to accept or I'll lose them.I keep praying she'll see through them,but they offer her stuff,like days out and things like that.T hank you for helping me

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • It's really good news. Ignore people who bring you down (leave it to karma) and concentrate on enjoying your daughter and grandchild. Much love and a hug. xx

  • Hi Tracey so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. Can't imagine how you must be feeling but we are all here to support each other. Life throws curved balls at us and just because are already dealt a duff hand with our health sadly does not make us immune to other trouble in life. If only it did as being really unwell is bad enough and understandably sometimes it all becomes to much and we cannot cope no matter how strong we are. You, your husband and son are the most important thing to focus on and they will be there for you. I have a 5 year old son so understand it's really hard when you are ill and don't know what the future holds but children give us a focus and the strength to carry on. Please feel to message me as I can offer a friendly listening ear anytime. Be strong and thinking of you. X

  • Sorry this is me just getting round to thanking you,its been a manic few weeks.But Mollie and Eli are back in our lives,the compromise being that Mollie is still seeing my family.I need to bite my tongue and enjoy time with Eli.Thanks for helping me,I really appreciate it

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • Your very welcome and we all need to lean onothers sometimes. Enjoy time with your family and do take care x

  • Hello Gothmum,

    This is just what we are here for......come on, just speak to us. Don't like to think that you are going through hell while we are all chatting away. You are part of a lovely little family who obviously mean the world to you. Whatever has happened, I sincerely hope it comes right for you. Don't stay away.


  • Thank you,its great to have somewhere safe to talk about this stuff.I appreciate your support and I'll be here if you ever need help.

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • Hi Tracey,

    I'm going to make a suggestion - it may not be right for you but it's the best I have. Why don't you write to your daughter and tell her that you and her dad will always love her and her son more than she could ever know and that they will always be welcome in your lives. Tell her that because of past hurts you have had to make decisions in your life that she may not understand but that your reason for making these decisions was to create the best life you could for your family, including her and her son. Tell her that you are not perfect but you have always tried to do what is right and necessary to create the loving environment that you all deserve. Finish by saying that you hope she and Eli will be part of your life again.

    When you have sent the letter, make peace with yourself, knowing that you have done your best. Concentrate on your son and husband until your daughter returns to you which hopefully she will feel able to do.

    Take Care,


  • Thank you for your post.s sorry I didn't thank you sooner.Lifes been a bit upside down and I've been so exhausted trying to deal with all of the emotions.

    Your advice was great and I appreciate it.Thankfully Mollie and Eli are back in our lives,but I'm very guarded.Im praying it all works out

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

  • So pleased for you Tracey. I hope everything works out.

    Look after yourself.


  • I get that, Hun.They all say I am a little ray of sunshine at work, and it's because we really can't be going about saying ...I am actually hanging on by a thread today!...Lot's of love..

  • Aww that's so spot on.My nerves have been frayed.Mollie and Eli are back in my life,but still seeing my horrible family,so I'm happy but guarded.I hope she sees through my family soon.

    Hugs Tracey ๐Ÿ’•

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