British Lung Foundation
34,261 members41,660 posts

the colostomy

"Im going to have to perform an emergency colostomy operation immediately "

the doctor told me

"Whats going to happen ?" I asked .

"It isn't pleasant !! , i,ll have to remove part of your colon, and divert the rest of it to a hole in your side from which you will excrete into a bag for the rest of your life",

"Is there an alternative " i pleaded....

"YES, !!,,,, you can stop seeing my wife " :D :D

love jimmy xxx :)

33 Replies
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Hi jimmy, see we are both back. I like your joke, made me laugh. Love Mx

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lets hope were both back on track now Mx :) lovely to hear from you

love jimmy xxx :)

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Nice to see you again too scorpiolass. xxx

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thanks sass, nice to see Mx too ,, love jimmy xxx :)

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thanks Mx. yes, were both here to fight another day :) love jimmy xxx :)

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Hi Jimmy - how my favourite Scot? Nice to see you back chuck you have been missed. Like the joke :) xx

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ha ha,,, just remember next years new year party,, and my invite :D

love jimmy xxx :)

still not right [don't answer that :D ]

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Well.... I guess you can do the bar again, but only if you behave yourself this time! No more chucking scotch at Huggs and Sassy as they are VIP's :) :) xx

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och ok then seeing you insist :D i,ll do the bar again this coming year,,[i thought i was a vip,, so im just a commoner now :D ] but not the year after, somebody else's turn then :D welle have a chucking haggis competition [hope i spelt/said that right :D ],,, just leave my wee pals, huggs and sassy out of it,

ha ha,, love jimmy xxx :)

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Aw Jimmy for that you have been upgraded to a VIP again :) Eyes for that terrible spider post has been relegated to the bar now (if she is invited at all) :d xx

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oh Thanks cough,, VIP jimmy again :D

poor eyes, been thrown out :D i,ll bar her from the bar :D [now i'm a VIP :D ]

what was her spider post,? i'm behind with everything, i,ll need to see it,, ha ha jimmy xx :)

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And did you stop Jimmy :) :) :)

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off course not dall,,,, ready for anything ha ha,,, well nearly?? :D

glad to hear from you dall,, jimmy :)

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Which option are you going for Jimmy?

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yes you've guessed it rib :D :D

saying nothing until i see my lawyer :D

hope your well rib,, all the very best jimmy :)

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Chuckling, good to see you back Jimmy :-) xxx

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nice to see you lyn,, hope all is well

love jimmy xxx :)

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I'm ok thanks Jimmy :-) xxx

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:) :) jimmy xx :)

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Glad to see the wit hasn't diminished one little bit Jimmy. Super joke. Keep 'em coming!

Sara xxxx

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did you say wit !!! thought for a minute you spelt that wrong :D [your shocking sara :D :D ]

love jimmy xxx :)

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Very funny jimmy and good to have you back. xxx :) :)

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thanks sass, hope things are well with you,,

love jimmy xx :)

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Cool joke jimmy. Glad you're back. My dad had a colostomy op when i was a teenager. We didn't have the kind of relationship where i could ask about it but i used to spend a lot of time covertly looking to see where a bulge might be. Never worked it out though.

:D

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hi 02,, now your not going to believe this,, lucky white heather jimmy :D

Now i don't know quite how to put this [ but the doctor most certainly did :D ]

not so long ago i had a colonoscopy, the camera went up,:D the machine broke down !!!! :D with camera inside me !!!with docs fiddling with switches,and knobs etc,,, the doctor then had the cheek [ha ha the cheek , just got that myself :D ]

to say to me,, "you can see it on that screen while we fix it :D " ,, at that stage that was the last thing i wanted to see,,, and it nearly was :D :D

absolutely true.. jimmy :D

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That's a crappy joke young Jimmy! ..... great to see you though 😉😉😉😘

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brilliant peege :D :D better than the joke :D

its a good job we can laugh at times ,,,

all the very best,,, jimmy :D

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Ha ha! That's wicked. Ha ha!

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ha ha thanks mav.. all the best jimmy :)

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Great to have you back Jimmy - and your jokes.........love that one! :-D Take care. XXX

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great to see you niky,, :D you take good care now... keep the jokes coming,,,its the only thing i can survive on now :D :D [its the best medicine lol xx :D ]

love jimmy xxx :)

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Hi jimmy just found this one I like it, very unexpected reply from the doctor. How are you pal holding on on there I hope, I had a trip to the hospital for a couple of days at the end of last month so they could go in and play with my right lung will go again at some point for the same on the left, rather pleased there isn't a third one. Keep smiling speak again later, all the best Fred. :) ;)

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ah glad to hear from you fred old pal :) , i know you were going through a rough time fred, i hope you feel better by now.

i don't know how you do it fred but you are such a brilliant light on this forum

best of luck to you my friend ,and as you say :D

keep smiling :)

all the very best fred,, jimmy :)

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