Joke of the Day

I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S EGG & CHIPS TONIGHT,

BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,

BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES

BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MANY E-MAILS .......

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. I JUST DID.

Live well, Laugh often, &

Love with all of your heart!

Subject: FW: Billy Bob and Cletus

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the

door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an

old green John Deere .

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first

the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his

shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall

down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt . Then, grabbing

both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt

underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and

hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck are you doing,

Billy Bob?"

"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously

embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me'n the Ol' Lady been havin' trouble lately in

the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do 'something sexy to

a tractor'."

[Don't make me come 'splain this to you! ---Read the last line again,

slowly--out loud.]

7 Replies

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  • Ha ha that's cheered me up and I got the tractor one first time....my brain must be getting better at least! Keep them coming...thanks

  • Haha, that second one was hilarious. :D

  • HaHa,enjoyed them all! Txs,xxx

  • Made my day! Got me thinking, and then laughing. Thanks Berwick.

  • laughed right away berwick,, great stuff lol jw

  • lovely thank you especially re how lucky we really are - thanks xx

  • Was the music playing too.....

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