I was in hospital just before Christmas and have been told I have unstable angina. This was a shock to me as never had any real problems before. I'm 71 years old.I'm slowly learning what I can and can't do. Awaiting an angiogram, but most likely will be in the spring.
What I am having problems coping with is fear. Firstly it was fear of the pain returning, then fear of dying or being incapacitated. Now I'm just worried all the time that I'm doing something wrong and will make matters worse.
Have others had these dark feelings and do they usually ease over time ? Is it just that I am having to face up the fact that I am not as immortal as I thought I was.
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Grannymary
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Anxiety will make things worse but is quite understandable.
Presumably you have been put on medication but your treatment can't really start until your angiogram identifies what is wrong and what needs to be done.
Without being aggressive to the Hospital its worth making regular contact as the process of testing you is not always smooth and your appt needs could be forgotten.
Worth saying to them that you could take a cancelled appointment. Good luck but keep up the polite pressure.
Thank you for replying. I am trying not to be anxious, but . . .I will try contacting the hospital. when I was discharged I had no contact details to refer to, but I had a 24 hour heart monitor last week so now have a name and phone number.
I think you’ve nailed it Grannymary, the shock and realisation of our immortality. I had an nstemi heart attack and quadruple bypass ages 61 , totally out of the blue , was fit and strong ( on the outside) a lifetime of sports and training and physically fit at the time. I cried like a baby a couple of times while in hospital. The whole shock of it . The medical staff explained everything and always asked if I understood what was happening. I said , I understand perfectly , I don’t understand how it’s happened.
I also believe that I had a touch of PTSD post event and surgery. I very much realised I’d had a rebirth ! An opportunity. A few small lifestyle changes and I’m so grateful . It was a huge physical trauma to recover from , my scars remind me every day. The mental side maybe the harder element to recover from. I kept myself busy with future goals , achieved most of them and keep the list going . Living life to the full, knowing what’s important and a priority. “We have two lives; the second begins when we realise we only have one.” Confucius. That resonated with me. Plenty of life ahead for us Grannymary. Keep us updated 👊🏻❤️
Thank you for this, I realise my problems are small compared to other's experiences but it was a shock to me.I confess to being unfit and overweight so should have been more realistic but hiding the truth from ourselves is too easy.
I will try to look forward to life again, and hopefully start to make plans.
Grannymary, for a moment I thought you were talking about me when I was first diagnosed with A.Fib! These feelings will gradually subside, although it will take some time, as you gradually accustom yourself to your situation. Speak to your GP. Check what medication can help, and don't be ashamed or embarrassed about these feelings, they are 100% normal.
Thank you for replying I am trying to take things slowly and see what I can achieve. I am indeed lucky to have had a wake up alert and will try to look at the positive points.
The initial massive shock does subside somewhat, I keep remembering that I am exactly the same as I was two weeks before my severe CAD diagnosis at the beginning of Jan. I also keep remembering that I found out about this without having a heart attack and that someone in the NHS is on my side to prevent me having a heart attack.
I went from "not sure that I should be out of breath" through "check up at the urgent coronary care clinic", "angiogram with no hope results" to "don't worry, we will get you in urgently, fix all the problems and you shouldn't need anything else for 15 - 20 years". I had an (unexpected) letter today to say that I need another echocardiogram before surgery, so things are moving on.
My point is, we (you and I) are still ticking along. We need some attention but that is happening in the background. The plan is that we get fixed asap, with the minimum of anxiety from anywhere else.
ps, I am not too overweight (BMI was mid range), I don't regret the e.g. kebabs and lack of strenuous exercise but we are where we are and I have enjoyed most of life so far and am improving my diet (not had a kebab or pint of milk since before Chrsitmas)
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