stress advice

[Stressed2025]

Hello everyone. I’m currently off work sick with stress. I’ve felt stressed for quite a long time now but recently it seems to have got worse and I’m now suffering with regular headaches. My GP took my blood pressure and said it was high. I’m now monitoring it at home for the next week. I think it has been caused by the constant fight or flight mode I am in due to stress. Can anyone offer any advice on how to deal with stress? I seem to let everyday things get to me more than other people do so I think it’s a me problem more than a situation problem. I think if I can learn how to cope with the feelings of stress or ideally avoid them altogether then I’ll be ok. Any advice greatly appreciated.

[Bluecat223]

I listen to zen and meditation music on amazon music or Spotify it's really helped me with my anxiety since having my heart attack and 5 arrests 4 weeks ago

[SlothOnSpeed]

Hi Stressed2025, I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. If this is a longstanding problem you will need to confront this on more than one front, so to speak.

To be honest, sitting at home thinking about your stress is completely counterproductive. Use this time to make a plan.

The most obvious answer is to see a good therapist. I have no idea what your financial situation is. Getting a competent therapist is sometimes easier said than done.

Basic CBT can be helpful even though I prefer psychodynamic approaches. I find the Narrative approach align with how I see the world. Do a bit of research on the person you intend to see. Most have extensive bios on their web page. I acknowledge that this is impossible if you do not go private.

In the mean time, try to have at least some fun every day. Watching something fun. You know what you find funny.

There are numerous resources online until you find someone in person.

I’m sure the people on this forum will give good advice.

Good luck and take care.

[Anomie]

Hi I wish there was a magic bullet for relieving stress. I was off work with stress a few years ago and have tried a variety of things some worked some did not. Personally I am still quite fit in spite of recently diagnosed AF and long term asthma, and for me walking is the best release from stress. Try whatever is suggested and you will find some release

[Cabgx2]

I was off work in November to January with Anxiety.. What worked for we was Counselling, headspace, fasting 16x8 and Vitamin D because I was low on vitamin d Borderline low/normal.

[Knavesmire27]

Hi, it's a horrible feeling, I know the feeling too well 🫤. I use Martin Burridge on You Tube. He has some excellent videos and self help tutorials. Not sure if you have tried NHS Talking Therapies. It is a free service. There can be a bit of a wait but it is worth it as you get to interact with a qualified therapist. Please know you are not alone. Take care

[Andyman]

Mindfulness. Take a course. You will find fellow sufferers there also. And will leave with the tools needed to cope.Maybe also get a series of appointments with a counsellor and talk it out with them. It really helps.

[ArthurPrecarious]

Many years ago I did a workplace course about stress. The best thing they said was that stress is caused by two things:

1. The need to control everything.

2. The desire to be liked.

Once you realise that you CAN’T actually do either of those things and try to accept it you are on your way to tackling it.

It works for me.

[stevetheadi]

No instant solutions to stress sadly (I get easily stressed and anxious, especially since my CABG) but I found meditation every day for ten minutes or so really helped.

calm.com

[Flutterfly67]

My daughter found me the Restless website. It's all different zoom events, I've been to the botanical gardens in Singapore, toured Peru and learnt about the American Election process, very interesting. At the moment I'm doing a course on compassion and being kind to yourself. Chair yoga is on Tuesday and a taster to learn the Chinese language. There is a free bit then I pay £6.99 or you can pay for sessions as you go. Stress is horrible, take care. Oh and you don't have to have the camera on if you don't want to.

[greenfingers in reply to Flutterfly67]

Could you give me the full website name please.

[AngedeLac]

As mentioned by Knavesmire27 above, I would also recommend the NHS Talking Therapies. My Cardiac Rehab team arranged this for me.

[mozart27]

You say your BP is high and you talk about fight or flight mode. It is possible that Propranolol might help. It's a very old fashioned beta blocker which works for me in controlling both my BP and an anxiety induced hand tremor. Other than this, there are lots of talking therapies. Also, I was reading a review of a book recently by a psychologist and musician who was writing about music as medicine. Why not try producing your own play list of favourite music planned to relax you. This is something I am working on.

[WoodlandLover]

I have a friend who suffered from this and was given medication she was determined to let go of. She transformed her life with Transcendental Meditation, a practice undertaken twice a day for 20 minutes each time. I don't know if it would resonate for you or not, but this is a link to it, below. It is our mind that generates stress, but we all have a deep space within, a centre of peace, behind the mind. We can reach it in a deep sleep state sometimes, but also wilfully when awake. Eventually! Walking in nature helps a lot, around water, and observing the birds and wildlife. Allow yourself intentional time to try this? Watch the kind of TV that you enjoy. Books are an unlimited source of relaxation.

Don't velcro yourself to the external news of this heaving world, it's in constant change and upheaval. Let it be. We can't change the world by worrying about it, but we can begin to change ourselves by finding even a little shaft of peace, and developing it. Whatever lifts us out of our minds begins to bring peace, and we can start small, and grow that. Lots of good wishes! tm.org/en-gb

[maggie80]

Hi, hope you feel better soon. You need to blow the cobwebs away. Maybe, go for a walk, if you live near the sea that would be lovely. If you have a bike, when the weather gets better enjoy a bike ride. What about Yoga Classes, there could be people feeling the same as you. How about calling for a coffee at a garden center. Take Care. xx

[JH6419]

I really feel for you as I have suffered from stress and anxiety on and off over the last 25 years. I would recommend that you try and get therapy but ultimately it comes down to you.

Take good care of yourself, as maggie80 says, try go for a daily walk to get some exercise and fresh air. Yoga would be great as well. Eat properly, avoid smoking, drinking alcohol and anything else you know you shouldn't be having. I know it sounds corny but try and get in touch with nature. I have a dog and that makes me walk her every day - we are lucky to have woods near to us that I can walk to so I go for walks there.

Also I have started to enjoy taking pictures and this year I am trying to post one picture a day of our walks on my Instagram account - I have attached the photo from yesterday.

I have learnt, and it took me a long time, that worry is a wasted emotion as it will change nothing. Rather live for each day and don't worry about tomorrow. Sorry not trying to sound patronising but these things worked for me and still work. I still do have some tough days but they are outweighed by the good days that I have

I hope this helps and let us know how you get on - we are all here to support you - it is great that you have reached out to this forum which is a really good step forwards

Walk in the woods

[Richie34]

Hi, I suffer with stress too,I can tell you it's a self fulfilling prophecy, the more you're self aware of it and worry about how to fight it the worse it becomes. I tried a Anxiety UK course of 6 online sessions which was helpful (if you put things into practice ,which I'll admit I'm bad at). Stress can consume you butnI've found it is cyclical and for me a simple walk and or exercise helps as does going to bed a decent and regular time too.

[Pepperthedog]

Dear Stressed2025

I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. You've not said much about your situation, so it's hard to know whether your stress is caused primarily by internal or external factors. External ones are the easiest to identify: work - a bad manager, an over-demanding organisation, lack of satisfying work opportunities, lack of a job itself; interpersonal - stresses or losses within the family or with friends; environmental - low income, poor housing, bad neighbours, etc; and circumstantial - a car accident, a burglary, etc. You can probably think of others. Whatever it is, try to enlist help in solving any outstanding problems.

Internal factors often stem from our upbringing, personality, strengths and vulnerabilities, so are harder to identify. Are you usually a confident person who feels in charge of your life (at least to the extent any of us can in this complicated world)? Or do you have low self-esteem, doubt yourself, or fear being judged by others? And if the latter, is this new or something you've grappled with for a long time?

In between are circumstantial things like poor health. This is stressful for anyone, and especially for us, in this particular club - our vital organs are what keep us going. Learning to manage the complicated feelings they raise is vital for well-being; and essential to this is to look at ourselves more closely.

Is your feeling of being stressed new or long-standing? Bear in mind such feelings are extremely common these days, to the point of being normalised, as in "we've all got 'em". And we all need useful coping strategies to manage them. One of the most useful strategies is talking about how we feel and what's bothering us.

Do you have a relative or friend you can share your feelings with, someone you trust to listen carefully, ask relevant questions and give you caring, honest feedback? If not, it's worth having some counselling sessions. Your GP can refer you for a short course of counselling on the NHS, or if you can afford it you can find someone yourself. If you go down this route, do some research on local counsellors' reputation, or ask a knowledgeable friend to recommend someone good - there are better and not-so-good people out there. If you can't afford individual counselling, there may be a local charity that can help. Alternatively, you could consider in-person or online group counselling through organisations like MIND and others.

I hope you're able to find some relief from these painful feelings. The suggestions from other members, of meditation, mindfulness, or therapy, are all useful strategies, too. I find it helpful to write down my feelings - get them out there! And thinking about - and writing down - the positives in our lives can help to stop the downward spiral that leads deeper into depression. Best of luck, Stressed!

[L8Again]

This may or may not be relevant. The feeling of ‘flight or fight’ is usually caused by adrenaline release. A few years ago, my wife went to her GP complaining of fatigue and, on awakening, extreme anxiety which came and went during the course of the day. The GP tested for the usual things but could find nothing awry.

Eventually, she was referred to an endocrinologist who asked for two by 24 hour urine tests. These tests revealed a raised level of metadrenaline. She was then referred to a tertiary hospital for a MBIG scan which detected a small tumour on her left adrenal gland (a pheochromocytoma). The adrenal gland was removed with keyhole surgery.

Pheochromocytomas are extremely rare. My wife’s surgeon was of the opinion that many peochromocyomas are never diagnosed. She did say though that patients often present with a variety of symptoms that can point clinicians towards other conditions.

[Bagrat in reply to L8Again]

I am interested to read this as probably 15 yrs ago at least ,I was tested for phaeochromocytoma. This was blood tests and a 3 day urine collection. Nothing found though I still get the odd day or two when I feel dreadful nausea, anxiety and just awful plus occasional shakes. Since then always put down to anxiety

[Qualipop]

learn some relaxation exercises; lots online. Just ignore those that want you to pay.

[Suebedoo]

I explain to my clients that when you go into fight flight mode and stress develops to think that an alarm bell is going off on top of your head. There is no point in thinking logically until the alarm bell is turned off. To turn the alarm bell off you need to use movement to mimic fight flight mode. This can be doing anything where your hands are also active such as knitting, gardening, baking, etc. One method though that my clients find particularly useful is attention training. To train our brains that we can turn down that internal conversation we can do the following. Find a piece of music that you like. Listen to the track, then rewind it but this time really try to focus just on the keyboard, rewind it and just try to listen to the vocals and so on. This is quite hard to do and really switches how your brain processes things. You need to do it a few times a day to get the benefit and then when stress levels rise it becomes easier to turn down the volume and switch that alarm off.

[daguero]

I recommend ‘Self Help for Your Nerves’ by Dr Claire Weekes.

[Bagrat]

I use the mindfulness app nearly every morning, also various YouTube relaxation videos. I have just signed up for nhs talking therapies,though appreciate there may be a wait. The thing that helped me a lot was telling friends and colleagues about my stress/anxiety. I have always been labelled "a coper" and the go to person in a crisis so shedding that cloak has helped

[Choccie55]

I self referred online to NHS Talking Therapies who recommended a CBT based mindfulness course which was very helpful.