Change of mood

[NotFromRoundHere]

My partner (57) survived a cardiac arrest two days ago and the hospital is recommending an ICD and possible stent/s subject to an MRI and angiogram. I am anxious and concerned about everything but partner seems detached and disinterested and doesn’t seem to understand what is being said to him. Or indeed remember what has been said. Obviously all the medical attention is focussed rightly on his heart but should I be asking for a brain scan too? Is this slightly forgetful and other worldly attitude temporary or longer term? Is it part of the natural trauma response? I would appreciate any views as this is all new to me/us and pretty scary.

[Lowerfield_no_more]

It is highly likely your partner has become detached from his situation, since he has, after all, suffered a major trauma and it will have knocked him back, just as it has, no doubt, done the same to yourself. It may only take a little time before he comes back to 'normal', although it may not, based on the experiences of members who have posted on here following similar events, so it seems to be an entirely personal matter. Otherwise I am sure that your partner's medical team are all working in his best interests and have a suitable plan for further investigations and treatment, but it is equally important that they explain that to him so that he understands what the plan is and why it is necessary. I am not sure what arrangements he and you have with the medical team for passing on this plan but it would seem to be important that someone is there to receive this information in addition to your partner so there is no confusion given his current state of mind, unless you already have this in place. However as far as asking for additional investigations, unfortunately no one on here should be able to comment on that because we have no detailed knowledge of his medical condition and history and are not qualified to advise on that, so I can only suggest again that you rely on the experience and professionalism of the medical team who have him under their care, given that although this will be a new experience for both of you, they will have likely seen this before, perhaps many times, and therefore know what to do. I hope all goes well for you both.

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Lowerfield_no_more]

Thank you, this has been very helpful. I really appreciate your calm words.

[andy110519]

Hi, memory problems are common after a cardiac arrest and from what I've read generally do improve, my memory hasn't been the same since mine. The severity seems to depend on a number of factors including the length of time the heart wasn't beating.Have a look at the Sudden Cardiac Arrest UK website. There is a lot of information there based on survivors stories and recent research and there is also a Facebook group.

Take care.

Andy

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to andy110519]

Thank you, I guess it is early days and a bit of patience on my part is needed.

[Driver11]

We all cope differently I was in a coma for 2 weeks and couldn't fo anything when I came round

It took some time to be able to walk talk etc

The icd is a great insurance policy and you get used to having it

Good luck it will be fine

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Driver11]

Thanks, it definitely sounds like a good idea.

[Shazzy46]

I would have a quiet word with the consultant.

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Shazzy46]

Yes, I will try to do that, I am sure they know what they are doing and what is going on with him, it is me who is anxious and frankly clueless. Thank you.

[Desktop54]

I would agree with what others have said, we all cope differently. Also, its not a straight line, we have good days and bad days. I should also add that i am on here because of my Other Half so I can see things from your point of view and I can say from experience, it can be very difficult for family members as well. Sometimes more so because you feel so helpless. My advice is, take a breath, its early days. Your medical team seem to be on top of things. My other half is 3 years post HA with HF and although I have got a lot better (I hope) I still worry and hover. This site is a great resource. I must have posted a million times (ok slight exaggeration) in the first 3 months. It helped a lot. best wishes to you both.

[NotFromRoundHere]

thanks, what you says resonates with me so much. Really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond, this site feels like a great resource. I hope your partner goes from strength to strength.

[Landrovergirl]

I agree with others who have posted. Your experience is similar to mine - my partner had a heart attack out of the blue while he was out getting his paper. The first I knew was a call from the paramedic in the ambulance while en route to CCU where he had 3 stents fitted. About 3 days after admission, the staff asked me if he is sometimes a bit confused, as he didn't seem to know what was going on around him, and I was really worried that maybe he had had a stroke as well as the HA. After another few days, however, he was a lot more lucid. We are 7 months on from there and his mental faculties are completely back to normal. Your partner has had a terrifying experience and is living through severe trauma and is probably struggling to process what has happened to him. He is probably also on a cocktail of drugs, and they take their toll, too. It's hard to watch and so worrying for you. Make sure you look after yourself as he will need you to be strong for him when he gets home. Best wishes to you both.

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Landrovergirl]

Thank you, that does sound very similar to his experience too. I am so glad that your partner is back to normal. One day at a time I guess. Appreciate you sharing your story, it really helps

[Lezzers]

Hi

Brain scans after a cardiac arrest are not routine unless theres a reason for it, such as non responsive, no pupil reaction, serious brain damage suspected, etc.

It's not unusual for someone who's had a cardiac arrest to be confused, not in the room etc, I can't tell you the amount of times my husband asked me what happened and I explained over & over again , only for him to ask me again just a few minutes later.

What your partner is experiencing is very usual, gradually over time this should improve though he may continue to have memory issues, which can be frustrating for you but even more frustrating for him.

My husband didn't have a brain scan till nearly 20 years after his CA as his memory was deteriorating. He was advised that brain training can help, crossword puzzles, sudoku, etc anything that makes the brain work a bit harder.

Speak to the cardiologist, I'm sure they'll explain this is very usual. Also, someone has mentioned the sudden cardiac arrest UK charity, I highly recommend joining their FB group for support, the link is below. Good luck 🍀

facebook.com/groups/SuddenC...

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Lezzers]

Thank you, I have been really reassured by all the comments and having raised with his consultant they have also said it is perfectly normal at this early stage of his recovery . Your comments are much appreciated.

[Lezzers in reply to NotFromRoundHere]

I'm pleased to hear the comments are helping you. Your partner being awake & lucid, albeit not his usual self, just 2 days after the event means he's doing incredibly well. A lot of people, my husband included, are put into an induced coma whilst they're on life support to help their bodies recover, my husband was in a coma for 3/4 days and then his life support was gradually reduced down.

This is a very stressful time for you both, it's bewildering and scary. Your partner is, & will be, very well looked after, remember to also look after yourself.

Take care

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Lezzers]

Thanks, your comments and everyone else’s are really helping me to gain a sense of perspective. And he is doing very well under excellent medical care.

[Qualipop]

Do make certain the doctors and nurses know that the way he is acting is NOT normal for him, after all they don't know him, they have no idea what he was like before.

[Andyman]

Don't take this the wrong way but he won't need to see you in a panic. Be very calm around him. He has been though a life altering situation and will be in a very delicate condition mentally. Just be you. Don't smother him either. Carry on as normal. After mine I was diagnosed with PTSD and need the help of counselling.

Don't expect him to be the same as he was before. It took me over a year to stop feeling feeble and a victim inside. When I look back I was quite pathetic really.

But be there for him . He won't want you firing a thousand questions at him. He's just trying to cope with being alive when he thought it was all over. And thinking why me.

Sorry if that's upsetting but it's how it is for him probably.

[NotFromRoundHere in reply to Andyman]

Thanks, good advice.

[Oatybiscuits]

hello, my husband had 2 cardiac arrests a week apart post mitral valve surgery during the pandemic. He was fitted with an ICD. I had to support him via FaceTime and phone calls as we were not permitted into the hospital.

My husband experienced confusion at what had happened and what his future would be. He was overwhelmed when the medical team said they wouldn’t move him back to our cottage hospital ( due to our remote location we live 250 miles from the heart hospital) until he had an ICD.

He had it fitted and was eventually moved closer to home.

He was mentally and physically exhausted, sometimes chatting with my husband I felt he wasn’t following what I said so I would phone the ward nurse afterwards and express my concerns. I also spoke with the consultants via the phone. 4 yrs on my husband has little recollection of what happened during his 24 day in hospital and asks me to remind him.

It’s still very early days for you and your husband, you will approach what has happened and his road to recovery in different ways - counselling is available as a couple or individually.

View an ICD as a positive, your husbands personal insurance device which in time you forget about.

Ask questions , raise concerns, just sit with each other and talk about other things, good luck and best wishes

[NotFromRoundHere]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I am so sorry for what you and your husband have had to deal with and thanks for the good wishes. I will view the ICD as the insurance policy that you and others on here have suggested it is.