I’m 6 months today since my heart bypass and after feeling super positive and happy I was still here ,I now seem to have spiraled into feeling really down and questioning every decision I have made in life. I’m really struggling to cope and it seems that everyone just expects me to still be the person I was, but I don’t feel I am me anymore. I can’t look in the mirror cos the scar really upsets me.
I don’t want to go to gp as they will just put me on antidepressants, which cause weight gain putting strain on my heart. I feel like no one understands and everyone keeps saying I’m lucky to have survived, but I don’t feel lucky
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Ruf56
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I didn't have surgery but I had a stemi & a cardiac arrest at the end of may , I don't feel the same anymore either . It was said to me regularly that I'm very lucky & should be grateful, but we are allowed to feel other things aswell in my opinion! My heart has done nothing but mess around ever since , sent to a&e all the time . If things would settle I'd maybe stand more of a chance of getting over what's happened. I hope you can get past this ❤️
Very similar, found that all the nuances of coping with the medication, vulnerability to illnesses (had 8 weeks of colds and infections) and began questioning things and over thinking everything. Hot flushes which I could not find any information about. Easy to get into a spiral. I did go to the doctors and took advice from a surgeon, and without making light of it, this was life going forward and natural. Anxiety, worry and a bit of paranoia are just normal reactions to everything which has gone on. I did joke with the surgeon I just need to grow a pair and get on with it, and to a degree the answer was yes. That simple conversation lifted me out of the spiral. Hope you can find some comfort in this, like yourself I am a positive person and got the majority of my bounce back.
FWIW, antidepressants really helped me. A decade before my heart surgery I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and I've been on escitalopram and lamotrigine ever since. They have immeasurably improved my quality of life.
Like everyone, I still hit some potholes post-OHS, but I'm hoping for some smoother tarmac to come....
Hi. I had a similar experience 12 months after my ‘out of the blue’ bypass in 2021. I am a 3/4 glass full person normally. Very positive and quite carefree and happy. I just felt really sad and had no interest in life. I paid to have some weekly sessions with a fantastic therapist and that worked for me. I also found this forum incredibly helpful knowing that what was happening to me is quite normal, just like you are finding out.
Don’t underestimate what you have been through. It’s a massive operation even though it’s relatively common now. I think we wear our coping coats while we are going through these procedures and physically heal but our minds seem to lag behind in this process.
I had triple bypass Feb 23 and the mental recovery took much longer than the physical. Apparently that is quite usual, eighteen months on I really feel my much younger self is bouncing back. Stick with the gentle physical recovery and the mental will follow eventually.
The mental and anxiety problem is often very apparent here and is as big a factor as physical health, but is often ignored by the medics or they over react by offering anti depressants..
Are you just drifting along feeling that you can never be the same again so have put up a barrier between before and after?
You are the same person but perhaps need to kickstart yourself and set some new objectives.
Perhaps there is some country you have always wanted to go to? Why not plan for that? Or a new activity from Skiing to yoga. Or a new job? Or to move to a new town . Or to lose weight and get fit. Join a club of some sort? learn a language?
This is a mournful time of the year and its easy to be introspective and semi hibernate which will make things worse. So make those New You resolutions straight away so you start looking forward to the future and not back to a different past.
HiAfter my cardiac arrest and subsequent OHS I struggled at times mentally and via my GP and mental health I started using the Sorted app. It is like a simple meditation, in my opinion, and it worked for me. I'm struggling a bit at the moment, 5 years on, and I've started using it again.
What you’re going through is normal. First you’re happy to be alive. Then you are mourning the old you who is gone, and you’re having to get used to the new you. Having a heart attack brings home our mortality and it sits in our minds in a way that other people won’t understand. It takes time, maybe another 6-12 months, before you get used to it. You’ll be ok.
My cardiac team told me to expect ups and downs during the by pass recovery ( which I would say was about a year). It could also be the statins affecting your personality. Also take into consideration the time of year, you might subconsciously be thinking you dont have enough physical energy right now to cope with Christmas. Stay cool and keep going forward.
yes when the hard fight back is over you do have to get on with your life and it can be depressing and stressful but believe me it will get better in time . I used to cry my eyes out in the bathroom when I saw my scar in the early days but now I just feel I am scarred for life and I’m grateful to be here with my family. Try Tai Chi I found it to be very helpful for both body and mind x
apologies chubby finger problems I haven’t had I the same bypass but had 5 stents in April in 3 different arteries I have also had further surgery on a blocked artery in my leg this week and sometimes it’s incredibly hard to stay positive. As others have said don’t underestimate what you have been through physically and mentally. I have always been a socially outgoing positive person but have found the last 6 months incredibly challenging. I know it’s changed me as a person and you need time to come to terms with that. I have very little time for time wasting and things that frustrate me. I haven’t gone for anti depressants mainly because I have an incredibly supportive partner and group of friends. They don’t necessarily understand how I feel but just talking to someone I have found helpful. Other than that don’t punish yourself, yes be grateful you are still here but give yourself time and find ways to reflect when you feel it is helpful and things to distract when the over thinking becomes less helpful. I wish you well and don’t be frightened to reach out to support services whilst the cardiology team can heal the physical there are others who can help with the mind
was told it would take on average two years for body and mind to recover fully. Haven’t had your struggles yet but very aware 9 months after ohs it could still happen. Work has been my saving (and holidays).
Worst part for me is the regular upset stomachs and frozen shoulder that seem to rule my life.
Seek help, you can choose whether to take medication offered or not. Can you contact your cardiac nurse rather than GP?
Frozen shoulder is awful , very painful so I hope it improves soon for you .
What is it with the regular upset stomachs, I’ve had the same and it sounds such a minor thing but so annoying to live with , wonder if it’s the medication.
Hope your enjoying this lovely half term weather x
I’m doing okay thank you , enjoying the cardiac rehabilitation walking every day and looking forward to getting back to my first swim today.
I’ve not gone back to working as (it may all be in the mind) but I still feel unpredictable, will I have wobbly days or feel light headed etc but I’m enjoying getting to normality bit by bit .
I don’t think the stomach issue is age as it started pretty much when I started the medications but as you say it can take over .
Enjoy your last few days if half term, I love the autumn season 🍁x
Both beta blockers and aspirin can be hard on the stomach. They usually prescribe a PPI (lansoprazole seems to be the most common) to go along with.
I was already on famotidine for GERD from a hiatus hernia, so they didn't bother with a PPI. I don't have any issues (though I'm only on 1.25mg bisoprolol).
Thank you, I’ve been on bisoperol since I was diagnosed going from 5mg to 2.5 so worth checking . After ending up in hospital with E Coli I’ve learnt it’s best not to ignore things 😂
Frozen shoulder 😫😫😫It’s a vile condition and so so so painful. You have my sympathy . It took me a long time to recover. Far longer than it took to recover from my bypass. Steroid injection finally worked for me but after OHS don’t know how that works. I found the Facebook Frozen shoulder group helped me even if it was sometimes just a shoulder to cry on.
Thank you for sharing. I have to say that it seems ridiculous to admit that frozen shoulder and dodgy stomach have caused me more angst post surgery than anything else. X
Interesting that you say about frozen shoulder. The day before I was leaving hospital,13 days post op, I woke up with this awful pain in my left shoulder, felt like it was behind my shoulder blade. The nurses and Drs went into panic mode for a bit but once they decide my heart was ok they gave me some morphine and left me to it. I had this for over a week, far more painful than the operation, I had emergency aortic valve replacement, and when my shoulder settled down I had upset stomach for a fortnight. This really slowed down my recovery but start of week 5 post op all of a sudden I feel so much better. Now my shoulder has recovered and my stomach is back to normal my operation wound is sore, which is what I expect and can cope with.
Hi....so sorry you are feeling like this but I think a lot of people will relate to this. Have you been given any information yet on the heart rehab classes that most people get the chance to attend. They are very helpful and also take a bit of fear away about what you are actually capable of doing after surgery. I think sometimes the worry can be about over exertion or doing too much. You have had a major surgery on your heart and that in itself is very daunting and can be difficult to deal with mentally and recovery isn't always text book and can differ massively. People around you can very quickly forget what you have been through and it can at times feel like a lonely experience. Are you doing any exercises or walking. Trying to motivate yourself to do these things can be difficult but can also make you feel so much better if you push yourself to do them. Keep talking to people on the forum who have been through this...you will get some great support and advice. If you are really struggling I would thing that maybe a bit of counselling might help but I would certainly start asking questions about the cardiac rehab programme and you can get this information from you GP or the cardiac nurses or unit where you had your operation. Xx
Thanks for all the comments.Appreciate the support
Unfortunately due to my circumstances I had to return to work 12 weeks after my bypass so only got to attend two sessions at cardiac rehab as they are during the day!
I’m trying so hard to snap myself out of it but just feel numb and alone.
Hi Ruf,I had a double CABG last January and my physical recovery was really good but the emotional recovery not so good. I have not yet found a face to face e support group which I think is greatly needed. I felt exactly the same as you!! No one understood because they hadn't gone through.it!! Because you look well people e pect you to feel well!! I just felt sad all the time and couldn't stop crying!! It just takes timefor your brain to adjust to this huge operation. You will be fine eventually I promise. Meanwhile be kind to.ypurself andook after yourself. Take care
Thank you. I totally agree there should be some face to face support available. Unfortunately my hospital discharged me 12 weeks after surgery with nothing in place just GP who to be honest I’d pretty useless
Hi, It will take a while to feel like your old self. Don't let the scar get you down. Think to yourself you don't have to look at it. I had a quadruple bypass and a heart valve replacement. It took about 12 months to feel like myself. I looked at the scar and thought to myself, I don't need to look at it. There's far worse things than the scar. There's so many people who have had the surgery. Keep smiling.
I found that my scars are a conversation opener and because of them I’ve met people who’ve been through the same. I wear my battle scars like a badge of honour and they remind me sometimes to be kind to myself.
hi. Sorry to hear you are struggling. I had Triple Bypass in October 2022 and my rehab program was slightly delayed by the COVID era. Once I started on the program which after assessment I did a 3 month virtual exercise program at home which I found really helpful but at times frustrating as I couldn’t discuss whether I was doing the exercises correctly face to face. However I persevered with it and was referred on to a Cardiac Rehab program in the local gym. My assessment went ok and I started with 4other guys in similar circumstances on a 2x weekly program for 8weeks. The guy who took us was brilliant he really knew his stuff and also was available for a 1-1 chat about my progress and any concerns or feelings I was experiencing. What I also found really supportive was the friendship which developed between the 4 of us in the group.
When the sessions were coming to an end 3of us decided we would carry on attending the gym 2x a week and our instructor gave us advice and new programs. The gym is absolutely fantastic everyone is so friendly and helpful.
After playing sport mainly football and managing and coaching teams for 50 years I always said I couldn’t imagine anything worse than going to a gym.
Now I go every week but not just for the exercises which I’m beginning to enjoy but for the friendship of my other 2 mates from the program and the mutual support we get from meeting and talking any issues through .
I wish you good luck and hope you come through this stage that you’re experiencing
HiI had a triple bypass 6 months ago in a weeks time. I was incredibly fortunate that one of my neighbours had OHS four years ago and was happy to talk about his experiences. At one point, approx 6 months after surgery he felt incredibly down and was told by doctors that there was a 50-50 chance of OHS patients experiencing something similar to PTSD at some point.
This is something I have heard from a number of quarters, so when I started feeling a bit down recently, I was able to recognise it and nip it in the bud before it got too bad.
Thing is, OHS is brutal, and we don't realise quite how brutal as we thankfully weren't awake at the time. It's not really surprising if at some point our body reacts to it and lets us know it's not happy about what happened.
So we aren't being weak or stupid or not thankful, it's a natural reaction. I had a series of CBT sessions which were offered free in my area for an issue I had years ago and I still use what I learned then.
I understand how some feel about the scar, in case it helps, my attitude is that I feel sorry that my body had to experience the operation and grateful that it is coping as well as it is. This deflects any negative feelings I might develop about being scarred. May not make sense to others, but it works for me. Plus I figure I will concentrate on the things I can change, not the things I can't. Hope some of these ramblings are of help to someone 😁
I found after my triple bypass and all the physical and mental adjustments I had to make that concentrating on people who had it like Ranulf Fiennes who ran 7 marathons in 7 different countries 3 months after bypass . It really made me feel that if he could do that then the bypass wasn’t such the big deal I was experiencing . Post op exercise is paramount . In the group I really found how far I could go because my physical confidence was very low. After six months I was back to tennis and climbing hills in Scotland . Not bad for an 80 year old
Hi Ruf56, I had my HA in Feb 22 I was 59 I thought I had indigestion and ended up blue lighted to hospital in the dead of night I am under no illusion and never was how serious this was
What I will say is after my bypass I really struggled some days i couldn’t string a sentence without breaking down, like you i definitely felt that anti depressants were not for me but they do work for some people
I did reach out and started to see a psychologist for weeks and weeks I thought I was getting nowhere weeks turned into 3 then 4 months then I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel i learned coping mechanisms that helped me some did some didn’t I’m 2:5 years down the line and still use these when I feel my anxiety is not good
Believe me it was the best thing I done, everyone kept saying I was really lucky and I looked just fine I tell you they should have been inside my head because I was crumbling inside.
I didn’t feel like me I was frightened all the time frightened to sleep frightened to be on my own frightened to let anyone know I was feeling like this.
As for my scar I can look at it now I can wear nice tops I can wear my bathers I am here and I am thankful for that.
Please reach out, go see your doctor and start the ball rolling
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I had OHS 5 years ago, went back to work after 3 months, had a PTSD attack, ended up back in hospital for 10 days and had every conceivable test you can imagine. Physically my heart is fully functioning but the mental recovery had me on anti-depressants for a year, I didn't put on weight but we are all different. I eventually made it back to full time work after a year. I wonder if some of my issues were related to the fact that I didn't feel ill before surgery so I didn't feel better afterwards. Things that helped me were, the family being there for me if at times it did feel like I was wrapped in cotton wool, breathing exercises, plenty of walking, mindfulness, joining a choir - I still can't believe that one and finally support from work colleagues and the structure being at work provided.
When I had my mental struggles, everything seem overwhelming, and my brain was all over the place. People told me it would pass, it did, but I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone.
5 years later your note struck a chord with me. It felt like somewhere I'd been.
I survived, I'm not the same as I was before, I can't explain it but it just is. My scar hasn't fully healed but its just part of me. Keep going, ask for help, keep talking to those of us who have been to similar places.
Just adding to my previous comments. Your post has made me realise how far I have come in 3 years. I have belonged to a choir since long before my CABG and post op I found music made me very emotional but singing is so good for healing and mental well being. The breathing exercises we do before we sing helped my recovery too.
I think I'm the opposite to you, I had a really tough time in hospital after aortic valve replacement, I cried a lot during the first few weeks, but the drs and nurses said that was good, do it then rather than suffer later. That's probably not much help to you now but what I'm trying to say is, it seems that a lot of us have a bad time at some point, it just different people have it at different times in our recovery.
Hello! I was like that after my quadruple by-pass and on coming out of Hospital I was given a councillor who tools me I had a bad body image of my scar, I would not take off my top as I did wand to see it! This lasted for nearly a year but I did overcome it! This was in 1994 and since then I have had a Pacemaker fitted in 2017 which does not bother me! You will get over it and accept as a war wound! Keep Well! Edmund
I had an aortic valve replacement 2.5years ago at the age of 59 and I too was blessed that all went well and I healed and got on with life. Then about 9 months ago ‘boom’ I hit rock bottom and started with anxiety overthinking, worry etc. I was told it was delayed trauma and started having 3 monthly sessions with a cardiology rehab unit which really helped, however I still very much struggle with my INR and warfarin! My INR varies so much and as much as I try I cannot seem to keep it in the 2 -3 parameters 😠 and because of this I have this terrible feeling of guilt that I am wasting the doctors time etc. which I cannot get out of my mind and causes anxiety particularly when I am due to give blood 🩸
I am trying to work through this with the help of my support team who have been outstanding.
If anyone has any advice re INR be glad to hear it as I try and keep to the recommendations and guidelines given.
Does your vitamin K intake vary a lot? I like a lot of foods that have vitamin K and was given the advice to get a least one large source of vitamin K a day (spinach, kale, broccoli, etc.), and then that will help swamp out most of the other variability. It's worked for me, the one caveat being that I'm an outlier on warfarin dosage -- even with a high vitamin K intake I need less than 2mg a day to keep my INR in the 2 - 3 range).
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Recent heart attack
Triple Bypass surgery
Struggling!! 
Preparing for Open Heart surgery 
