I’m 6 months today since my heart bypass and after feeling super positive and happy I was still here ,I now seem to have spiraled into feeling really down and questioning every decision I have made in life. I’m really struggling to cope and it seems that everyone just expects me to still be the person I was, but I don’t feel I am me anymore. I can’t look in the mirror cos the scar really upsets me.
I don’t want to go to gp as they will just put me on antidepressants, which cause weight gain putting strain on my heart. I feel like no one understands and everyone keeps saying I’m lucky to have survived, but I don’t feel lucky
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Ruf56
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I didn't have surgery but I had a stemi & a cardiac arrest at the end of may , I don't feel the same anymore either . It was said to me regularly that I'm very lucky & should be grateful, but we are allowed to feel other things aswell in my opinion! My heart has done nothing but mess around ever since , sent to a&e all the time . If things would settle I'd maybe stand more of a chance of getting over what's happened. I hope you can get past this ❤️
Very similar, found that all the nuances of coping with the medication, vulnerability to illnesses (had 8 weeks of colds and infections) and began questioning things and over thinking everything. Hot flushes which I could not find any information about. Easy to get into a spiral. I did go to the doctors and took advice from a surgeon, and without making light of it, this was life going forward and natural. Anxiety, worry and a bit of paranoia are just normal reactions to everything which has gone on. I did joke with the surgeon I just need to grow a pair and get on with it, and to a degree the answer was yes. That simple conversation lifted me out of the spiral. Hope you can find some comfort in this, like yourself I am a positive person and got the majority of my bounce back.
FWIW, antidepressants really helped me. A decade before my heart surgery I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and I've been on escitalopram and lamotrigine ever since. They have immeasurably improved my quality of life.
Like everyone, I still hit some potholes post-OHS, but I'm hoping for some smoother tarmac to come....
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