Hi all i had a stoke 18 May, brain clot, which was successfully treated at my local hospital. As soon as i came to on the ward after treatment I was walking about normally. Further tests revealed that i had no physical weakness at all which is good. However, when verbally communicating with medical staff and family i could not find words to complete a sentence. Furthermore, i was unable to retain any details as to the what a conversation or chat was about. I did have pain in left side of head where clot was removed from so i assumed my brain would need time to heal and i would be able to communicate much better given time. Sadly this is not the case. Six weeks post stroke although i am physically active i have become so very depressed. My brain feels numb on left side of head which turns into ache then pain as i progress through the day. I call friends by the wrong name. I now avoid talking to people....the mental pressure (stress) causes head pain. Unable to watch favourite tv programmes or read any books. Basically, nothing instills any pleasure in me mentally or emotionally at all. I,m like a walking dead person, a zombie....feel so isolated and lonely. Feel like i am in a very dark place and i cannot get out of it. I am not living my life as i once did...I cant see a future being like this.
What can i do?
Really would appreciate some advice.
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DizzyD
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My friend of 81 had a stroke from a clot. She had had the bleed type many years ago and recovered about 97%. This time her speech and fluency has returned very well, but she has lost all interest in eating and is getting skinny and frail. She is a vegetarian and is getting out for walks with friends most days.
Whenever I broach the subject of her diet she changes the subject. I wonder if there are any drugs which might stimulate her appetite so she gets enough protein at least? What is the lowest weight when one has to be treated in hospital because you are beyond saving so I can warn her?
I want to try and support her to eat more and cannot make out if she has anorexia in fact.
The lady whos life I saved when I worked at that care home where they bullied me had 2 strokes that were bleeds in the brain and thankfully she is on treatment and recovering at home.
It came on so quick as one minute she was OK and the next she wasn't and I took charge and said I was getting the ambulance and that I did and got my other colleague to reassure her which was all we could do really with a stroke and to stand at the front door to bring the ambulance staff in who were very nice and told me my astute thinking had saved the colleagues life!
Perhaps that's why I was sent to work at the care home to save that colleagues life and after I did that it was time for me to leave after those other colleagues bullied me over stupid things like pasta salads not being labelled in the fridge which with respect was stupid and petty!
It's a good job I hadn't become attached and saw their true face early as if it had happened when I had worked there years and got attached that would have really really hurt!
Thankfully they showed themselves up early when I could leave immediately and there was nothing they could do about it!
They are advertising on the job boards and will continue to do so until the cows come home unless they improve their manners and learn to speak to people properly as they would expect for themselves!
If you can get her doctor to see her or at least speak on the phone. She can be prescribed one of the several different types of special drinks, One of these is Fresubin, there are others. They are easy to drink and provide calories and lots of the other things we need. Or your pharmacist might suggest some of these.
If she is, say, five foot tall then she might be hospitalised at five stones or less. When you get to that point you are unable to make decisions.
Hi there, vegetarian diets don't mean low protein. Natural yoghurt, cheese, eggs, tofu, whole grains (especially quinoa), pulses, seeds and nuts are great sources. Maybe take her a treat snack with some of these in. As a vegetarian myself, I would be upset if anyone was suggesting I eat meat.
If this is the first time you have ever had your body go wrong in a major way it is a huge shock and an enormous thing to adjust to. 6 weeks is early days after having such a shock and after having a stroke. Think of it as your brain having had multiple short circuits. Each of these short circuits is having an impact and, just like happens when there are short circuits in the electricity system, each one needs to be mended or a diversion organised. While this is happening in the brain lots of things do not work as they used to and some of the mends happen quicker than others. Right now you have no way of knowing what will return to how it was and what may not so it is frightening but it is extremely early in the journey of mending. Think of someone who has a badly broken their leg, at 6 weeks they would also have a long way to go, the brain is no different.
I am hoping there will be some speech therapy available? Well worth doing and sticking with.
I am sure other people will tell you of their own experiences. Keep on posting on here so we can support you.
Hi Rambler thank you. Just to rectify mistake with date of stroke...it was 18 April not May. I,m not seeing a speech therapist, thankfully dont need one. Difficulty spelling words and putting full setence together but this is improving. Sincere thank you for support.
As a fellow stroke survivor I do have some idea what you are going through. I like the term stroke survivor as it emphasises you have come through.
It is very early days for you. Your brain has been damaged and needs masses of time to learn how to work around the damage.
It will help if you relax and accept the magnitude of your damage. Only a fellow stroke survivor will understand what you are going through.
All limbs working, that’s a blessing. No aphasia (loss of speech) so keep exercising your voice.
Your brain will now be working away to “ mend” itself by using different pathways. I think the medical term is neuroplasticity.
I got great relief by using a tinnitus relaxer. I don’t have tinnitus ! But the device plays pleasing sounds overlaid with white noise.
Some GP surgeries might lend you one, but I bought mine online for about £35.
It will help you get to sleep and to relax during the day.
I got very confused as to what was dreams and what was real. But I tried not to let it worry me.
Lots of tears flowed for three months.
Do ask where your local stroke group meets. If you can attend then you will get lots of advice but above all you will be amongst people who understand.
I am now about ten years post stroke. You will find your own levels.
But relax, relax and relax are the 3 best things.
Think a little bit for those stroke survivors who lose the use of limbs and rejoice that you don’t have those issues.
Love your pen name, wonder if that is new after stroke ?
Hey Blackcatsooty lol, my pen name is not a new one. My dogs name is Dizzy she a sheep dog so active and demanding, she always made me Dizzy. Post stroke I still take her out when i can for long walks which was always so rewarding being outside in the great outdoors but now i dont feel any joy at all due to pain in head which gets worse as activity with her progresses. Brain switches off depression then kicks in. Lenghty walks be it sun, windy snow or storms have always been my salvation where i feel free and at one with the comfort of nature. Thing is going by your most informative and rewarding post i might be doing too much too soon after stroke.Yes you are spot on about stroke survivors who loose use of there limbs. I have a friend with limited use of limbs who came to visit me last week with his wife. He is so witty...lost none of his mental cognition. He had a brain bleed. Thing is though he now uses cannabis and drinks alcohol daily. Sure lots of other stroke survivors out there with limited limb use dont do the same as he does. So yes i am gratefull via neuroplasicity my brain with eventually create an alternative pathway and hopefully my mental cognition will improve as will the pain in my head that causes me to feel so depressed.
Have no idea what a tinnitus relaxer sounds like. So pleased it helped you. I have always used a sound device to help me sleep which i have used for years...nature sounds, birds, wind, rain, thunder, sea etc which always helped in the past but now pain in head gets worse when i use it.
Anyway, after writing my initial post yesterday and before receiving all the most welcome replies here, i arranged a consult with GP...now thats progress. Just want pain in head depression to be noted in my medical records. Paracetamol and ibuprofen do help with the pain but i rarely take them because ibuprofen cant be used with anti coagulants.
Love your comment about dreams, i totally relate to what you wrote.
From one stroke survivor to another sincere thank you sooty.
Yes I think you are right….you are doing too much too soon.
Stroke recovery is a slow slow event. But you will get there given time. Lots of time.
Strokes are described as bleed, clot, or transient. I am appropriately described as a clot. Bleeds are often the worst. Transients are usually by far the easiest. Commonly called TIAs.
Tinnitus relaxer is much like your device, playing options of relaxing noises but it is also playing white noise.
You will get through this, given time and care. But don’t use alcohol or non prescription drugs. Let your brain recover first, then, if needed, you could booze etc.
Just think about your poorly brain trying to fathom which neuro path to choose out of the millions available. But it will get itself straight, with your total support.
I went through several months of being trapped in my dreams. But it sorted itself eventually. One oddity was my hearing. Brain was deeply troubled by sound. I made a huge breakthrough when I grasped that my brain couldn’t handle any echos. So any microphone etc, which have a slight echo, sent me into floods of irrational tears.
To give you more hope: I was paralysed initially. I could move my right hand but nothing else. But just four days in, I got out of my bed and walked, with supervision, out of the ward and up the corridor. A true miracle for me. I still don’t walk 100 % but the 80% is very pleasing.
No two strokes are the same but most have some common factors.
At a previous job a colleague had a stroke and I went and got the ambulance as I was worried and my other colleague reassured her when I got the ambulance!
She is now at home and they hope she will make a full recovery from it as they were strokes that bled in the brain rather than from a blood clot!
One of my friends said that when I took charge when the lady took ill saying I was getting the ambulance that my decisiveness had saved her life!
Many years ago my Nana had been having small strokes same as the colleague had but no one had taken her to a and e to get checked and one Saturday Nana had a serious stroke and my aunty stupidly phoned nhs direct who aren't there for strokes rather than saying she was getting the ambulance like I did!
I don't think there was anything anyone could have done for Nana but with respect that was a stupid thing to have done ringing nhs direct for a stroke and sadly Nana died and it could have been prevented and we were all devastated.
My father died full of unforgiveness towards my aunt blaming her for what happened but I don't think there's anything anyone could have done for Nana but my father had decided that no he didn't want to forgive my aunt and had carried that anger with him until the day he died.
A few years ago I had blood clots in the lungs and have made a full recovery so there's no reason you shouldn't either!
So sorry to hear about your nana Turnipgirl. Thing is we cannot change the past can we but we can learn from it. Your dad suffered more if did not forgiven your aunt. As humans, we are all prone to making mistakes especially in a crisis.
In all honesty i was very lucky to have made it home from a very long walk in wilderness with my dog. I was feeling so well. Upon arriving home i instantly had a stroke...right side of body just gave way and i collapsed. Point is i could have had stroke in the wilderness an certainley would not be here if i did. Obviously a higher power was looking after me. My ex husband was present in my home and he did call NHS ambulance service. Thankfully, i received treatment pretty quickly.
So pleased your lung clots were treated successfully. According to my cardiologist he suspects i have big clot in my heart due to severe afib attacks which i dont receive any medication for and a piece of it broke off and travelled to my brain and caused stroke.
Waiting for MRI scan on heart to see if i do have large clot in heart. If i do unfortunately it will have to stay there.
Thing is when you stay angry and bitter towards others paradox is the person you hurt the most is yourself!
I remember going for a scan when I had blood clots in the lungs and feeling terrified thinking it was an enclosed mri scan but no it wasn't it was a ct scan that's nice and open like going through a polo mint!
Thank you Driver11 for words of wisdom. In all honesty i am finding it very theraputic writing replies to people on this site who responded to my initial post.
Hence, i have connected to people who can relate to my problem and i do feel more pro active and positive.
I had an out of hospital CA 6yrs ago and thought I was very lucky to survive. Since then I've had 5 cardioversions and 2 ablutions I also have an ICD which has worked twice and kept me alive All these things can either drag you down or can make you more positive
During all this my wife had dementia and passed away from inoperable pancreatic cancer
I now have a new fiancee who has 2 children so I now have a new family who love me like being with me and have changed my life completely
Talking about problems seems to reduce there severity
Keep doing what you're doing and hope it all works
Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your stroke. A stroke on the left side affects the language centre of the brain. This can either be receptive (understanding/remembering information) or expressive (talking/finding the right words), or sometimes both.These effects are not necessarily permanent and can be much improved with treatment.
It is important that you see a Speech Language Pathologist for treatment. They can help you to regain functions that you are struggling with, as you have described. I am a Speech Pathologist in Australia. I'm not sure how it works in UK, but here you can just make an appointment with a private Speech Therapist/Pathologist (they're the same) without any referral or anything. There is also the public system but it usually has a long wait.
If you can go privately I would do that, as it's best to get started with therapy/treatment as early as possible. Very best wishes, hang in there, there is hope for improvement ❤️
Hi so sorry to hear this I have no advice but wanted to let you know you are not alone. I think the advice cotonh and Blackcatsooty have given is good especially as Blackcatsooty is a stroke survivor. I wish you well and hope your recovery progresses with each day but it will take time as has been said. Baby steps and relax use this time to concentrate on you, allow your brain to recover. Maybe audio books would help, listening to music ( always good) meditation, word searches are just a few suggestions that may help.
I do hope you are getting the support and help you need if not contact your GP or hospital or maybe someone can contact them for you. Please keep us updated on your progress and remember you are not alone. If you feel down I know the people on this forum will support you. Good luck 🍀🍀take care best wishes 😊🌞X.
I love the response from Sooty and they are correct that only a fellow stroke survivor will completely understand what you are going through. Get as much help as you can from the speech therapists and join a local stroke survivors group. I can empathise on some of the symptoms as I have had a head injury - concentration and noises and delayed responding was what affected me. I made the mistake of pushing myself too hard which I think elongated my recovery. As a therapist I help clients with pacing. So if you do something strenuous with your brain, rest it for a while - eg if you have speech therapy in the morning, rest your brain by relaxing in the afternoon and so on. The injury to your brain from your stroke may also have lowered your mood, maybe look at ways of naturally boosting your dopamine levels. Above all though, time is your best friend - you have been blessed with more time and time will heal you as well
Yes Suebedoo Sooty,s reply really helped me and inspired me. To be honest writing replies to all the responses is a great mental exercise for me. Its actually feels like a sort of therapy in itself.Have you recovered from your head injury? Really hope you have.
Prior to stroke an neurologist was in process of wanting to treat me for neurological disease due to migraine since i was 9. Thing is i have cluster headaches on left side of head and was booked in for nerve block intervention but had stroke so could not keep appointment. Thing is pain in left side of head now more severe and frequent so have no idea if its cluster headaches or related to stroke. Do know paon in head was awful when i came round after stroke.
Whatever, i dont want nerve block injections in my head unless it is safe to have them post stroke.
Thank you for mentioning dopamine levels....will research supplements to try an boost them.
Thank you really appreciate your feedback. Pricelesss
I was assaulted in 2018 and have post concussion syndrome which exacerbated my migraines - had them daily after assault. Neurologist gave me Botox in my head, nerve block and tried a number of tablets but nothing helped. I decided to go to an advanced sports therapist and that has really helped me. I now only get migraines once a week approx and without extra medication. Best thing I did for myself
I agree with what has been said, 6 weeks post stroke is very early, you have also got the added pressure of stress too.I had a stroke 4 years ago (caused by AF) which affected my left arm. At my follow up with the Stroke consultant I was told there were 4 clots, apparently one large clot broke up, had it not I would not have survived.
The psycological effect caused me more problems than the stroke. I kept breaking down whenever anyone asked how I was and seemed to spend my days low and anxious. My GP referred me to the Well Being team who allocated a councellor to talk to me every week, this went on for 8 months. I do believe anyone that has faced a life threatening event needs to talk, its a form of PTSD. It really sorted me out, contact your GP and ask what support there is in your area, its also worth contacting the Stroke Association, lots of videos from people sharing their stories, it makes you feel you're not alone. Hope you get some help x
Hi Vrouse, same here, afib caused stroke. I have a large clot in heart caused by afib and part of it broke off which travelled to my brain hence stroke. Thing is i cannot be prescibed any anti arrithymia or rate control meds to treat afib which was really severe due to lots of long lasting tachycardia attacks. Strange this is since stroke, i have only had 2 short term episodes of afib which is trully a miracle. I know this sounds silly but i do believe afib has taken a back seat.Prior to stroke i was diagnosed with PTSD by a psychologist due to being wrongly treated with medications over years. Long story but i should never have been prescribed anti arrithymia/ rate control meds at all due to blocked coronary artery and mitral stenosis. These drugs actually made afid attacks much worse not better. It took 3 years for doctors to connect the dots and all afib medication (apart from anti coagulants) was stopped. Honestly, PTSD was horrific whenever i received appointment to see a cardilogist or any other medical professional.
At first therapy session with psychologist for PTSD afib with tachycardia was triggered. Hence, any further therapy was stopped because it triggered afib. Anyway, i still have the option of contacting psychologist, so thanks to your most informative and welcome reply i will contact her for help and support.
Sincere thank you. Have a rewarding day lovely
Ohh just remembered, i am having an mri scan on heart in two weeks by my carxiologist to see extent of clot in heart
Hope you get some positive news after MRI. Stress is my main trigger for afib, easier said than done to try to relax, I try to divert my thoughts by doing something like a crossword or jigsaw. Hope you feel better soon x
Hello DizzyD,I'm sorry to read how you are feeling after your stoke and I can completely understand your feelings.
I had a stroke in November 22, no limb weakness, but I did have some speech issues and my concentration and memory was shot.
10 months later I had triple bypass surgery and my concentration and memory got worse. To the extent I was convinced I had dementia.
When our brain suffers a stroke even the slightest damage can affect us. The experience itself isn't always easy to come to terms with. Noticing changes in concentration and memory when we once had no issue is absolutely terrifying.
I for one didn't feel like myself but having recently seen a neurologist and being tested for dementia put thinks into perspective.
I'm happy to say there is no sign of dementia however I do have some functional issues with the brain caused by my stroke and bypass surgery.
But the brain is an amazing tool and can as Sooty says rewire itself.
Having reached out to the medical professionals I am now working with Neurohab team learning to come to terms with changes in memory and concentration.
Give yourself time and above all, if at all possible try not to stress, for stress can make concentration and memory worse.
Rely on family and friend and speak to your GP, stroke team. There is help available you
DizzyD, Sounds like an awful shock, and may take a while to recover from emotional trauma, I have found Flower essences to be a great help, you could start with Dr Bach Rescue Remedy (Holland & Barratt stores and many others) also Crystal Herbs which are also essences, with good explanations on their website. Try going to the next Holistic Fair in your area, there would be a lot of help there. I really do not understand why these Complementary things are not better known. All the very best.
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