His Ng tube fell out Mon morning. Ent said no need to replace he's having a RIG fitted Thurs afternoon. His food and all his meds go through the Ng tube. So 2 ent drs tried to put one in, couldn't do it! So he's had no food or meds since 9 o clock Mon morning. Yes he's had the RIG fitted but it can't be used for 24 hours. They did put Ng tube in this afternoon as well so they started him on some feed, but it was too fast after having nothing for almost 4 full days and he threw up and the Ng tube came out with it. So now no meds or feed until tomorrow night! Obviously the rig is put straight into his tummy so that's very painful and can't have painkillers until tomorrow night. They're doing OBS every 20 minutes to check after the procedure so he won't get any sleep. The speech and language therapist came this morning and said he's one of the most difficult cases they've ever had. They may want him to go for some sort of exam either [REDACTED], [REDACTED] or [REDACTED], says it would be temporary! I said [REDACTED] for me as if it's longer I can't get to the others. We wish he'd never had it done and took his chance. At least he'd have been home and eating and drinking and with family. Better a year like that, than this horrible experience.
Ralph is incredible and just keeps going, don't ask me how!
I'd never say this to Ralph but he's not out of the woods yet and could still die at any minute. I'm so heartbroken
Oh Sue, you are having such a rough time of it, I was so hoping no news meant good news I hope that the rig will make a big difference once it is ready to be used. My heart goes out to both of you and wish that this whole experience is something you will be able to chat about this time next year as something you got through together xxx
I’m sorry , what a difficult week. It is such a similar path to the one we travelled with Dad and my heart aches for you. We kept each other going but only just and the exhaustion is awful. I’ve been looking out for your posts. We had so many rough days and the ones that gave us hope almost made the bad ones more difficult. You must be shattered. Take care, sending lots of love and wishing you both well. Xx
I’m so sorry to hear this latest news. I can’t believe what you’ve both had to endure. Like BeKind said, get as much help for yourself as you can, as you need it as much as Ralph. You need to be in a good place to support Ralph. I hope very soon things start going in Ralph’s favour. I know you are both very much in the thoughts of this community x
I’m so sorry to hear this news Sue. Like a lot of the other comments I had been thinking of you both. I can only imagine how low you must be feeling. And this is totally normal. You are allowed to feel low so please don’t beat yourself up about this. However please try and get some rest. Tomorrow I’m sure you will feel better and Ralph will be so pleased to see you. Best wishes, prayers and strength to you both
Ohhh you dearest, darling Soul. I hug you with all my heart and being. I pray some stability will even yet come Ralph's way, despite all these unspeakable trials you're both enduring. Please God these hospitals don't make stuff unnecessarily harder... And may stability arise, from which progress is made. Maybe this might be the darkest hour before the dawn, and maybe the worst might pass, and slowly things will level out and build. Please don't lose hope. You must be ragged, but something inside of you is unbroken. You aren't alone. I've thought of you all week and i bet others have. We will all pray, I'm sure you will have much prayerful support, for your strength despite EVERYthing. You've got this, and energetically, we are willing you on.
One para in Lord of The Rings has always inspired me, down the decades through difficult challenges. I'll share it with you.
"But even as hope died in Sam, or seemed to die, it turned to a new strength. Sam's plain hobbit-face grew stern, almost grim, as the will hardened in him, and he felt through all his limbs a thrill, as if he was turning into some creature of stone and steel that neither despair, nor weariness nor endless barren miles could subdue."
This will not overcome you. Let your's and Ralph's strength come from the Universe itself, when all else feels like it lets you down.
May you both be blessed to come through this. 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂
I only checked this morning as we hadn't heard from you for a little while and as there was no new post I (wrongly, it turns out) assumed all was ticking along to plan and you had nothing to report.
I really cannot imagine what you are going through standing on the sidelines watching all these things happening to your dear Ralph.
I shall renew my prayers for you both tonight. Stay strong, you can do this and you will. Hugs & positive thoughts xxx
I'm shocked to read that they aren't giving him meds or food for several days when they've been so good up to now. However my concern is right now more for you. You can not live on "What if"? What if he'd never had the treatment? He took what was the best choice at that time and he's determined to see it through and recover and I'm quite sure he's fighting for you but you can't fight for him unless you get some help and stay strong. Have you told the nurses how this has affected you or spoken to your own G P? Do have a talk to the nurses about everything but find time to talk to your own GP and see what help is available for you. Perhaps the nurses know of help they could arrange within the hospital.
The nurses were furious but not allowed to override the drs
I look forward to your updates and although it is not one I had wanted to see, for what it is worth, please know that I am praying for you both. That may sound like a cliche but I truly am. I so admire your fortitude. Given everything that you and Ralph have endured until now, the fact that in spite of all you are still standing and able to be there for Ralph speaks so much about the strength of your character, courage and love for Ralph. What a love story. Still rooting for you both and believing that he will come through this and that you will remain strong spirit, soul and body. Much love ❤️
So sorry to read this update. I was hoping Ralph was doing better as we hadn’t had an update in a few days. His willpower is out of this world! Keeping you both in my prayers ❤️ xx
I am so sorry this is happening to poor Ralph he is a fighter and this is another two steps back for him. I sure he will soon be steadily going forward again soon. Hard for you not to feel down and sad… it is so wearing on you too. Chin up my lovely make sure you get your rest and sleep and eat. Thinking of you both and sending you a big hug xx
SAD..truly ..what you both have been going through..and the courage that you both have shown...I know that we should not lay blame..especially on this site..but they botched the initial operation and playing catch up very poorly..this is not Ralph's fault...and we continue to await a miracle...because he deserves one...when I did not see news from you I suspected that something was going on..I wish you strength and may God shower you both with his choicest blessings...
Oh Sue I'm so sorry you're still going through this, my heart goes out to you both. I really hope this is the last hurdle & the medical team can get him back on track . You're both amazing 🥰 xx
Hi. I'm quite new on this forum but since I joined I have been following your posts. I am so impressed with you and Ralphs fortitude and I think you are both so brave. Everyone is cheering you on - and I join them. Sending you hope and admiration.
I’m so very sorry to read this. It’s hard to keep spirits up sometimes and you’re doing marvellously at helping Ralph keep his more bouyant than they would be otherwise. Please remember you need mollycoddling as well even if it’s just a bar of chocolate. x
I am so sorry to hear your news xx one moment at a time xx your strength is remarkable despite how awful it all feels.. sending you strength and kind thought's to you and your husband xxx don't forget to take some time for you..even if only for a few moments xx because you matter and you are also important x
So sorry to hear your latest update and hope you will have better news soon. Remember to take care of yourself and get as much rest as you can. The sun is shininghere and a little blackbird is singing his heart out. Lifts your spirit.
Oh Sue, I'm so sorry to hear this, what an awful week for both of you. 😫 I wish I could give you a big hug and make everything better 🫂 It's so hard, and must feel so overwhelming. My gran used to say "it's always darkest before the dawn", but it sure is a long wait for you. I hope with all my heart that Ralph's medical condition starts to improve soon.I will be praying for you both and sending my dearest wishes to you, please take care. 💗
Good morning Castleview. I have been following your messages from the beginning and was hoping things were getting better. So I am sorry to hear of the latest problems. Thoughts are with you both and hope they can get him well. 🙏 Brian
Good morning Sue, I am so sorry to read your news. Like everyone has said I was hoping to read good news. I hope things are about the finally change for you both for the better. It’s definitely not fair what you have both been through. Thinking of you both. Sending my love and prayers for you. 🩷 make sure you let your family help you too. Xx
I’ve been following your thread from the start, all I can say is I’m in awe of Ralph and yourself, your stoic determination is unparalleled. I’m sure I can speak for all of us on this forum in wishing you all the very best - continue to ‘fight the good fight with all your might’ xxx
I have not commented before although I have read all your messages and like others truly thought that Ralph was starting to get better and am so sorry to hear of the latest incident, he has an amazing fighting spirit and will come out of this as before. I feel for you as you must be exhausted what with the worry for Ralph and the daily travelling to get to the hospital. Your in my thoughts and sending love to both you and Ralph xx
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear this news.I can understand how upset you must be and why you feel less hopeful than you were, and even wishing that Ralph hadn't had an operation in the first place.
But , please don't give up hope now.
You have both been so incredibly strong throughout this , and it's probably because you love each other so much that you have kept each other strong.
Ralph has been through a lot, but he's survived so much too.
Far more and far better than most people would have done in the same situation.
It's that fact that still gives me optimism that he will get through this too, and any of the other obstacles put in front of him , with your help.
Yes, he's rare as a case , but that's because he is such a survivor, which is why the team working with him are so committed to getting him back to full health and home to you. Even if that means he might need to travel to see the top people in the field to get the best help for him.
The situation with the tubes must be very alarming for you just as the first few weeks with them are painful and will have ups and downs for Ralph.
But , although it won't feel like it at the moment , it's a sign of progress, another step forward and when the adjustments are done it will reap it's rewards.
I know it probably seems like an odd comparison , but Ralph at the moment is a little like a room that you choose to reorganise.
Everything needs to be removed from cupboards and sorted out before you can rearrange the furniture, decide what things need to be put where , and which things need discarding , before everything is tidied away in the right places , polished up, and made to look more beautiful and work more comfortably than before.
But, as we all know, it's usually at the stage just before the room is brought back to normal that it can look it's worst and we often stare at the carnage and wonder if it will ever be right and why we started the job in the first place.
Ralph , is at that stage now.
But , as we know with a room , when we finally push on, very soon we see the pattern emerge we were looking for and when it's done we are always glad we did it.
That will be where you and Ralph will be in the end.
It may have taken longer than you expected and had some unexpected problems along the way, just like every thing worth doing in Life seems to do, but in the end it's worth the wait ; and you get to enjoy something for many years longer than you could have done without the struggle and the odd moment of hair pulling and tears.
Try to remember that , don't give up , we are all here for you, hugs , Bee
Yes operation went well, but [REDACTED] Dr messed up by taking the tracheotomy out after the cuff being down after only 5 hours. SALT and physio wanted him to have cuff down all weekend and remove tracheotomy out on Monday. Dr said it's been down 5 hours let's try it! He crashed a couple of hours later and was sedated and intubated again, which was when the damage was done to the vocal chords. Now he can't tolerate cuff down longer than a minute
HI Sue, I like others I had hoped no news was good news. So sorry to hear about what's happening. You've had some really good advice from others on here, I echo their sentiments. Reach out for help, keep talking. Try to stay strong.
I will never forget your posts and I will never forget your husband Ralph. He has gone far and beyond to withstand and put up with so many failed procedures. What a mighty thing the human body is, designed to overcome all adversity. Yes, you have every right to be shouting angry and equally every right to feel let down, yet still you are with Ralph 100%..To think you might lose him at any time is so very hard to take. It just seems so unfair. I'm gonna have a right strop with God - not that I've a direct line with him/her. All I believe is that true love is for ever. It's eternal and never stops. You will never stop loving Ralph and Ralph will never stop loving you, whether your are on Platform 1 and Ralph is on platform 7, or whether you are here on this planet or Ralph is elsewhere, beyond pain but in the highest of ecstasies. Love will remain. This is what I believe. I will never forget what you both stand for. ❤️
I am sorry that this is all so difficult for you both. I hope that it all works out soon x
Yes, but [REDACTED] told me it's in the notes [REDACTED] sent that it was intubation that caused damage, [REDACTED] never said a word. That's a fight for another day, priority is getting Ralph fixed
Sue , so sorry to hear this sad news , I have prayed for both you and Ralph to come out the other end of this terrible situation very soon , sending hugs 🤗 .
Oh Sue, what a bummer - to put it politely! I was hoping that as we had not had an update, all was going well. Is there anyone at the hospital that can help you, to give you support etc? xx
Sue ..you and Ralph have had the most horrendous experience and I have followed your experience from the beginning. My heart goes out to both of you and you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I recently made the decision not to have the procedure ..and I'm OK with that decision.I sincerely hope your situation improves soon and life is kinder to you both again.
I can't tell you how very sorry I am that you are both going through such a difficult time. No amount of words from anyone is going to change things or even make you feel better. You are in all.of our thoughts though, and we are all willing you both through this. 17 weeks is a long time for a procedure you are normally sent home after 5 days!! I completely empathise with you Sue. I had my double cabg last January, and clearly remember being told of all the potential risks of having the operation. I had to make a decision just as Ralph did and chose to go ahead and pray I would be OK. Ralph has just been very unlucky Sue and that's a real shame. Underneath everything that is going on, he is still recovering from the operation, so that's a good thing. He sounds like such a strong determined person Sue, and that will help.him get through all of this. He will know how much this is affecting you, and of how upset you are!! If you can, try to look after yourself too, and rest. Is there no one you can speak to at the hospital? A hospital chaplain ( if you have a faith) my chaplain was a tower of strength when I was in hospital. I hope and pray that all of this will sort itself out and that Ralph will be on the road to recovery at home soon. No one could have predicted the outcome of this operation. Ralph went in to it in good faith and was just unlucky. Use family and friends in your dark days as im sure they will carry you through this. Take good care ok and look after yourself. Xxxx
I am really sorry for you both. Your experience has helped to confirm a decision I had made as to what treatment I would and wouldn't accept if what happened to Ralph were to happen to me. Thank you for all your posts
oh my goodness how dreadful for you both. I am so sorry. Ralph is so lucky to have you by his side and it is not to be wondered at that you have moments of despair but you are coping and will cope with whatever life throws at you and Ralph. Good luck to you both and stay strong. We are all rooting for you. X
Oh Sue I have been looking out for your post's and hoping that things were looking up. I am so sorry to hear what has happened now, Ralph is such a brave man I would long have crumbled, he is so strong even though all of this and I am sure it's your love that is helping him, seeing him every day and all the encouragement you give him.It must be a terrible strain on yourself to never know what is happening next and I totally admire your resilience, I just hope you will both get through this horrible time and you will be home together again. Thinking of you both Char x
like everyone here I can’t express how sorry I am to hear another step back for Ralph You are incredibly strong, Sue but please take all the support you can get Sending hugs and loving vibes 🥰
so sorry to hear this, the two of you have been through so much and I can understand your feelings about turning the clock back and Ralph forgoing the procedure. Like everyone else here my hopes and prayers are with you both for a good outcome xx
Hi Sue, very new here but had to read up on your posts as your latest touched me so much. It is both heartbreaking and amazing to hear what you have both battled through. I strongly believe the human spirit is an amazing thing. Ralph wouldn’t be here now if he wasn’t meant to be and is obviously a very determined man. You also have that strength. I sincerely hope Ralph continues to find the strength against all the odds to get back to his loving family ❤️❤️❤️. I could have died last week but am still here. It wasn’t my time. I hope the same goes for Ralph. Wishing you both the very very best xxxx
Sending virtual hugs, you are stronger than you think . But please take time to self care. Buy some relaxing bath oils and have a long soak. But do disconnect from everything just relax.
So sorry that Ralph and you are going through this torment and that things look so black right now. You're both fighters and if anyone can get through this mess you guys can! Hang in there.
I had been wondering how things were. So sorry to hear this latest news. You both deserve a break from all these set backs. Exhausting and heartbreaking for both of you. I hear your fears for what may happen and understand your thoughts of the more peaceful life you could be both having right now. Ralph made the decision which seemed the right one at the time. That's all any of us can do. I sincerely hope that things take a positive turn. I send all my best wishes xx
My heart goes out to you. Don't give up hope because your husband obviously hasn't and you need to be strong for him. The husband of a friend of mine had a similar procedure a few months ago at St Thomas's and he's having a long road to recovery too. He's now been moved to our local hospital but still being fed through a tube and still with a tracheotomy and his wife's been told it will be months before he's home. I know it's hard but stay strong. You know everyone on here is routing for you both
I've been looking out for your posts and was hoping the next one would be really positive. Seems to be one step forward and two back at the moment but just know that we're all thinking of you, Ralph and your family.
We all wish you weren't going through this but feel helpless because we can't do anything other than support you on Health Unlocked.
Sue, like others I was hoping for more positive news. I wish I lived closer and could help with hospital lifts etc. please ask for help as people close by will want to give support. Try and look after yourself Sue.
Words can't say how very sorry I am for this nightmare you are both going through. You must be exhausted & beyond stressed. I know how tiring it is travelling to do Hospital visits, do try to grab any opportunity to get some rest, not easy when your mind must be buzzing. My very best wishes for improvement soon.
It just doesn't seem fair that some people have to go through so much and I can only imagine how you feel. Nothing to be said that can make you feel any better just that you are both in my thoughts and keep believing that the strength you have found up until now will see you through until a ray of light shines and things are more positive xxx
Oh Sue so sorry to hear latest update I thought as we had not heard from you things were going along nicely, how you both are coping with it all God only knows but you are even if you do not think so, Ralph really needs the best hospital that can give him the treatment he needs and if it means you are not able to go as much then I know it is easier to say then so be it perhaps your son can take you more. I continue to pray and yes your Hell as you put it!! will end and positively.Xx
So sorry Sue , I wished I lived near to give you a big hug x. Don’t look back at the past and regret the decision if he hadn’t had it he could have had a heart attack anyway at anytime and had been left in same condition. You would not believe how very similar our stories are my husband was treated in three hospitals being moved everytime he got worse last hospital he was in was Leeds under the best surgeon in the country who did the best he could but also made two dreadful bad judgment calls but as he explained it was an emergency situation and perhaps had it not of been he wouldn’t have made that call. If I knew then what I know now I would make sure that all staff who touched him read his notes thoroughly and treated the person and not the textbook condition with the usual well thats the standard procedure. My Paul was always smiling and wouldn’t have a word said about any of the staff nor question what they were doing as he said they are the experts. My sister-in-law had exactly the same procedure as your Ralph and was put into an induced coma for two months, she was in hospital for six, came out weighing six stone had many problems like Ralph with tubes keep coming out. Twelve months later she is fit as a fiddle and back to her old self so Sue don’t give up hope good things can happen he just needs to find the right Doc xx
I am really sorry to hear you plight! Both you, Ralph and your family have been going through huge trauma, but everyone on this site is sending you our love ❤️ and really hope you both come out of this hell soon, keep believing and you must both be strong to have endured this so far x
This is a horrible position for both of you, with no deadline & no predicted outcome. When you say you wish he’d never had it & was home eating and ugh you all but had he stayed then he may not be here at all now. (I’m saying this in a comfort way as, arm round you hug, don’t think like that. You are there for each other thankfully, this may all be ok the. You will not have needed to think that. Try to think of while he’s like this you both have time to make memories still, talk to very day about your love and admiration for the way he’s handling this, that he has to keep fighting for you both! When you ar home try then to pot this sadness into another vent -‘write a few words in a card that are personal to you & him (if he can read then hand it to him to open, wart h his intrigued face, hopefully a smile - just those few moments will take you away from the current position for that moment & make a good memory that will last. Thinking of you xx
Hi Sue I am so sorry to hear this All I can say is Ralph is still fighting and you must hold fast and believe he can win All my thoughts and prayers are with you
So sorry to hear this it sounds so hard and upsetting on both of you. Ralph has amazing stoicism with what he is having to endure. I wish things could improve for you it looks like a long slow road yhat you're having to travel. Sending my best wishes to you both for this nightmare ease. 💕
So sorry to hear this it sounds so hard and upsetting on both of you. Ralph has amazing stoicism with what he is having to endure. I wish things could improve for you it looks like a long slow road that you're having to travel. Sending my best wishes to you both for this nightmare ease. 💕
Hi Be Kind...many have had the same OP and 99% are successful..I cannot help but think that something..albeit a little thing went wrong..as there was no reason for the outcome that he is experiencing..if all had gone well during the OP he would have been home a long time ago..just a logical conclusion..that no one can prove..certainly no one at the hospital will come out and say it whether is is so or not..I also only wish for the most positive of outcomes for this brave man and his wonderful wife ..and pray that they continue to find the courage they need..and yes..even the best surgeons can make mistakes...and mostly they can correct their mistakes in the shortest time when they are made aware of it.have experienced this personally....I am not trying to speak negatively of the Medical care...or the NHS...and what I said is only my personal opinion..not trying to influence you or others.
The bypass went well, but they missed he had a slight stroke on the table, if they'd noticed he could have been given some meds to combat and could have woken earlier
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I hope that the rig will make a big difference once it is ready to be used. My heart goes out to both of you and wish that this whole experience is something you will be able to chat about this time next year as something you got through together xxx 
Another day
