Thanks everyone for your replies…..

[Heyjude31]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who had replied to my post. I have not heard from the moderator yet but will let you know if I do. If there is one thing I have had confirmed , which I guess we all knew is what a great diverse and rich debating group we are.

For me personally I guess I was just sad that a few lovely people have decided to leave the forum. Respecting we are all different and have our opinions this forum has and continues to be so important to me, Since my bypass 16 months ago it has been a place to come and share thoughts and understanding always appreciating we are not medically qualified. It has provided me personally with so much help through my ‘journey’ and has played a big part in my recovery.

I am sensitive myself, and I recognise that, though I believe with sensitivity comes compassion and goodness knows our world needs more of that.

I think we are a pretty courageous bunch and whatever path we are on as part of our recovery long may the support and non judgmental understanding continue. I hope you all have lovely weekends, the spring will soon be here, thankfully,

On a final note, Heather, if you read this, reference your post about your scar, you gave me the confidence to embark on my first holiday since my surgery with some confidence and not to feel ashamed. Our mental health as well as our physical recovery remains fundamental to our wellbeing.

Take care all, Judi x

[Heather1957]

I have read this Jude and am so proud of you!!

I am now at that stage I actually forget about the scar, just as it should be. It is with me permanently so we have to get along with each other 😜.

I totally agree with the heart it can have a definite effect on our MH too and as well as healing physically we have to heal mentally.

I don't know if you have just booked the holiday or have been but hopefully it was/is enjoyable and will help with your healing process.

[Heyjude31 in reply to Heather1957]

It was lovely and we plan another one! happy weekend 🥰🥰🥰

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

Well done Jude!Have you seen this response from the BHF moderators?

healthunlocked.com/bhf/post...

[Heyjude31 in reply to Milkfairy]

Thanks Milkfairy, good news for us all. Have a lovely weekend 🙂x

[Handel in reply to Milkfairy]

Thanks for the link. xxxxx

[gorillaqueen]

Hi thank you for your post I hope you hear from the moderators soon. I am new to the forum and only joined in October last year after being told I needed triple heart bypass, now 16 weeks post surgery. This forum has helped me so much and everyone on here have been so supportive and helpful. I have now booked a holiday with my family in April and also looking forward to our next cruise with my hubby, however I am arguing with myself about what to wear regarding my scars, positive me is saying wear what you like and don’t worry about the scars wear them with pride as a survivor, negative me is saying cover them up. I’m not so concerned about the scar on my chest as I feel that’s easier to hide but the ones on my legs are concerning me more. Anyones feedback welcomed and thank you.

[Heather1957 in reply to gorillaqueen]

I only needed a single bypass so only have the chest scar. I have become a 'cruiser' but so far the weather has been cooler on the cruises I have taken. Obviously a lot depends on where you are cruising.

In cooler weather obviously longer dresses (maxi) or trousers but if you want to swim and sunbath just go for it.

Not so much for my scar but when my psoriasis is bad, I try and get a sunbed close to the pool so I can get in quickly and wear an overdress until I get on a sunbed. That said in your situation I would just go for it (easy to say I know)

I have attached a picture of the kind of clothing I wore on my cruise (for dining) not because I think I am gorgeous!! Just to show what kind of things I decided on, yes I am now 6 years post bypass but I wore similar after the bypass. The only time I didn't was when doing face to face assessments for work as I didn't want candidates being put off in any way.

The only thing I would say is that in the early days you need to protect your scars, I went to Cyprus in the November following my June operation, I didn't cover up but slathered my scar with factor 50.

We've gone through enough so time to enjoy ourselves!

Dinner outfit

[gorillaqueen in reply to Heather1957]

Hi thank you so much for your reply. We love cruising but I’ve been thinking maybe those days are gone ( negative) starting to feel more positive and more like me, still some way to go but hopefully getting there. I’m normally very positive and don’t worry about what others think but this whole experience has definitely had its effect on me mentally as well as physically. Your comments have definitely helped.This is why this forum is so important. Have a lovely weekend.

[Heyjude31 in reply to gorillaqueen]

Hello, you will definitely get there. I am 16 months post CABG x 4 and I didn’t think I would cruise again. I have twice since my recovery. The first one after a year. Like you my psychological well-being as well as the physical had been a challenge. Mainly it had been my confidence. After dinner I am ready to retire to the cabin with a good book instead of going to any of the entertainment onboard. Again I think I was quite tired by then and I am quite introverted anyway. As Heather and I have said you will get there and the confidence comes back. Above all else been kind to yourself! 🥰

[gorillaqueen in reply to Heyjude31]

Hi thank you your comments have definitely given me a boost.

[Swalecliffe88 in reply to gorillaqueen]

Hello again Gorillaqueen. Glad to hear you are doing well and even planning a lovely holiday. Yes, I too coped and wore my chest scar with some pride as a survivor. But the leg scar took more time to get my head around particularly as the lower part opened up and became infected and took a long time to heal. We all deal with things differently and at our on pace, but I eventually went without the thick tights or the trousers. Some people you can see would look, others would notice and politely ask, but when told the reason would reply with some lovely and encouraging remarks that would often boost my confidence. You’re a survivor and the leg scar will eventually become unimportant to you. Good luck and enjoy your holiday.

[Handel]

What a lovely post Judi. Lots of love and hugs. Jan xxxx

[Heyjude31 in reply to Handel]

thank you too 🥰🥰🥰

[Cee-Cee1]

Brilliant post Heyjude - thank you. It's such a shame that such lovely people have left our little sanctuary due to feeling so hurt and frustrated by the words of a few. Carol x