Forgive me if I am a little old-fashioned but I trained in occupational therapy many years ago, when emotional and cognitive well-being were considered as important as exercise in recovery from both acute and chronic illnesses.
I notice on this forum and also the AF forum that people talk very freely about the benefits of exercise and how well or otherwise they are doing in the gym or hiking or whatever. Of course exercise is good for the heart, there is no denying it.
However, it is only one route. In my training
we learned a more holistic approach, and peoples different interests, values and beliefs were part of the assessment. We explored peoples needs in relation to a balance of work, play and activities of daily living. Within this, exercise was encouraged but so too was adapting to conditions, maintaining a social life and, dare I say it, having fun!
Recovery is a complex process and we live in a culture that appears to value fitness above all else. I find it extraordinary that it’s acceptable to discuss the various ins and outs of exercise and the relative value of Fitbit versus iWatch yet relegate humour to its own special compartment. Personally I find that without a sense of connection to others and space in my life to play I lose all motivation for exercise anyway!
Thanks for reading. Perhaps we need to make more space for individual differences and accept a wider understanding of the recovery journey.
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Rainfern
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Great post Rainfern , totally agree.As they say , you can't burn the candle at both ends , and treatment and exercise can only do their jobs well when we remember to pace ourselves and look after our minds with whatever makes us happy too,
I believe that you need a little of what’s good for the soul - usually that’s the kickstarter for everything else because if your head isn’t in the game, you often lack the motivation to increase your physical strength. You see it with football teams; they lose their belief in winning the game and their strategy falls apart and vice versa too.
I hope we can find a happy equilibrium for everyone as I have noticed several comments recently with members saying that they feel they don’t know where to post or that they need to monitor what they’re saying for fear of repercussions.
Thanks MummaSoap, I do feel perplexed by the social pressure on this forum and complaints about other members. It’s good our posts are monitored for misinformation and bad advice, but I don’t get how people are made to feel pariahs for inviting a bit of fun! 😊
I'm not going to go anywhere near the forum structure stuff, I don't think it's the post or place to do it but I did want to make a point about humour.Humour may not be the best medicine , but it is definitely a good one , and if done with kindness has no bad side effects.
Humour , on its own may not unblock your arteries , but it can help to relieve Stress and improve your Mental Health which we all know can make our heart conditions or management of our symptoms worse .
Sometimes , without a little humour and fun , the Negative Stresses of Modern Life and it's effect on our Mental Health can make us lose all motivation to exercise , eat healthily , and look after ourselves generally , often leading to a spiral that can contribute to us having block arteries, high blood pressure and in the extreme a heart crisis event.
I know I'd happily take a dose of Humour every day , and do , because it makes a significant impact on how well I feel every day just like my exercises and my medications.
And I appreciate every person's efforts to post with ideas of how I can feel better too.
I have a good exercise programme thanks! I’m lucky to live by the sea, lots of fab cliff path walks, woodland and wildlife. I wasn’t suggesting not to exercise and used to lead exercise and movement groups in nursing homes. I also studied motivational interviewing and learned that what motivates us to stick with eating well, taking exercise etc is as varied as there are individuals. The worst approach though is being judgemental and I hope I made it clear I was talking about a balanced approach with room for different approaches, not knocking exercise.
I think that you came across as very balanced. I think heartygoodfellow was being rude (suggesting that you were looking for an excuse not to excercise) so I have pressed the report button rather than reply to him or her as this is what Amy BHF asked people to do. Although I really want to tell him or her to wind their neck in.
Appreciate the thought Anon. My take is that sometimes people have such underlying stress and difficulty with how normal communication works and they don’t know how to cope with it. So they thrash out, often at those who could support them most. So that’s how I took Hearygoodfellows reaction. Perhaps I’m being naive! I was aware that my post could stir up some forum history, but for the main part I’m just amazed by how much wisdom, support and kindness there is on this forum and as someone who just had another failed cardioversion I can’t tell you how much it has helped motivate me to hear everyone’s stories here. 😊
I agree with you. To quote Heartygoodfellow 'Laughter will not clear your arteries of plaque' that much is true but I'd rather die laughing than with a 'face like a smacked ar*e'. To quote my Grandmother.😊😊
I really enjoyed reading your balanced and informative post, Rainfern, and would 'heartily' agree that our mental attitude is incredibly important in terms of living with an illness and how we respond to it. I also agree with Anon2023s post and feel that heartygoodfellow seems to be trying to 'perpetuate an argument' and was being rude, which has no place in this thread and have also pressed the report button.
HiYes I accept the benefits of exercise for us on our various journeys. I've always enjoyed an active life.
For me, now I'm in some sort of permanent Afib it's just as important; I just have to accept that I have to go much slower which can be very frustrating if I let it. I do keep one eye on the data, but I find yoga classes help me keep in touch with how my body feels; teaches me how to gently stretch myself physically and mentally within my abilities; that I will have good and not so good days and to stop and look at the nature around me.
Hi CM and thanks for this - bit of a wake-up call for me to get back to my Qigong! I’ve been feeling a bit sorry for myself after a recent failed cardioversion for Afib, and it’s good to hear you’re finding some acceptance and great ways to cope.
Of course it is a great disappointment to have a failed cardio version. So sorry it didn’t work. Will they try it again or do an ablation?
I believe wholeheartedly that mental attitude is all important and there is no doubt that humour is a great help. I have read that the mere lifting the corners of the mouth (even putting a pencil horizontally between your teeth to do it) gives you good endorphins which is cheering. Cannot possibly do any harm (unless the pencil has toxic paint on it). Being happier relieves stress which is beneficial for one’s health.
four weeks after OHS I have been walking every day, gradually increasing distance and can feel benefits, but it can be a bit tough. I will persevere, I understand recovery is in my hands. However, yesterday it poured with rain all day. My husband took me to the cinema and we saw the new Indiana Jones film. Absolute nonsense, but fun. While we sat in the stalls we were partners again, he wasn’t having to care for me, we were seeing a movie together. Didn’t think about my heart, had something to talk about on the way home and maybe I didn’t do 15 mins continuous walking, but I climbed two flights of stairs to get to the screen and then up the steps to our row, walked to and from the car park and laughed out loud. And I had the best night’s sleep I’ve had for months. That’s why I agree with your post Rainfern!
That’s wonderful Petitlady - and just by coincidence my husband and me have planned to see the new Indiana Jones film tomorrow! So your account brought smiles as well as a tear to my eye cos I know what it means to forget our heart conditions for a while and to go home laughing. It’s not easy but we can do it! Thank you.
Me too! My daughter is also trying to get us to do the "Must do Double Bill of the Summer ", according to social media .... Oppenheimer followed by Barbie!
I think a holistic approach is what is missing these days. Absolutely nothing in our minds and bodies works in isolation.You make some very good points, Rainfern.
In India, they have a great laughter therapy, you begin by just forcing a laugh out, in a group something incredible happens and before you know it the laughter is heartfelt and genuine.
I was extremely reluctant to join one of these groups, an invite from a friend, but in a park in the middle of Bombay it opened my soul.
Now I laugh out loud, I don't do the very British thing of hiding it.
Its been know about for years, who hasn't seen the laughing clown at funfairs and laughed along? of course you can pass by, but next time watch as the infection of laughter takes over.
Kids have it naturally , a lot of us have forgotten, or suppress it, let it out, let it go, if it doesn't help your heart, it certainly will your soul and they are connected ........
I know its odd isn't it but you are not alone, as stupid as it seems just try laughing out loud { be alone to start with or they will lock you up } something happens, sure its endorphin release Blah blah blah but give it a try, you tube will have vids, take care
Sorry to hear that Doglover3. I find sadness tries to tell me that I’ve always been that way and always will be. But sometimes an inner smile is more important than all the laughter in the world - so here’s some coming your way …😊😊😊
I'm afraid I'm the same. I've never been a laugh out loud person. Maybe I should start. I smile but even that's inside. The only time I've ever heard my husband laugh is when he's watching Dad's Army.Maybe we should start singing--
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you, Just smile
Oh my goodness I think I need some of this! Heartfelt and genuine I think is the key, and being open so anyone can join in! I know when I’m feeling down that other people laughing and joking can make me feel more isolated and lonely so just feeling happy for other people is helpful too. The Dalai Lama laughs a lot too, and never leaves anyone out!
Saying of my parent's generation - "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Great post Rsinfern. The mental side of our health is extremely important and should not be ignored. Exercise is very important, but enjoyment equally so. I absolutely love hill walking and get both simultaneously. A varied walking route in between trips to the hills is part of my regime... never the gym, as for me that has a negative effect mentally. Each to this own.
oh I used to love hill waking! So many beautiful places here in UK to explore too. Unfortunately I’m restricted to the flat now as I get so puffed on hills!
I'm very fortunate to be healthy enough... 71 and still climbing Munros. I just wonder when I will have to hang up my boots. Hopefully not for a long time yet. 😀
I’m in to much to exercise or walk much from my 10 year old bypass! I managed a slow flat walk of three quarters of a mile with a friend yesterday, but the pain is constant even sitting in the car coming home, or sitting watching tv it is always there, and osteo arthritis in hips and spine leg/ feet neuropathy totally P** d off luckily don’t get to breathless unless I talk to much or try and sing with the car radio as I can’t seem to fill my lungs , even tight when sitting eating🥴
Well done , that's a great achievement, especially with how much pain you are in and how low you have felt lately. You should be really proud of yourself . Big pat on the back and virtual hugs from me , Bee x
I totally agree and love how you put this! The thing that got me through my depression and anxiety when I was diagnosed was my friendship group and my husband. One friend came over on a very bad day for me when I couldn’t get out of bed and was so terrified I was about to have a HA. She sat and held my hand, managed to get me to eat something and somehow to get me up and out for a walk! Without those friends I would not be here and mentally I wouldn’t have recovered. Now I love nothing better than a walk with a friend and a good old chat, or as a treat,dinner out with a friend. You are so right that a connection to others is the key!
how right you are it it’s not easy to find someone to connect with. Most of my aquaintance have families and are fit and healthy and all get out together
I get my exercise by line dancing which I have done for over 20 years. Great music and people to socialise with which makes it fun. I returned to dancing 4 weeks after my aortic valve replacement 7 years ago
Absolutely. spot on. State of mind affects so many different parts of the body. My heart condition like many others was not caused by being a couch potato. I waked, did yoga and sailed my boat. Had to sell the boat in 2020 as I no longer had the strength or energy to operate her safely. BUT I still walk as much as I can and was delighted to find a chair yoga class with a superb teacher,the bonus being I have made a new circle of friends in addition to my buddies at the sailing club (who are a totally mad bunch) all who are supportive of each other, not forgetting my darling DH who frequently has me in stitches. Having something to look forward to or just sitting with a book you enjoy or listening to your favourite music or going to the cinema help feed your soul. On this heart journey my mantra has been ' Small victories, sometimes all you want, sometimes all you need.'
I love your mantra Silvasava. That will be just perfect for my day ahead too. When I wrote my post above I had no idea that I would be getting so much support for my own condition and state of mind. What a wonderfully supportive and kind forum this is!
I'm just so pleased you raised the subject. Many people on here are unable to exercise much if at all so anything that lifts spirits is a bonus. It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that you can no longer do what you used to, I'm one of them but have accepted that this is my 'new normal' and when I feel a bit despondent I give myself a mental slap as there are many who would happily change places with me! Small pleasures keep me going, it's just as important to support mental well-being. I too miss Andy and BK's exchanges. xxx
A friend’s advice to me was … have something to look forward to! Don’t let your illness define you.
My own journey includes having something else to focus on: I have joined a WILD FLOWER GROUP on face book.
I love the ping to say someone has posted!
People post photos of flowers they’ve seen often with requests for ID (many of which I’ve never seen) which then sets me off on researching all about them. And it’s made me want to get out and about to find wild flowers. They are everywhere when you start to look🌈
What beautiful photos, Lonmayloon - it looks incredibly peaceful. Thank you for sharing them. I spent years rearing local butterflies for release and have a great interest in all things lepidoptera. It's an incredibly life-affirming pastime and watching them grow and change, I feel, is a perfect analogy sometimes for our recovery from illness. Carol x
Hi Cee-Cee1, It is incredibly peaceful the only sounds are the cow bells and an alarm call from a marmotte. The number and variety of butterflies here really does lift the spirits. I was sitting very still observing them next a stream when a few butterflies settled on my hand. Along came a family with a couple of young children so I was able to show them what to do. They were thrilled (and it brought out the kid in me 😀).
wow you’ve said that brilliantly. I’ve only been accessing this site for about two years and over that time it’s changed a lot which is a huge shame. So I rarely post and only read stuff now and again. I’ve recently been approached by a researcher looking into the benefits of using online sites for support regarding your health. This is the only one I use, I’m not on Facebook twitter or anything else. When asked if I’d recommend online support to others ( as I said this is the only one I have experienced), I found a response difficult. In the end I said I’d tell people about the site, but it’s now very serious, it’s good for information on specific health questions but can get nasty at times. So don’t get reliant on it. I miss the joviality it used to have.
Me too, miss the joviality. For many, myself included, joviality is a strong way to cope with adverse circumstances. It kind of flows from people automatically the same as when we talk seriously about our health. Like you say, both matter.
I stopped doing Facebook etc as found it addictive but now wondering if I’m getting addicted to Healthunlocked! 😀
This is such a very very good point. Thankbyou for posting. I really hope the moderators are reading this re evaluate their assessment & banning of anything regarded as 'fun'. An holistic approach has been proven time and again to be most beneficial - I totally agree with you & your training .
But surely you understand how important humour is in relaxing people and cresting a feel good factor? No it may not affect plaque & arteries but it can relax others and therefore pisitively inpact heart rate and breathing which CERTAINLY will medically benefit many hearties on here, me included. Tey to relax and see the post for what it is, sound well informed advice.
Well said Rainfern. I find managing my very busy work and daily living hard enough, I don’t have enough energy left to do anything else, let alone go to the gym. I didn’t realise before I got ill that looking after your mental health takes energy too. I used to be a triathlete and run marathons so I do know how to push myself
Hi Heartygoodfellow, I was a keen mountaineer, triathlete and marathon runner my whole life and it didn’t stop me from getting heart disease. I ate healthily, never smoked and now I can hardly exercise at all. Frankly I feel cheated. Your post is a bit insensitive as it suggests that those with heart disease brought it on themselves, which I most certainly did not. No w I have to learn to live with this and that’s not easy when all I want to do is climb mountains and swim and I can’t.
hi. I can empathise completely. I’ve never smoked, I’m teetotal and eat tons of fruit and veg (I know that all sounds very boring 😂) and I still ended up with heart failure as a result of having rheumatic fever as a child. No amount of exercise could have prevented it, although I do appreciate how important it is now to stop it progressing. Equally important is good mental health as Rainfern says. Xx
Good point well said.I too was very fit, not over weight, ate well, and never smoked.
Then hit with angina without obstructed coronary arteries, at risk of major cardiac events without any of the usual risk factors.
Life certainly does bowl some of us a curved ball.
I miss my former life too.
The Portuguese have the word Saudade. It sort of means a wistful longing for our former Iives and grieving for the loss of the future we thought we were going to have.
I find Tai Chi, yoga and walking my dog brings me such fun to my life.
Millie takes me for a 3 mile walk every day. We go to salute a veteran oak most days.
The tree has seen so much, it's about 400 years old. It's still standing......
Absolutely agree with you there. I was a past athlete , coast lifeguard in my youth, a wild swimmer , coast steerer, hill walker and land artist whose day of work often started with me walking three miles with my kit through wilderness before I made something, often rather large using an axe , winch or chain saw.The heart related part of my illnesses stripped me of my passion and work for sometime as well as stopping me from doing the types of exercise I most enjoyed.
So, when it's already hard to come to terms mentally with the changes it's made ten times harder by people shaming you for not exercising as much , or , implying you will bring bad health back on yourself if they don't think you are doing enough.
It was only maintaining my mental health , being honest with myself , and others , about my conditions and how they effect me, accepting it , and adapting what I could , whilst still trying to be able to laugh at myself as I did it that got me where I am today.
I found photography, not just to use as part of my art tools as before but as my main creative outlet. I can walk or move less and take photographs as I go or do it at home. I'm even getting commissions now .
I walk as I can with my Nordic Walking Sticks for safety and must take a companion, I miss being in the great outdoors alone but it's also brought me and my hubby closer.
I use my recumbent bike at home in front of virtual bike rides via YouTube so I feel like I'm still out and about.
I do tai chi, quigong , low impact pilates and aqua exercises in a pool but always within my comfort zone to gradually build up my progress. Consistency is key not pushing and regretting it.
All done while laughing at myself if things go wrong because I learnt being impatient with myself didn't help makes things better.
You are still You , and the strong , unique You that You always were , it's just what you do that changes.
When we had a heatwave a few weeks ago and I felt good and actually got back into swim in the sea for the first time in four years rather than paddling in it. I've hardly done a stroke so far , in old days terms , it wasn't the exercise that counted . It was the mental health boost of floating in the sea , making another little breakthrough and doing something similar to what I loved.
So , we all get there , it's just the destination that changes , but keeping our spirits on the journey is what helps us on the way.
Hi, lovely post and very apt. I never thought about how little we laugh until a couple of weeks ago. I was in Portugal with my bestie of nearly 50years and as you do we went out for dinner, I ordered what I thought was veal and all I describe it as is a thing on my plate tough enough to sole your boots, the chips were raw crisps, it was awful, I just left the lot I couldn't even cut it! and then the waiter came over with the bill and said the words that set us off " would you like to take home"
we couldn't get away quick enough and by the time we got to next bar we were like two school girls hanging on to each other and belly laughing I think the waitress thought there was something wrong with us we couldn't order a drink without bursting out laughing. It will be remembered for a very long time 😅😅we had such a great holiday. I agree we should definitely laugh more often. I am not too good with diet and exercise, I have never liked it and I hardly walk anywhere, I definitely could do with some motivation. Char
My daughter is an OT and she said the same thing when I told her what had had happened on this forum lately. I think the fact we are now all scared to post is terrible and no good for our souls Talking and discussing other things ,books,music anything in fact we enjoy and a few jokes is an important part of coping especially for those who are mainly stuck at home unable to go out and enjoy themselves being able to do this online is a lifeline and now we are being pushed out Life is for living and that means despite our limitations we find enjoyment in the things we can still do and we can reach out to others give advice , and talk about everything we enjoy, have a laugh and the BIG THING feel connected with others
I agree with this so much and it’s great to hear that occupational therapy is still encouraging such wonderful values! Good on your daughter 😊 Personally I have found that many of those here who share fun and happy aspects of their lives are often those who are also supportive and who are able to express the difficulties of life with heart conditions the best. At the same time my heart is with those people who cannot share in the joy of others and need everything in the strictest of the order. In the end I do think compassion works best!
Yep well said…I totally agree with your sentiments.
Definitely need to have fun along this journey.I have now accepted that life won’t be as I thought it would be and to embrace that and live the best life I can.
Yep it is tough and when it comes out of the blue and very unexpected it is hard to get your head around…I’ve had a cardioversion,two ablations(one where I had big complications)and now have cardiomyopathy,but new meds I’m on are improving my ejection fraction,so am really happy with that!
I read recently that Richard E Grants wife said to him before she died to try to find ‘a pocketful of happiness in each day’…thought that was lovely and a good one to remember when times are tough that actually we can still enjoy ourselves even when things are hard.🌞
what a good post and I personally agree.. It's important to look after your physical and mental well being.
Personally if I'm not in a good place mentally and I'm stressed I find my blood pressure goes up which isn't good with my condition. So both is important.
Like I said to Twinkle Toes, it’s tough isn’t it. I didn’t realise what hard work it is to stay sane til I had heart trouble of my own! Wishing you space to relax and breathe and find small joys each day.
Thank you , what an amazing tree. Glad there was an expand function for the photo, with my eye sight as it is (and not knowing that Millie was black ) I was playing spot the dog for a minute or two. What a beauty and a great balancer Millie is , take care , Bee
Not at all ,it doesn't mean that people are being hysterical on this forum if they disagree with you.Just as it doesn't mean that we think you are being hysterical when you disagree with others ,
although we may find the way you give your views rather impolite, inconsiderate and counterproductive to a positive debate.
No one here is ganging up on you but you may find the lack of support for your opinion feels like that to you.
I believe , Wildswimmer and others , like myself , are referring to your earlier reply when you unfairly and inaccurately implied that Rainferns considered opinions were just , " her looking for an excuse not to exercise". This sort of exercise shaming to another forum member at a different point in their cardiac journey to you is inappropriate.
Neither was the point you referenced in this reply an indication that Rainfern, or others don't find exercise as important in their Self Care.
Again , I think that you may have read it as being such because your reading of our comments is being coloured by your own views on the subject.
We all know the importance of exercise and treatment , but we also all accept that those are only two sides of the Self Care Triangle. Maintaining good mental health is the third side and equally important in a rounded recovery.
Voicing the opinion that people have brought it on themselves doesn't help them feel any better on their journey to recovery , or motivate them to change different life choices , and is not caring or supportive.
It also doesn't answer the question about the many people whom looked after themselves like me but still got cardiac issues, or those that never look after themselves and don't get health problems.
Looking for whom to blame in finding causes for health problems is quite a short sighted view.
You must have read the word "Personally" as you re-quoted it from the OP's post, we all understand that its the "personal " view of the OP and we choose to answer knowing that.
Even if - and I stress even if - some people brought heart disease upon themselves by lifestyle choices, that is only a detail. The fact is that the heart disease or event has happened now, so what is important is how those people decide to deal with their current situation and their future. There is no earthly point in criticising people for their past choices, but there is every point in encouraging them to work with all aspects of their recovery as Rainfern advocates in her original post.
It also may be more helpful all round if you dialled back your abrasive and/or rude approach when posting.
You , of course , are welcomed to have your own opinion and respected for that. I'm sure many others will find my comments valid and in no way condescending.We are all encouraged to " jump in" or reply to others within a post if we see a reply ( no matter whom it was directed to )that we would like to respond to.
Such is the nature of an open forum .
If you only wish to send your comments to an individual member and not have it discussed by others you can of course voice your opinions to them in PM.
I'm an ex Qualified Psychiatric Nurse. I trained in the 1980s and had qualified when Holism came in. I totally embraced it, so I get what you mean. I can't exercise easily as am riddled with osteoarthritis top of neck to bottom of spine, in every joint in my fingers, hands and wrists. Oh and my ribs to an extent. I have a programme from Physio, who swiftly discharged me. I had covid in April and 3 weeks ago, after a 7 day event monitor, I was given the diagnosis of Atrial Fibrillation via my Gp. I have Hypermobile Spectrum Disorder too. So I've put my exercise on hold while I await treatment advise to Gp from Cardiologist. The only thing keeping me going, through dizziness, palpitations and breathless episodes is my humour. I think we do well to remember laughter is the best medicine.
I have to say your post was so motivational and full of warmth and sincerity, truly a ray of hope for a rather mechanical and almost cold place to visit when one needs almost every facet of your message.
I had my entrance entitlement to the group four years ago when I had a small heart attack followed by a triple heart bypass. I came here to learn, for friendship and a safe place to be able to let ones hair down, have some fun along with all of the other important stuff.
The group was full of warmth although there was a feeling being on the inside, looking in and who policed almost everything one posted and within the space of 8 months or so and like so many folk here, I came up against the “masters” who behind my back, reported me to the moderators for inappropriate strong willed posts and to “wind my neck in” Like you, I need laughter, at least the will to allow others to be friendly but when I tried, it was inappropriate behavior.
After so many upsets, it became clear I was on a hit list and eventually left the group.
Two years after the bypass surgery I needed a pacemaker fitted and again, came back to the group for advice and reassurance about my health and prognosis. What did I find? Yes you got it, just the same nastiness, overpowering comments with a hierarchy of membership.
Now all that said and after dipping my toe in from time to time, I am met with your post in my post a few days ago, It was so heartwarming and yes inspirational, that I copied it to be able to come back to as and when I felt the need to read it again. All your comments and suggestions read, there is still just the one word missing from suggested diets and exercise etc and the word missing is “appropriate”
No one has ever thought about getting to grips with what might be possible for those with other medical problems, for the more elderly and infirm or just appropriate exercise for ones situations. My situation was one of good health after the bypass surgery although there were and are ongoing instances of blips although this appears to be the learning curve of one’s limitations, given everything I have learned here. However, there still appears to be the “experts” the intolerance to change that even extends to how much fun we are allowed each day, any more having been banished to another place. Humanity, kindness, friendship being cut out from this place leaves a cold, mechanical area full of sick people.
Well that’s not for me, that is but for Rainferns post who has, in one foul swoop, been able to list just about everything that is wrong with and missing from this site and then what transpires is a list of people who support his views, that is apart from one person. But please for a moment, reflect upon those who did not post, the experts, the serious medical advisors, the policers of humour. Perhaps this all means we are actually witnessing a need for change for there are clearly enough people that believe change is drastically needed and fast. The only problem now is, how democratic the hierarchy is to change. The very first thing I would do is to scrap the humour site, allowing the process of the light hearted moment to return once more to its rightful place.
I have one further addition to my health that now makes exercise (as we know it) almost impossible, that being levo scoliosis. Levoscoliosis is a type of scoliosis in which the spine curves to the left, sometimes causing the spine to make a ‘C’. From a side view, the spine normally curves at the neck and lower back, forming a wide “S” spine. However, when viewed from the back and front, the spine usually appears straight. Now I have something else to consider each day and that is the pain that I have to deal with. So many things now changed forever. I don’t need “telling off” I need understanding and support.
Hello Kelling and thank you for your response to this wonderful thread. Although I did indeed start the conversation there have been so many inspiring contributions here and as you say a big desire for recognition of the many factors involved in recovery and adaptation to our many and varied conditions.
I’m so sorry to hear your experience on this forum has not always been a happy one, and clearly you are not alone in this. Like you I’d like to see the humour corner scrapped. I find the whole idea of it perplexing and rather sad - is it some place where they put the naughty ones? I think it would be better to recognise people’s needs and the many ways we find to cope and to communicate. We’re all different, and we don’t have to read posts about the importance of warmth, connection and laughter if we don’t want to!
In my work my aim was always to empower people, and in every organisation I ran into trouble sooner or later with people who felt the need to be in control. In the end I found the best way was to ignore them! I think that if enough of us keep posting our own experiences and thoughts we can very gently turn things around and no one need feel threatened by laughter or the way genuine support is built.
I hope you find ways to cope with your scoliosis on top of everything else. Never be feared of posting about your experiences - we all need to talk, that’s why we’re here and not just researching on the internet. Heart conditions can be the scariest of things too - and I just have a small problem with the electrics!
I’m sure this whole conversation will be kept alive now, and I hope people will ignore any mean comments (like one post above!) which just sets up arguments and fights that go nowhere.
What a wonderful, supportive and enlightening post, Kelling - I think you've managed to express, so succinctly, exactly what 99.999% of the members here feel. Thank you so much for sharing your views.
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