Depression after heart attack and colitis flare up

[BSA20]

I recently posted that I had my first heart attack and was struggling with my emotions and many of you kindly sent messages of support. I have now been diagnosed with depression and have been reassured that it is very common. After a very tearful telephone appointment with my GP she prescribed 15mg of Mirtazapine. Even after just one pill there was an improvement but after the second one I felt on top of the world and felt as if I was going to explode with energy but sadly felt it was not right to feel this good way too soon. I had a word with my Rehab lady who said this was not right and I couldn't tolerate them and advised me to stop them. Now my colitis has flared up and I have had to go on a high dose of descending steroids for 6 weeks. Have had to cancel my covid and flu vaccinations for the third time because of the steroids. Each morning I look at my plastic box of pills and think "they are keeping me alive" and hopefully in the New Year my thoughts will brighten. I am 70 years old and my Mum died at 70 from a huge stroke and can't get this out of my mind, Sorry to be so depressive but my husband doesn't understand and I just need to communicate with others who do understand. Thank you for reading and understanding,