My husband had a sudden heart attack on Sunday evening and was rushed into hospital and had a stent fitted. Luckily he seems pretty normal and is back home recovering.
Due to how major the heart attack was,he has now been told that he has heart failure as his ejection fraction is at 25%.
My husband has been a very heavy smoker for the past 31 years and obviously this hasn't helped matters. He is using nicotine replacements but is getting really stressed out, angry and anxious.
Has anyone ever had something similar and carried on with the smoking? Even if it was to quit gradually?
I feel awful for him but I keep telling him it's for the best, don't think he agrees.
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Jess_Chadd1979
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There is no real justification to continue smoking in today's day and age given the well publicised serious harm it can do to your health, and that is especially true of someone with known heart problems just as much as someone with respiritory conditions. As I understand it there is help available on the NHS to help people quit smoking. I suggest you get him to try that. However, if he persists, even though you may feel sorry for him, I would tell him he is being very selfish, in view of the continued risk he is placing not only himself, but you and any others who are close to him.
I last smoked in 1975 but there are still occasional situations where I fancy a cigarette but don't. I will now relate the issue with smoking for heart patients.
A firmer neighbour needed stents and was told he had to quit smoking and eat more healthily. He continued to smoke and eat fry ups, and a year later needed further stents. Staggeringly he repeated this scenario. Shortly after he moved complaining about local cardiac care!
A friend's partner had a bypass. They had given up smoking so the surgeon would go ahead. Shortly after they resumed smoking and were buried less than a year later.
Smoking both narrows the arteries and causes irritation often a precursor to plaque formation. Your husband needs to get help (freely available on the NHS as Hidden has pointed out). The jury is out on vaping but overall it does not seem a sensible option. Good luck to him in giving up!
I have to agree with all three posts so far. I stopped smoking four years ago before I had a bypass. Surgeon advised me that my recovery would be so much easier by not smoking. And as Michael had said if he does not realize that it will only get worse then I am sorry but he is living in cloud cuckoo land. Hound him and get other family members to stress how important it is to stop. It will not be easy but it will give a longer life
Come on, people! 😳 It’s obvious your comments are well-meaning and intended to come from a place of support and empathy.. BUT - whether any of you have suffered an addiction before or not - PLEASE be aware that ANY adult with a functioning brain is FULLY AWARE of the dangers of smoking! They ‘need’ help, support, encouragement. They do NOT need ‘pressuring’, ‘guilt-tripping’, ‘judgement’ or ´talking to’/advising as if they are stupid. 🤦♀️
Jess, I feel for you - and your husband - please do everything you can to take good care of YOURSELF (and your husband) at this very worrying, frustrating and stressful time.. I hope so much, you’ll both be able to get all the positive help you need and turn this situation around very quickly.. 🙏💕
How dare you. Have you actually read any of the replies? I smoked for forty years and gave up without outside support. Realizing you have a problem is the first step and that is a fact for anyone addicted. I noticed nothing on your bio to give me a clue to your heart problems or life experience. 🤬
If I, as a former heavy smoker, and millions of others can give smoking, with or without support, in my case without, then so can the next man or woman. But if the softly softly approach doesn't seem to work, maybe they need reminding of their responsibilities not just to themselves but to those who are around them and who may be directly affected should things turn for the worse. And if that means being blunt about it so be it.Finally any debate about the link between smoking and stupidity is in my view best avoided.
Totally agree. I was a smoker for years and knew the dangers, but family members “hounding” me, which they did, with good intentions, was so counterproductive and just made me unhappy, guilty, and encouraged me to smoke more.In the end I finally stopped when they stopped being belligerent and gave up on the constant nagging. I did it for me, not for anyone else.
Smoking is known to be one of, if not the most addictive habits known to man. He needs loving support and empathy, not constant criticism.
Personally I agree that being on someone’s back all the time is not very productive however as someone with an addiction to sugary treats, so I was only harming myself and not others, I felt that it was my duty to respect the work of the doctors, the cardiac team and NHS and to reconsider my lifestyle. I know my family appreciates my efforts to exercise more, lose weight, eat and drink sensibly. I now question my choices and only eat treats on special occasions. I do it because I want to see my grandchildren grow up and be around to enjoy my family and not be a burden to them. ❤️
Been an ex smoker and before then trying to cut down with a view to stopping it never works as before you know where you are you are back to smoking the same amount again
He is going to feel the withdrawals and he will miss the habit as well as coming to terms with his heart condition but when he has got through the first few weeks it will get better he has to ride the storm as we say
In a cigarette it is the nicotine we get addicted to and he is still getting that at the moment in the patches the rest of the chemicals in a cigarette are not addictive but not good for us so a lot can be mind over matter when we are trying to stop
Things like starting to put the money he would have spent on cigarettes to one side and thinking of what when he has saved enough up he can use it for instead can be an incentive
Getting something he can fidget with in his hand as we miss that action of having something in our hand can also help
I know this will be a stressful time but he can do it and with each day he does he is a step closer to been a non smoker
I remember when my Dad years ago had his heart attacks he was a smoker and goodness was his temper bad when he stopped we felt we needed to wave a white flag before we could approach him but it passed and he stopped and never looked back
There is also a non stop smoking Community on Health Unlocked you can join and get extra tips and advice , I will put you the link on so you can take a look
Let us know how he gets on and how you are doing to x
Smoking contributes to heart attacks 100% of the time, every time.
I smoked for 26 years, and quit when I had my MIs because I finally realised that it would kill me if I didn’t. Mileage may vary but I switched to a vape (much cleaner) to get me off the fags.
Is giving up smoking going to make any significant difference to his quality and quantity of life? It’s the “correct” thing to do and the long term benefits are considerable but if he’s going to make himself and you miserable it may not be worth it. It will be difficult to find a doctor who will tell you the truth about wether or not it’s giving up will improve his prognosis because they all, like most of the answers, automatically tell you it will even if it isn’t true.
I agree with this , I had a mini stroke many years ago and the doctor told my husband that I should not give up smoking or drinking as it would cause me stress .
I’d been smoking for over 55 yrs when I had my first heart attack in 2019 and the shock made me stop immediately. Way I see it is I think I’ve more chance of living longer now without fags - who knows if that’s right for me or not but I’m happy to make that call - no matter what the withdrawal symptoms are!👍 PS…I’d also tried a bit of vaping before the HA but cut that out as well!
Hi there. I feel for you as I was worried like that for my Mum many years ago. In her later years she ‘stopped’ or so she said … but all her windows in her house were open whenever I visited ( every day actually) and when accused of smoking again by me she denied it lol ….I don’t mean to make fun here just to point out it’s down to the smoker to decide … not family friends or doctors … it’s not easy unless the smoker wants to stop more than anything . I got such a fright having my heart attack 2 years ago. Here on my own … I was in such pain I can’t even tell you … paramedics were great but very very fast in getting me to heart specialist hospital … my point here …. Drifting in and out hooked up to God knows how many machines I swore I would never touch another cigarette and luckily for me I never have. Smoked since I was 16 so even my family held out little hope I would stop. It can be done … in my case I was too scared to go through all that again. Everybody is different but what won’t help is constantly remarking on his smoking. You’ve told him how you feel. He will stop in his way in his own time.
First of all, I am sorry this has happened to you both, you must be going through so many emotions just now and it is still very early days. My Husband had a heart attack 7 months ago aged 55 and had smoked for almost 40 years. He is also now living with a reduced EF. On the smoking subject, he couldn't smoke while in hospital, when I got him home he tried vaping but after only a couple of days he decided that it wasn't for him. He went cold turkey. It was hard and he still gets the urge but he did it. I wish you both all the best and when you have any other questions or concerns, ask on here, this group helped me so much, I am sure it can help you too.
Dear Jess_Chadd1979
No long speech { that will be a first } from me because even after stopping smoking I could quite easily take the fag out of your husbands mouth and run off down the road smoking it.
Like many others I made every and any excuse that I could to not stop something that I enjoyed and at no stage did I ever feel that it was a dirty habit coming from me or others.
So what is going on here then? It was more than addiction with me and more of a habit, it was sheer pleasure and that was the problem, removing something that I enjoyed so much from my day to day life.
I even smoked { in the smoking room } while I was ill in hospital with cancer, but that was an age when we really didn’t know better and I think that is the secret, we know better, we have more facts, we now have the knowledge to make up our own minds, because it really is true, smoking unfortunately kills us.
At the moment you both have enough stress coping with the illness that has been trust on you both, its time to step back and get things back to some form of normality, then and only then do I think that you have a chance of realising that smoking lives in your past and that there is no need for it in your future.
I notice also how young you are and I feel for your worry as this terrible illness took hold.
You will get through this, small steps, small steps and breath, take time for yourselfs start planning your new life together and you will soon find that the fags have no place in it anymore.
Hi, I was told in May 2021 to stop smoking as I had a blocked iliac artery. It was very difficult but I stopped via a 12 week programme ran by my local pharmacy. They offered free patches, which I used, and an assortment of nicotine tabs or gum, I found the gum, which is placed inside the cheek and not chewed very helpful, it was the only thing to help the cravings. It took me a full 12 months to be "Happy" about not smoking. It is a terrible addiction and I still occassionally want a cigarette but now choose not to have one. I really hope your husband can get the support to stop, it really is lifechanging, emotionally you are no longer tied, financially you save a fortune, physically you stop poisoning your body and personally you no longer smell dreadful. Good Luck to both of you, it is hard, but worth it
The damage has already been done and if the damage cannot be repaired - valve repairment or bypass - then stopping smoking now will probably make little difference. If him smoking becomes a source of tension between you then it will make you both unhappy. He has to really want to stop himself.
I'm sorry you and your hubby are in this position, and I'm equally sorry for some of these holier than thou comments. IMO they aren't helpful. I have always thought, if someone wants to give up bad enough they will do it, but, having lived with a smoker for over 30 years, I've come to realise that's not the case x Help, kindness, support are what's needed, and you'll also need help and support, because you are going to want to throttle him! He will make every excuse his reason to not quit.
If there's any chance of getting him to hypnotherapy it might be worth a try, but, if your hubby is like mine, sceptical of anything that's outside the 'norm' good luck.
I hope he quits for his health but, realistically he probably wont.
My hubby is a smoker, has been for over 35 years, I've never smoked, and over the years he's tried numerous times to stop, manages for a few days, weeks or months and then something just triggers his need and he's straight back to where he was.
That's a good call on hypnotherapy - it won't work for everybody of course. My wife was a smoker years ago and simply couldn't give up (thankfully, she has no heart issues - that was only me, ironically the non-smoker). I tried everything to encourage her to stop - nagging, varying levels of attempts at persuasion, encouragment, all failed.
She suggested hypnosis and I thought it would be £300 down the drain, but no harm in trying given how much a year's worth of cigarettes cost. It worked first time, and 12 years later she hasn't smoked a single cigarette. So if you can spare whatever it costs nowadays for hypnotherapy, and your husband is okay to give it a try, I'd say it is worth a shot. I doubt it will work first time for everybody, and for some it may not work at all, but I don't think any harm (other than financial) can come from it. Good luck!
It's a shame that the some of 'holier than than thou' comments have made you feel sorry. Whilst we are all different, any approach to get someone to stop smoking is worthwhile especially if something ultimately succeeds. I also know someone who was a non-smoker with a husband who smoked. Over the period I knew him his COPD, caused by years of smoking cigs, got progressively worse, and he certainly regretted smoking before he was diagnosed and stopped in response to the diagnosis and deteriorating lung health. Towards the end of his life he required increasing support not just from the NHS which included frequent trips to the hospital with chest infections and round the clock oxygen, but also from a devoted wife who slowly watched as her husband slowly slid towards the inevitable. Now that did make me feel sorry.
Hi, am so sorry your husband and you are going through this. Tell him to hang in there, the cravings do eventually go. Grab all the support he can, whatever works. I tried patches, didn't work and tried every vape. It was the vape that worked for me. 3 years smoke free. He can do it!
Good Morning Jess just a quick reply really I smoked for 49 years until I had two heart attacks and a triple bypass I don’t really know what your husband is going through but I know what I went through Anxiety anger frustration I took it out on my wife and family I had panic attacks I was so angry with everything I so much wanted a cig I went to the doctors and they gave me something to take the edge off how was feeling and with the nicorette inhaler I’m over 12 months free from smoking 30-40 cigs a day we have to remember he has been addicted to cigs for a long time all I can say there is support out there if ever wants to chat he can always message me it’s not him it’s he’s addiction and I know it’s not nice for you to again I don’t know if it helps Graham
Wow you’ve had a lotta replies here and many of them with well meaning first hand experience of how they stopped smoking and that’s fantastic and very well meaning , however none of them are your husband or you , so the stories ( and I mean this graciously ) mean shit . They aren’t you , supportive yes but not helping the situation right now . So an alternative look at it . Have you tried him cutting down , one smoke in the morning with his tea like he would have normally? Maybe one after lunch ? One after dinner ,, one before bed . Four cigarettes or five a day is better than 20 . Cutting down might be easier for him than going cold turkey. Good luck .
I would like to say how sorry I am for you and your family. How very hard it must be to put up with all this and whether or not he gives up, the stress must be horrific for you. Please take time to find something that you can do for yourself away from home even if it's a coffee for a hour with a magazine, swimming, yoga etc etc. Whatever will make you feel a bit better. I think by now you must look after your own well being if he's not willing to stop for either of you. Wishing you well. 💐
Seven years ago I was in hospital for 2 weeks with pneumonia. I have never smoked since, and for me it was the easiest thing I had ever done . I was a smoker for 50 years, but didn’t want to ever go through that illness again. Good luck with everything.
I had a heart attack ‘due to smoking’ 4 years ago at 43 y.o. & had 2 stents installed…
I quit smoking that day after smoking since I was 12. Not had a single one since & yet still crave one at least once a week. I was given patches but they made me feel worse, so had to just go with willpower & the fact I was too Ill to walk to the shops to buy any.
The thing that keeps me from having one is the thought that I feel 💩 most of the time & on hot or cold days my breathing isn’t great, so imagine how bad I’d feel if I was smoking as well. It almost killed me once, not going to give it a second chance.
Worse thing anyone can do is to preach or quote stats about smoking to a smoker, they know the risks & it has to be their choice, however why PAY to shorten your life more than you already have. Save the money & grab a couple of extra years 👍
(P.S. saying all of that I still look at people with jealousy every time & if wasn’t for covid would probably shimmy up close to them just for a whiff 🤫)
I had been smoking since I was 18. Got a heart attack at age 41. I got 2 stents. I was too shocked that I got a HA at such a young age. I was physically quite fit. Apart from shock, I went through a range of other emotions, guilt, shame, feeling broken etc... I think I didn't dare to smoke after my HA just out of guilt and shame.
A heart attack is no small event for the person who goes through it.. Smoking or not you are bound to go through a range of emotions, anger and irritabilty included... Everyone is different so the emotions can vary from one person to another.
A life threatening event can sometimes change the whole outlook to life, including change the idea of the self that we have been carrying all along. For me it did.. So I decided that I wanted to change... With that also came the decision to quit smoking and alcohol. So I quit. What also helped was this book by Allen Carr - Easy way to quit smoking. I think I need to give a lot of credit to this book in keeping me free of smoking... It's 2 years since my HA and since I stopped smoking.. Still going strong.
Having said that, I know how powerful nicotine addiction is. And I realize how lucky and fortunate a few like me are who are able to quit smoking. So I believe the decision to quit is a personal choice.
Hi there - I was a forty to fifty a day smoker - 34 years ago - I wanted to stop but I was addicted - so just cutting down or stopping wasn’t possible - being an addict means you don’t have that level of control !!! You have no control ! The addiction has the control I had hypnotherapy because I knew I could never stop alone no matter how much I wanted to . And I’ve never had a cigarette since . But I’m still a nicotine addict - one puff and I’d be back to 40 a day .
He knows as we all do smoking isn’t the healthy option and telling an addict to shape up and quit is hot air and causes them stress which increases the desire to smoke !
He needs to want to stop once he accepts that he can get a shed load of help - try anything and everything hypnosis worked for me but now there are patches , pills and these new nicotine pouches called snus ( very common in Scandinavia ) which are all nicotine but not smoking .
Good luck to him and you watching someone hurt themselves is tough but be strong I’m sure he’ll find a way .
What motivated me was the fear of the shame of going back there. The first doctor pleaded with me to stop smoking as I had done the damage (three narrowed arteries six stents) to myself. OH still smokes. I try not to take it second hand.
Hi Jess, I am sorry to hear what has happened. I was an extremely heavy smoker and I suffered three heart attacks and ended up with by pass surgery. During the surgery it was found I had COPD, Type 2 Diabetes and the inferior side of my heart was too badly damaged to be viable for CABG. This was all caused by lifestyle choices. If I had carried on smoking I would not be here now. The incredible work done by ambulance staff, doctors, nurses, the time in intensive care, the rehabilitation teams, and my partner and those around me would count for nothing if I was so selfish as to have carried on smoking. It is eleven years since I gave up - I stopped dead, yes about a week of hell and temper tantrums, but they pass. A glass of water when a craving hits works! Cravings last about a minute. It requires a change of mental attitude to smoking, but if I could do it from 60 to 100 a day then anyone can. You have to want to. Since then, I have walked from London to Birmingham to find a brother I knew nothing about,I am taking a degree and getting married in 15 days time. None of this would be possible if I still smoked and I might as well have not bothered with treatment.
" He is using nicotine replacements but is getting really stressed out, angry and anxious."
If he still hasn't had a cigarette, then that's a good opportunity. I would explain to him that he's getting exactly the same as he would from a cigarette from the replacements.
The stress, anger and anxiety he is feeling is not about being able to smoke. Its about what has happened to him on Sunday night; and it won't go away just because he puts some burning leaves in his mouth. If anything there's a chance that smoking will just add to the anxiety because he knows now more than anything that he shouldn't be doing it.
His whole life just changed in a massive way, and all of us who have been through it, have to come to terms with what just happened to us. Whether we smoked or lived the healthiest life imaginable (ex-smoker here).
We are all given the gift of a second chance, but we all have to also deal with why we needed it, and that can be tough.
I fortunately have never smoked but it seems to me that his desire to continue smoking is the equivalent of 'comfort eating' because of stress.
I have copied this from elsewhere;
"What does it mean when your ejection fraction is low?
A very low ejection fraction may be caused by an acute event (namely a heart attack) or by a chronic situation (“congestive” or chronic heart failure). Chronic heart failure is extremely common, and its chief causes are coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, a sedentary lifestyle, obesity, smoking and untreated sleep apnea."
Your EF CAN be improved by a change in lifestyle. Giving up smoking is top of the list, but appropriate exercise (walking is good) eating properly, getting enough sleep and losing weight will all help.
I don't know if your husband is competitive, but perhaps you can suggest he sets a goal to substantially improve his EF which will entail him getting involved with the manner in which this can be done and engaging with his consultant to ensure he is setting realistic goals. Reducing, then stopping smoking will certainly be part of any programme
If having a major heart attack doesn’t wake him up to the fact he needs to do something about his smoking I really can’t think anything you do or don’t do will help him either sadly - he’s a grown man , he can make his own decisions based on information he will no doubt have been given - I feel for you as you have to tolerate his grumpiness , stress and anger , I really do . I wish my Dad had stopped smoking , he was a heavy smoker , only found out he had heart disease when he died at 56 , he has missed so much and so have we , mum apparently hated him smoking and tried to discourage him - these are the stark truths of this illness. I don’t smoke , none of his children do or grandchildren , yet I still seem to have needed up with heart disease in spite of all my efforts to keep it at bay. I hope somehow the light dawns on him ....
I really can’t imagine a GP in current practise giving advice to continue smoking for your health .... there are other ways of dealing with stress and anxiety
Hi Jess. It took me 4 months to give up smoking after my serious heart attack. I was going through the most traumatic period of my life and everyone nagging me about smoking just made everything 10 times worse. Give him time; he's probably terrified at the moment. xx
Excuse me, but, exactly where did I criticise anyone that has made changes to their lifestyles?I didn't say I feel sorry for the holier than thou commenters.
I think you have misread or misinterpreted what I wrote.
"The kindness and support you have no doubt provided has not actually worked by the sound of things, sadly some people seem to be beyond help"
You don't think that's rude or insulting, if taken in context?
And no, imo those types of comments aren't helpful, I wasn't "having a go" at anyone. I don't think using bulling tactics or talking to someone like their stupid is going to help, the right help is needed, but, that kind of help isn't.
It would appear that we will not see these things in the same way, and I'm not going to discuss this with you any further, enjoy the rest of your day
Any addiction can be overcome - if the addict wants to stop. If they don’t want to stop, they won’t. Took me several tries, now over a year smoke free. Still miss them, but no intention of starting again.
As a ex smoker myself although only for a few years. I’m not going to start preaching the dangers of smoking because everybody knows about the dangers including your husband. I may sound blunt but the bottom line is…….
Your husband either has the determination and will to stop. Or not.!!!
Hopefully he will eventually realise that stopping smoking is the rite way to go.?
Thank you for all the comments. I really didn't mean this to cause any arguments 😕 I just wanted some help.
So he went 4 days smoke free after his heart attack. Which considering how much he smoked and how much he depended on it made me really proud.
We've had some long talks over the past few days. He broke today and had his first one. However he said it tasted disgusting and he wants to stop. Which is maybe what he needed?
Having that one has also made his mood improve dramatically as I think the thought of "wanting what you can't have" has gone.
Hes now making an effort to quit by not complaining and using the nicotine replacements. If he has 1 a day for the rest of his life and he's happy then I can compromise with that.
That’s absolutely FANTASTIC news to hear.. 👍 A huge ‘well done’ to your husband (& to you for hanging in there)! Lots of luck, strength and very best wishes to you both.. 🙏❤️
PS: If the cigarette ‘tasted disgusting’, then the Allen Carr method may well ‘work’ for your husband.allencarr.com/easyway-stop-...
Well Jess_Chadd1979 your OP question has provided an unusually large number of responses with a significant divergence of opinion on the advice given, and related experiences. So it would very useful, at least for me, to know what you make of it all. That said I and others will understand if you are struggling to cope with your new situation. And certainly on that I wish you well, whatever happens.
Please check Allen Carr Quit Smoking on the internet.....I am a clinical hypnotherapist who helps people quit calmly and easily....using Carr's approach and hypnosis. If there are any courses given near you ...attend them. Carr has written a book about this but direct courses are best!
Carr quit without urges, cravings or nic fits because it had reached the stage where they would kill him. Carr desparately wanted to quit but nothing would work for him until he cleverly analyzed what was really going on...and he quit overnight without any stress...and your husband can as well. the key factor is that
your husband wants to quit strongly. If that is so, Carr will help him avoid the hell he is currently going through.
My father had his first heart attack at 44 having smoked heavily from his teens. He continued smoking and had a further devastating heart attack at 46. After that he gave up, but it was too late. He was in a dreadful state after the second episode and died 18 months later. Just give it up.
First of all, I am so sorry to hear about your husbands heart attack! I wish him all the best in his recovery, he is lucky to have your support.
Everyone is different (as this thread shows) so I can only speak from my own experience with my husband. Since his heart attack he has not smoked or used a vape/any nicotine substitutes. He was told by the doctors and nurses who cared for him that he must not smoke cigarettes ever again and that a vape wouldn’t be great either as nicotine isn’t good for the heart. For comparison my husbands heart attack was also quite severe and his ejection fraction was 35% afterwards.
So really, I can’t answer the main part of your question which was whether anyone has carries on smoking. But I can offer some insight on the withdrawal symptoms! My husband was very irritable at the beginning when quitting but this did pass within about two weeks. We haven't been in many social situations where he may be tempted to smoke and we haven’t actually spoken about his quitting smoking much. I find he gets more frustrated when I bring it up and it only draws attention to the fact that he can’t enjoy a cigarette or vape.
Aside from the withdrawals from having quit smoking, your husbands feelings of anger and anxiety may also be attributed to just having had a heart attack. It is a huge event in anyones life and it’s very common to feel down afterwards. You do grieve for your freedom to be able to enjoy all the naughty stuff like alcohol, cigarettes etc without feeling all the guilt and worry. Take it day by day, support your husband, and he will get there!
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