Struggling with emotion

[MONIREN]

I recently had a test for unrelated problem that was clear, abdominal pain starting 3am. Left with no solution. I'm starting to doubt everything, I have constant angina, my gp doesn't know why considering the meds I'm on, Metroprolol 75mg ×2, Ikorel 20mg×2, Ticagrelor 90mg×2, Colchicine 500mcg, Ivabradine 5mg×2, Aspirin, Atovastatin 20mg, Isosorbide 120mg, they are the ones for my heart, I take other meds for diabetes and pain, I also use GTN spray regularly, at least once a day. Cardiologist said I have to live with the angina. I've had 2 HA, 7 angiograms, 3 stents. Question is, am I not well or is it just in my mind. I did suffer for years with depression, but can't do antidepressants anymore, they mess with diabetes and injection. One Cardiologist did pressure tests on arteries, he said I have blockages in small veins, but didn't write microvascular disease. I've had pharmacy go over my meds to see if there is anything causing this pain, I'm not getting much sleep. I have a husband who is very unwell, so stress is a problem. Maybe one of you guys may point me in the right direction. Many thanks. Moni

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

Moni,I wish I could wave a magic wand and take your pain away for you.

Living with microvascular and vasospastic angina means joining a

' club' that none of us would ask to join.

I remember many years ago after my diagnosis of vasospastic angina was confirmed following an angiogram with acetylcholine being told that there were few treatment options.

I managed to keep it together until I got home and then cried.

I didn't know how I was going to find my way. Somehow I did.

I am sorry to hear your husband is so unwell. Emotional stress is a lighting rod for angina for me.

It's sometimes very difficult to try and protect yourself from your emotions.

Your pain is real just because as yet no definite cause can be found is not your fault.

Sometimes there just is no answer.

Learning self compassion is something that can help.

There are various relaxation techniques and Mindfulness meditation that may help you.

Perhaps finding someone to talk to or ask your GP if there is a psychologist or counsellor you can see.

I am often kept awake with my angina at night. I listen to podcasts of comedy, music, anything to try and take my mind else where.

I get out into my garden and I am taking up the challenge of trying to write a haiku for Laura's Heart Takes blog.

Two other things that help me are oxygen which helps with my chest pain and migraines.

A TENS machine Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulator.

TENS machines are often used by women in labour and for other pain conditions.

I also had alot of help from a Pain Management programme which was lead by a psychologist, physiotherapist and clinical nurse specialist.

Maybe ask your GP if you can be seen by a Pain management service.

I still have alot of angina pain in my life however I am slowly learning to live with it.

I have got used to seeing the forlorn look on a Healthcare professional's face who just doesn't know what to do or say to me.

Medics find it really difficult if they can't fix us.

Sending you a gentle virtual hug.

[MONIREN in reply to Milkfairy]

Thank you for your kind words, I think I'm just overtired. Gp didn't think pain management would help, find the cause. As you say, sometimes you don't find why. I know you struggle, so appreciate your taking the time to reassure me. Take care. Moni

[Nettekin]

Hi Moniren, so sorry to hear you are suffering and have the added stress of looking after your poorly husband. Although I have no experience of microvascular angina, I do have experience of having had conditions that have never been fully explained or diagnosed. It can make you question yourself and wonder if you are imagining it. But, just because the medical profession can't find an answer doesn't mean there is no problem. We know our own bodies and sometimes have to push hard to be heard. I know only too well how difficult this can be when you are in pain, tired or frustrated. Do reach out to your GP and emphasise the impact this is having on your life. Sending you very best wishes x

[MONIREN in reply to Nettekin]

Thank you, I've started noting the pain levels and any other info. I get forgetful, so rely on notes, plus I'm easily swayed by their opinion. Appreciate your comments. Take care. Moni