Hi Guys,
Not a fantastic start to the day here in the East Midlands, but it's still "Great to be Alive".
Whatever you get up to this weekend, I hope that you all have a good 'un.
Take care, and keep well!
Mick x👍
Happy week-end!: Hi Guys, Not a... - British Heart Fou...
Happy week-end!
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Oldsilver
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And sending every best wish for an extraordinarily good 'un right back to you , Mick - and many, many more to follow! Believe it or not, I woke up to a bit of sunshine here in Northern Ireland today - wonders'll never cease!👍😊 Carol
Hello 
Same here with the weather not great but you sound that is not stopping you been cheerful
I hope you have a lovely weekend to and by the sound of how you are feeling I am sure you will x
A bit abrupt and harsh perhaps. as the gentleman has only been on three days perhaps he doesn't know about the social check in. A gentle nudge would have been more appropriate in this case.
Totally agree with you, Uzininemm. Very harsh, abrupt and quite rude really. 👍
I'm sure the moderators will be delighted that BigMel has offered his/her advice to them in how to run a forum.
"The moderators are the ones to blame for allowing this type of tosh to remain on the board."
I don't think Mick's post could be described as "tosh". Personally, I found his obviously joyous, good-to-be-alive feelings boosted my own early-morning morale and made my mended triple-bypassed-heart feel good. I thoroughly enjoyed sharing his delight at the happiness that appears at the end of a somewhat dark tunnel. If Mick can feel this good, only 16 days after a double by-pass, surely that's encouragement in itself for anyone going through the same thing - if that's not heart-related then I don't know what is.
'Should they be given a gentle nudge?'
I will answer that, No that is why i said gentle nudge to a gentleman who had been on three days. You mention the guidelines when you open an account. Looking at your previous posts why didn't you at the beginning just stick to the social media then if you had read the guidance notes? (I am referencing your last post 'My day 2).
I would have thought someone like you would have shown more consideration to someone new considering they hadn't followed the rules themselves.
Thank you for answering the question I asked, fair enough answer.
I get your comments about the 'joke' posts and didn't disagree at the time they were getting to much. I saw the possible point of them but advised they were not for me. I also see the point if you allow one why can't you allow all. You can't have a free for all.
If you are going to complain about the moderators, no point doing it to me i can't do anything about it.
I get your point about established members, and won't disagree with your general point, however as I said with someone new I would give them the benefit of the doubt and certainly wouldn't be so abrupt.
Now about the dig aimed at me about rhubarb and your reference to food.
Taking food, if you were read the BHF website you would see how important eating the right food was to heart health (and rhubarb is mentioned), I didn't realise therefore posting anything about food was wrong. Are you saying then the BHF are wrong to publish a healthy heart recipes then? So please tell me what is exactly wrong with posting about food then?
By the way just to help me can you tell me what your expertise and qualifications are in relation to food?
I get your point about some things like sport in general, however if this is relation to exercise or how exercise(sport) helps people to recover then I once again disagree unless you can provide me with proof to show how this fails to help people.
Sorry you've received rather a grumpy response to your completely relevant and appropriate email, I'm afraid it can happen sometimes but don't let that put you off posting again the majority of our members are a lovely , helpful welcoming crew.I think we all appreciate your message because it's coming from someone whose had a brush with ill health because of the heart and we all feel the same occasionally.
It's good to be reminded of that, especially as we often forget the fact that those days can happen when we get bogged down by our symptoms, bad days or have just recently come through heart surgery.
So thank you for leaving such a positive message to us all.
And a big chunk of hope for those new members whom might just be going through the worst life moment and wondering when they read only posts about surgery or medicine ,"Is this it" as they need to know good times will come again.
It is good to read it's good be alive , and feels even better when you've had heart surgery.
Take care and I wish you many more great days, Bee
Many thanks for your very kind words, I admit that the post concerned was inadvertently posted in the incorrect "area", however to adopt a "holier than thou" attitude is very over the top in my opinion.
Your post is relevant to the main feed because it's showing people how you are recovering after surgery and only a few days after having you clips removed. It's not just a social post but one that's keeping the members informed about your recovery , just like many posts we love to see in the main feed , and it will be giving a much welcomed feeling if hope for all of those people whom are still waiting for their surgery or worrying about how they will feel after having clips removed.For future posts , to avoid getting unwanted messages and keep certain things at bay, it helps if you begin your message stating that you've just had your operation or the number of days /weeks after it and that you wanted to let everyone know how your recovery is going and what you are doing to help it.
I'm impressed with how well you are feeling , onwards and upwards , Bee
Mick - your post is certainly relevant to the main forum area. You had a life-changing operation only 16 short days ago and to read that you have recovered to the extent that you have, in such a short time, must to be such a boon to those reading your post who are about to undergo the same operation. I appreciate that we're all different, and recover in different stages and times, but I had the same moment of happiness just a few weeks after my own op and at the time simply wanted to share my joy with the world - just as you have done. By the way - that lovely feeling never leaves you. It's now two and a half years since my op and if I ever have a 'down-day' remembering that feeling cheers me up right away👍😊 Carol
All of these back and forth messages are unnecessary, and the unwelcoming reply was unnecessary.If you have an issue with a post we have been told by the Moderators not to make grumpy comments to the poster but to follow the guidelines and contact the Moderators with an email to request them to deal with it or to put in a report to have it checked and removed if it isn't appropriate.
It's for admin to make the decision to comment on these things in the public arena , not you or others by potentially upsetting both the original poster and other members with your unwelcoming and abrupt responses.
We received a post from the moderators on this point.
I've added this here as a reminder not just to yourself but to all members whom may not have seen that email , just as the post writer may not be used to using Social Check ins.
There are not that many posts per day even on relevant subjects on this forum. So a post dropping down the list still gets picked up by just pressing the " older posts" button.
People whom want to read posts and give helpful advice or support, rather than generally only making replies to complain, realise this ,and check, making the system run successfully without the need for this sort of reaction.
If you feel you must comment to me about this use PM as we have also been advised to do , rather than filling up this well meaning members post with inappropriate replies to the topic of being happy to be alive after heart events. Thank you , Bee
Thank you for your very appropriate, measured reply, Blearyeyed. It's really not our job to 'police' the forum and I completely agree, we should leave that up to the moderators.
Oh my goodness, it would appear that I have committed a "heinous crime" by putting a caring, polite comment in the wrong area. I'm sorry that wishing people a good weekend in a polite manner is in your view "tosh". I suspect the reasons that many of your posts receive "0 likes" would be indicative of how you are viewed by many of the members. For goodness sake, all of us on here have been through traumatic, possibly life changing experiences, why be so pedantic?
Not difficult to grasp politeness and manners either, but some folk fail miserably.
True, it's probably better to just ignore these comments and not reply or the matter just goes on and on. Better to remember the bright message of your post in the first place and hope more members won't have been scared off from making positive replies about it.
As I said before , don't let this little incident put you off posting about your recovery and replying to others with your support, that's what the majority of members are here for. Pace yourself and keep positive , Bee
You could equally have done the same about mine.
Could be the same reason you do not grasp not to police the site but report instead
Just a thought
I loved the jokes they made my day and I remember when you joined and tried to join in but no one was interested so you decided to go from fun loving BigMel to been a police patrol on here
Not sure where you get your information from and I don't care either but false
Won't reply to you again just wanted to point out that you struggle why people do not grasp the rules yet you comment on these posts when the rules are not to so you are asking others to abide by them but that does not count for you ?
Anyway not giving you any more attention because I think that is what you do this for as you cannot get it any other way
Having been the targeted victim of the bullying and abuse from yourself and your friends last year, I took screenshots of your comments before you deleted them.
Would you like me to post the copy of the comments that are being referred to above, it might help to jog your memory?
You are free to do what you want but I would never intentionally bully anyone and if you felt I was me personally I wished you had reported me for doing so as I would have deserved to be reported
Oh yes you certainly did! And not only did you bully & abuse me, egged on by your 'friend' Andy, but you were also very aware that you were doing it, and you were aware that you were doing it at a time when you knew I was very vulnerable as my husband was very very poorly at that time.
I reported each & every one of your comments but, as you know HU aren't particularly interested in what happens in this group! So I went direct to the BHS, several of your friends were removed from the group 'others' were being 'watched' and monitored'!
I have reported you again, I've also pointed out that whenever there is a bit of dissension in the group you're always in the middle of it ignoring your own advise of 'dont comment, report it!
I'll find the screenshot for you!
Don't you think it would be good for all of your and Big Mel and Be Kinds physical and mental health needs to just draw a line under these things and move on in kindness.Dredging up old disputes can't be doing any of you any good , as well as it making a very unpleasant environment for other members. I'm sure you don't want to create the impression that this forum can't get passed its differences.
Take care , Bee
Don't you think my physical health or MH have nothing to do with anyone else but me!!
But thank you for your concern!
I pointed out that above , I included it here just in case others had already forgotten the guidelines about making these complaints in a person's post.You do seem hell bent on causing a commotion today , which is particularly unnecessary and unsupportive towards someone whom is posting while only just dealing with post surgery recovery.
In which case, I will take my own advice now and think it's time to make a report.
Sorry it's come to this but you can't keep having a go at members in this way publicly or privately , it's abusive behaviour.
No, I hadn't reported it, however I will now given the uncalled for abusive replies you've written to somewhat vulnerable people below.
Hello
I can see you are new and I wanted to say I hope this has not put you of and sorry for expressing my views on your post and hope it has not upset you and to reassure you that this really is a supportive group and I hope you will keep posting x
Hi, it's very kind of you to consider my feelings, however, it's been my experience that you will always get the "bully boys" on any forum, the best way to treat them is with the contempt they deserve to be honest. Some people need to get their own houses in order before being critical of others.👍
Ignore all the back biting and keep posting we had a really bad spell of this when the Social forum was set up and IIreally feel that its like a bunch of children squabbling and i got completely fed up with it all To me if you don't want to read it you scroll past it. We are all ill with heart problems and should know better than to upset other members. If this is starting again I will stick with the aortic pre and post surgery where we all manage to support each other without any of these problems.
I chose to become a member of the Bekind forum so that I could take part in social and non heart related health conversations with others without it causing any disruption, breaking of guidelines or inconvenience to members on here , and so that our membership wouldn't constantly have to see and be distressed by people beginning negative squabbles just like the one you seem to be determined to encourage today.
The Bekind forum is a great lifeline for those trying to cope with heart and other health issues by giving people an easy way to chat and keep in contact with others whom understand the mental health issues , isolation and limitations our conditions often put upon our daily lives.
It's easier to use and keep a topic post running on there than in the Social Check in on here which is seldom updated to make conversations easy to have each month. Plus the endless SC stream makes it difficult continue a conversation.
Anyone can join as many forums as they want for support and to make it easier to connect without causing others the need to complain. Surely you can't be criticizing people for being members of both forums to help bring positivity into their lives?
It's not a competition, and it doesn't make you a trouble maker , past or present, just because you are a member of the Bekind forum, or a traitor with an agenda, to use all of the resources that help differing needs.
Please stop this bullish playground behaviour, what sort of image is it setting of our usually kind and positive BHF forum.
Point 3. So 45 people didn't answer my question in your opinion, not my fault for posting it was it then, so why bring it up as if I had been wrong in posting it other than to try and have a go at me? You really are scrapping the barrel after the event by suggesting I should have written it differently. Sour grapes as I didn't notice your complaint at the time. I know the intention of my question and have no regrets in posting it.
Point 4, As I expected you have no food qualifications, as you were good to complain about my rhubarb post, it is a shame you didn't explain your point about the social side previously then, I wouldn't have said what I did, as I said before I have no problems with your view on matters that are not heart related.
5. I didn't miss the point, but you are right I did not see the posts about a football match, and once again I don't disagree over your assessment about armchair fans, however sometimes folks can refer to sport which they are doing exercise.
It's very hard to ignore it when you see people bullying each other. Just because it's only typed words doesn't mean it's any less abusive or harmful than bullying going on face to face.There is a point when caring people step up and ask people to stop even if that sensible request keeps being ignored. That is what I did today.
I have never taken part in any form of bullying or insulting behaviour , my remarks may be practically critical but I do not throw about harmful personal insults and I act, even under provocation , with restraint doing as much as possible to be caring and mature in my replies because I realise that those people I'm interacting with on the forum are coping with health issues and may be finding that impacts on the way they react to others and require more sensitivity in responses.
Please do not accuse me of taking part in negative playground aggression, it is incorrect and defamatory.
As I have stated if you would like continue this debate PM me , the way I respond in PMs is no different to the way I discuss things openly , I never resort to aggression or abuse in open or closed discussions.
No it isn't the relevancy over food qualifications, the real issue here, it is the manner of how you come across in your posts to everyone, that is the real problem. Whether you mean it or not you come across as rude/abrupt.
No, because there isn't , and it's the same attitude I'm displaying, just asking you to stop ganging up on people and repeating this ongoing negative behaviour .Have you read back through this post ? can't you see how negative your replies have been and how uncomfortable and stressful it must be for others to come across and begin to read. People are only asking you to stop doing that.
I know you are ignoring my and others suggestions to stop it for the sake of others feelings , but I wish you wouldn't , people come to the forum to feel better not worse.
just can't learn can you, don't you get it, that is all down to how you speak to me/others!
I am done, better things to do.
We did not gang up on you.We all voiced a similar criticism of your ongoing negative replies at different times when we saw it and it continued.
If that's feels like people are ganging up on you I'm sorry , that's not what has happened, it's just the weight of the opinions about this sort of communication has not been the same as yours.
I would have happily stopped adding replies a long time ago and would not have commented above except I saw that you had begun to reply aggressively to a member that you know has mental health issues to cope with as well as physical issues and we both know that she could become very unwell if she receives these types of messages.
Again , I will request , if you wish to continue this type of argument I am happy to correspond about it in PM so that the forum does not have to be overwhelmed by this. If you don't wish to do that then please consider others and stop this tirade.
To others reading this reply.
I'm sorry if today's communication on this post and my part in it has caused anyone to feel stress , it certainly wasn't my intent to cause others distress.
Take care , Bee
I didn't use the word ' issues ' I said ' needs' . All of us, no matter how different we are, have the need to protect our physical and mental health whether we are 100% healthy or have health conditions. Its fulfilling those needs positively that helps to keep us healthy.Encouraging people to take care of themselves isn't something I'd have ever thought someone could describe as bullying.
What a very rude person you are. You need to get a life, you clearly spend too long "trolling" other decent people.
I'm shocked at some of these comments.
I want to comment but really have nothing to say except life's too short for falling out over silly things, I am sure we are all on here for the same reason to get support and share our experiences.
Have a lovely day everyone.
No, no previous membership, and I find your second comment absolutely hilarious.
HUModeratorAdministrator
Hi Oldsilver ,
Unfortunately some of the comments on this post have broken the community guidelines and have therefore been turned off.
Many thanks,
HUModerator
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