Spouse leaving me after my heart attack

[Tribalfire]

Why do my partners leave me after a heart attack? this is the second heart attack and my second partner to leave me shortly after my heart attacks. im not coping very well with this atm. I feel im in total limbo, I never expected to survive my second attack and very nearly didnt survive needing cpr and zapping twice in the ambulance . But i did survive and now 2 arteries are totally blocked and 25% of my heart is dead. Now my partner has left and im in bits.

[meadfoot]

Oh bless you, one blow after another. Life can be so cruel some times and so wonderful other times. I wish you well and hope you have improved health and find a solid relationship in the future. Best wishes.

[jeanjeannie50]

Sorry to hear this. I'm afraid some people can't face the chance of having to live with someone who will curtail their lifestyle. I was shocked when a friend had a stroke and was confined to a wheelchair and her partner left her. I voiced this to my partner (now ex) and he said he didn't think he could ever face looking after someone. I was shocked because I would have looked after him if in that position.

Here's the answer, start enjoying living on your own. I thought that would never be me, but honestly it's so peaceful. Build up your network of friends.

Hope you will stay healthy now.

Jean

[Blackcatsooty in reply to jeanjeannie50]

When a stroke got me late 2016, it was reported that 60% of couples split post stroke. Personality changes and we become a different person.I could see glimpses of this when i had AVR and OHS. But with the heart surgery, recovery was so much quicker and definite.

However, there are many things that i can no longer do and i can see my wife getting more and more annoyed.

Colin

[Hidden]

Hello

I am so sorry not only about your heart attacks but the fact that you have been let down so badly twice by people that you loved , it must be so very hard for you at a time like this as it is when we need our loved one's the most

All I can say is they are not worthy of you and in a way Thank goodness you found out what kind of people they were and did not invest any more of your precious time with them

It is not you or anything wrong with you or even that you have had your heart attacks , it is them showing their true colours that obviously while everything is ok they were happy to be around but as soon as you needed support they went , it shows how shallow and spineless they were , you may have had a heart attack twice but they seem to have no heart at all !

You are obviously stronger than what you think , you have survived these two heart attacks you can move on from these relationships , head held high knowing you are a better person

Look around and surround yourself with people that deserve your affection and love and enjoy life to the full you deserve it x

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

Other messages have said a lot of what I wanted to say.....only better. You think you will not survive just on your own, but you will gradually get stronger......do look for support from your friends and family, and also consider counselling.....from personal experience, I know it can be hugely helpful at such harsh times.

[Hidden]

I had cancer some years ago, and my then husband couldn't cope with what he saw as a disability. He wouldn't even admit to his colleagues and friends that I was ill. He even hated me talking to my own friends about my treatment, or how I was feeling. I was lucky, and found some really good friends who helped me through the worst of it. Some of them I'd hardly known beforehand. Once I got back on my feet, I left him. It was the best thing I ever did. He still doesn't understand why I did it, but I didn't need someone so uncaring and weak in my life. I am a lot stronger than I thought, and very independent now. It's hard when people let you down when you really need them, but you will get through it, and come out the other side a stronger, happier person. I wish you all the best.

[Hidden]

My heart breaks for you , some people just can’t handle distressing situations though and find it easier for themselves to walk away from them . These days everything is about how someone feels and mental health and although to you and others it may seem selfish that they walked away from you when you needed them , they may well needed to walk away for them selfs and there own mental health 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ . I’ve been married almost 20 years this time and I believe that my husband would stay with me and I with him if the tables were turned , also we have been together a longtime . Maybe you haven’t been with your partners long enough to build up a very firm bond? I honestly don’t know your circumstances, but hang on in there , plenty of fish in the sea and all that jazz . Much love xx

[Simes11 in reply to Hidden]

Very well said..

It’s so ‘easy’ to judge another negatively, but not one of us here knows anything about the other person in this relationship, nor indeed anything about the relationship itself.

[Dpc2019]

Sorry to hear of this, if there leaving at your time of need and support there not worth it.. How old are you?

[Tribalfire in reply to Dpc2019]

I'm 63

[Shar28]

Hello, there’s not much I can add to what’s already been said by others but I wanted to voice what very limited support I can give. In the spirit of coming to terms with what has happened, maybe grieving the loss of your life and future as you once saw it, and moving forward in a constructive and positive way that works for you, have you thought of asking for some counselling. You’ve been through and are going through a heck of a lot and asking for help is a sign of strength. Not everyone can do it even when they need to, so if you can, it may be really helpful. I’ve had counselling that helped me through tough times and still find it helpful, several years on. Your GP is a good place to start.

All the best, now and in the future.

[Retirement65]

So sorry your in this position love can mean very different things to people to truly love someone unconditionally you are there with them every step of the way the good and the bad times the people that have been in your life are not meant to be think jeanjeanie summed it up take time out for yourself now - hope you feel better very soon take care 😊

[Splodge60]

Very sad. Sometimes our partners cannot cope with illness . Yours or their own. You have been twice unlucky but some might argue that you are lucky as you don’t have to support them whilst struggling with your own very serious stuff. Good luck for the future and I trust, as time goes by, your own coping mechanisms may improve xx. There are many around who will strengthen and support you at this difficult time . Myself being one of them xx

[DanniC88]

Aww what an awful thing to do.Sending hugs 🫂🫂

You don't need those people in your life. Surround yourself with people who matter in your life, focus on yourself, be happy.

I hope you are well after the heart attack and that you have a good support network. Stand tall and proud, you got this!!!

[SunshineGardener]

You will make it through this. You will grow stronger. The ghosting tells you everything you need to know about your now former partner. It is their weakness of character in focus here, not any fault of your own. Some people are helpless in the face of adversity. Some people are simply better at taking rather than giving. I hope you have some family and friends to rally round you while you recover physically and emotionally. And, quite frankly, I hope you sweep that miscreant from the corners of your mind and heart as quickly as they walked out the door. Get better soon.

[Bingo88]

I am really sorry to hear about your Heart attack and that you're partner has left you. I know some people struggle to deal with seeing you so ill. But I certainly couldn't live with myself walking away from someone at the time when they needed me the most for help and support. I guess we are all different. But I find it a Selfish and Heartless decision. Hope you can cope on your own and things get better. Brian