Bit of a wobble

[Thanksnhs]

Morning to all, the last few days I have been feeling a bit emotional about my donors family spending Christmas without a special person at the table, I don't know anything about this selfless lady or her family that has allowed me to spend the day with some of my family, I keep just bursting into tears at random moments, like driving to the hospital, not a good time to cry on a motorway, I did speak to my nurse and doctor they have assured me that's quite normal and the steroids can cause mood swings as well, she said its what the family wanted and they would be happy that her wishes had been carried out, my own family are just so delighted that everything is going well, especially my 91 year old mother it's difficult to mention the donors family to them, my boyfriend doesn't like to talk about it either, he is quite the old fashioned type of man doesn't like emotions especially greetin wumin, he does have other qualities, I think 😅I am sure it is a very difficult time for many families especially this year and I am not alone being like this, I am just so grateful to the donor and the wonderful NHS for my second chance, thank you for reading my post it's nice to be able to write it all down and I know I will get some lovely support from you all thank you fellow hearties ❤️❤️xx

[080311]

Morning char,

I can understand that it’s a difficult time for you thinking about the family of your donor. But they gave you the gift of life and you are honouring them by doing everything you can to keep that precious heart beating.

Come Christmas, raise a glass ( non alcoholic)😂 to the family and the donor. I am sure they will be doing the same hoping that the heart of their loved one is still going strong.

Char I wish you a happy Christmas, and let’s hope 2021 gives us all the chance to meet up with our families.

Pauline

[Hidden]

I’ve just read your post three times! What an emotional journey for you.

I realized that I have never thought about the other side of heart donation. The receiver grieving for the donor.

No wonder you cry at times. You need to speak about it and you have written it so well here.

Thank you and best wishes to you and your family.

Take care ❤️

[Thanksnhs in reply to Hidden]

Even though I had been waiting for a few years, I must admit I never really thought about it myself, and then immediately afterwards you are just trying to recover from surgery, and then you start to think about it, my nurse said the same will happen at certain times, like the anniversary, I can send a note to the family via the hospital at some point but she said it was a bit soon just now, I hope you and your family have a nice happy Christmas day as much as the restrictions allow char x

[apmgold]

Char, don't worry about being emotional, you were given one of the greatest gifts possible and that has allowed you to reach Christmas. Please remember it was a gift and a very precious gift given at a very sad time. As Pauline mentioned "you are honouring them by doing everything you can to keep that precious heart beating." Enjoy this Christmas and many more to come and you can always spare a quiet moment to say thank you to your selfless lady and her family.Have a very Merry Christmas and a happy and peaceful New Year.

Anthony

[Thanksnhs in reply to apmgold]

Thank you for your reply, I will enjoy Christmas for my family and their family, they have given me a gift one which I will be eternally grateful for and look forward to the new year as a new beginning, I wish you and your family a very happy Christmas take care char x

[Magicfairy]

Hi there, what a huge thing to go through, I think you would not be normal to not have all these thoughts, it’s being human, having any heart trouble makes us feel closer to people who are suffering, all your senses heightened, your special lady had her wish granted to help someone, that must be comforting for her family ❤️, sending you a big hug, look at all things positive every day, we are so lucky to be here 🤗, have a lovely Christmas with your family xxx

[Thanksnhs in reply to Magicfairy]

Thank you that is a lovely way of putting it, and I hope a comforting thought for her family this Christmas, I hope you have a lovely Christmas and we can all look forward to a better new year, take care char x

[Magicfairy in reply to Thanksnhs]

Thank you Char, yes you too xxx

[Rose54]

Just give it timeWhat you are feeling is normal and expected

Blame the Steroids

I have been on them 5 years and get days when my anxiety spirals out of control and the next day I am fine.

With all that is going on in the World and time of year at present I think we all feel emotional.

I will say a prayer for the family of your donor .

Best Wishes to you and your family .

[Thanksnhs in reply to Rose54]

Thank you that is very kind, I really appreciate it, I think it is worse at this time of year when we are all thinking about our families especially with all that's been going on, I wish you a lovely Christmas take care char

[Fluffybee]

Hi thanksNHS

You’re bound to feel the way you do, it must be a very big mixture of emotions you’re going through, grateful doesn’t come close for how you feel I’m sure and can completely understand how you feel about the very special lady and her family.

Cannot begin to imagine what you’ve been through.

I think the thing that may help me would be that the lady wanted to help people just like you and be so proud you’re taking such special care of something so precious she’s given you, and think you’ve made her wish come true 🤗🤗🤗 take care of yourself, let us know how you’re getting on, it’s a difficult time fur you xx

[Thanksnhs in reply to Fluffybee]

Thank you everyone is so kind and understanding, I will think of the positives as this is what the lady and her family wanted, what would we do without these wonderful people, I wish you a lovely time over the festive season take care char x

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

Hello Thanksnhs

As the others have already said you have been given an amazing gift by your donor's family.

You have been through so much and it's absolutely okay to feel emotional.

Are you still in contact with the transplant coordinator?

Some people write a letter of thanks to their donors family. If this something you feel you would find helpful perhaps contact the transplant nurse and ask if this is possible.

I wish you a peaceful and joyful Christmas.

[Thanksnhs in reply to Milkfairy]

Hi and thanks for your reply, I spoke to my transplant nurse on Friday about a letter to my donor's family, she said I should wait for a bit and we will speak about it in the new year, at the moment I wouldn't have a clue what to say to them, I will definitely do it in the new year, I hope you have a lovely Christmas and New year take care char x

[Shar28]

Hello, what a journey you’re travelling! You’re so brave taking this route and thinking of the donor’s family is, to me, only natural. But I think the donor’s family may find comfort from the donation, mingled in with their grief.

I say this because my 91 year old mum passed away suddenly less than a month ago and she wanted her organs to be used including her brain which she’d donated to a scientific ageing project that’s been running many years. Unfortunately, her organs couldn’t be used which my sister and I found very sad and upsetting.

All the best to you and your loved ones and indeed to all on this forum and their loved ones.

[Thanksnhs in reply to Shar28]

Thank you,sorry to hear of your loss it must be hard at this time of year, that was a lovely gesture your mum made, my mum is 91 just now and would do the same, wishing you and your family a lovely festive season take care char x

[Maisywhippet]

Hello, a close member of our family was an organ donor when she passed away and they were able to transplant her liver. I later received a letter from the recipient and this was a great comfort to us all, we felt proud that she had been able to do this and very pleased that her last wishes for someone else to benefit had been granted, so please try not too feel too sad...that’s not what your donor would want. Take care x

[Thanksnhs in reply to Maisywhippet]

Thank you for your comforting reply, I definitely will send a letter to the family, and I hope they will find some comfort in it, I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas take care char x

[stillaboveground]

Hi Char, I think the heart you have been given was full of love for others, and with you and your caring nature will continue to be so, the donors family would be so proud that such a caring person is now looking after such a precious item. take care, have a lovely Christmas and a happy new year. Ruth

[Thanksnhs in reply to stillaboveground]

Thank you for your lovely reply, another tear in the eye, everyone has been so kind and helpful, I am so grateful for all my hearty friends who understand so well, the replies have made me feel so much better,I wish you and your family a lovely happy Christmas and for us all, a new year to look forward to, take care char xx

[RufusScamp]

How lovely to read your story. Don't worry about crying - I am doing so as I read it. I hope your donor's family are in some way consoled that their loss has given hope to others. I wish you all the best for a happy Christmas and a healthy New Year.

[Vicky12345678]

Hi Char,

Your nurse and doctor are totally right - I think it is very common to have emotional days after such major surgery (I know I have had weepy days and I've not been through nearly as much as you!). Be kind to yourself, it's so lovely of you to think of them and as others have said I'm sure the family are glad the wishes of your donor were respected.

Here's to a new year with a new heart!! So glad to hear all is going ok thus far