Lost and confused: I am sort of new to... - British Heart Fou...

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Lost and confused

14 Replies

I am sort of new to this so I might be doubling up on my post.

I had open heart surgery 2 months ago. Described as a physically brutal procedure by a registrar I am left with symptoms of PTSD. Going to the follow appointment at the hospital had me anxious for days. Always fit and reasonably healthy i have kept my morning exercise stretch routine going till a few days ago. My BP started creeping up and is now too high I've spoken to rehab and Gp but scared to do anything right now. Why is this all happening my; stomach aches I think I'm doing something wrong, I can't stop crying , I've lost interest in food and I feel lost and confused. Any advice...or help?

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14 Replies
woodlandwonders profile image
woodlandwonders

Big, big, hug!

You have been through alot, not helped by you doctors visual description.

Please contact your GP again. I know this must feel like the hardest thing right now, but you really sound like you need help to process what's happened to you. And that is TOTALLY ok.

While you are doing that please use this space for support. They are a great bunch of people on this forum, who understand because they are living it too. They have peeled me off the floor a few times and they will do the same for you.

Take care

in reply towoodlandwonders

Oh thank you, love the hugs!

It does feel so hard and I feel lonely too I feel like I don't have the tools to cope or manage this and scrambling between rehab and GP for information I can use to try to make sense of what to do to make a difference...I'm talking to my GP today and will be talking to someone about my post trauma symptoms in a couple of weeks, but the days are such a struggle and no amount of my talking to myself and trying to be positive seems to work. I feel like I'm in a different world to other people..I look out the window and see the people walking past, I see my friends and family but it's like they're ok, normal, getting on with life..I can't seem to feel that..do any of you experience anything like that? Big hugs to you all..x

woodlandwonders profile image
woodlandwonders in reply to

Yes. That's why I reached out to you x

They are getting on with life, you want them to, you love them, but at the same time you want to scream! What about me! It's normal, they cant understand what's happened to you. It's a select club. That's why this forum can be so important. Everyone knows.

You are getting on with life too, it's just very different to what you had planned. Right now all your energy is used on healing, repairing, recovering. It's like a little side road, eventually you will feel able to return to your main road. If you want to. You may decide to do something else instead :)

There is always someone here. Please dont feel alone x

Best2 profile image
Best2 in reply to

Hi I’m sending you a big hug 🤗 for know exactly how your feeling and it’s all perfectly normal after such a huge event in your life ! It’s so hard especially at the moment with gps not seeing people only telephone appointments!! I found this forum to be so helpful with questions and support and it does give you confidence to read the stories of people just like us who are scared worried and anxious and know that things can get better with time ! I wish you all the best for the future with your heart health 😍

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day

(((HUGS)))

Can't think of anything better than WoodlandWonders' brilliant post - excellent advice and if you can, you might think about printing it out and posting it on the fridge-freezer for offline bolstering.

(((HUGS)))

080311 profile image
080311

Hello 2 months is very little time after surgery you have to let your brain catch up with what as happened to your body.

I had mine 4 years ago but remember those feelings of disbelief in what had happened to me things will get better but it takes more time than we think it will. Listen to your body when it tells you I am tired rest.

Blood pressure needs looking at if it’s creeping up but as you sound anxious could be that. You say you have been doing stretching exercise was that before 8 weeks? You shouldn’t have been stretching your sternum until 8-10 weeks.

Have another word with your cardio nurse and go through what you are feeling.

Things do improve so take it easy. I send you very best wishes Pauline x

My word, I feel so grateful to receive and in this wonderful sharing of experiences. The perspectives on my procedure as a car crash is oddly enough harsh and helpful at the same time. It's giving me way of categorizing, in real terms what my body has gone through. That people don't know what I'm going through also brings awareness that i don't actually have to educate them or meet their or in fact my own unrealistic expectations! And that it takes time ..my goodness that's the hard part for me...but to hear from those on the other side is encouraging me...thank you so much. I've spoken to my GP who is great and has given me a information and perspective on my BP ...relieved it is more likely anxiety...so glad you're all out there. 🤗

080311 profile image
080311

Remember you are not alone we are always here to listen to lend a shoulder to lean on, when we go through any heart issues it’s hard for anyone who hasn’t been there to comprehend what is going on in our head, my thing was the thought of the surgeon holding my heart took me ages to get my head round that, but 4 years on and those thoughts only raise their head every now and again 😂 I am so grateful every day to the clever medical team that gave me my life back.

So things do get better just not as quick as we think it should be.

Best wishes Pauline

in reply to080311

I think I feel overloaded I was already using about all my of stratergies to cope with everday life of the pandemic my heart procedure happened in June.. I suppose the things I use to manage and cope had already been reduced it's like I'm in a double bubble of extra care and constant alertness...it's exhausting I can only imagine how others are keeping well and safe..🤗

080311 profile image
080311

I can understand being exhausted, my husband had a stroke 5 weeks after my surgery, and I became his carer it’s the thinking for both of us that is the worse, luckily we both still have a sense of humour we laugh or cry but we get through 😊 life can sometimes pull the rug from under our feet.

in reply to080311

What an amazing and extraordinary person you are...

080311 profile image
080311 in reply to

That’s kind but I am just trying to do the best I can for both of us, we have been married 50 years and it’s the first ill health we have had so really we have no complaints 😩 We have had great medical care, so maybe we have challenges but as my mother use to say straighten your shoulders head up and smile at the world. Secretgardner you will get through this,

I send you best wishes Pauline

Shar28 profile image
Shar28

Hello, sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. My husband had his Aortic Valve replaced 2.5 years ago so although I can’t speak from the experience of surgery, I can speak from seeing my husband going through it and my own perspective.

It’s a big thing to go through, both physically and mentally, and it takes time for the effects to work through, both physically and mentally. You’re definitely not alone and it’s definitely normal. Please don’t feel that you shouldn’t be feeling like this or that it’s wrong to feel how you do...your feelings are your feelings and that’s ok.

Everyone on here is wonderfully supportive and the BHF nurses on their helpline are fantastic. They great at listening, explaining, supporting and suggesting ways forward. The number is 0300 330 3311, weekday office hours.

From your user name, you appear to have greenfingers. Does your garden offer any solace? I know it does the trick for me, even when it’s full of weeds - after all, they’re just wild flowers in the wrong place!

Take your time, keep talking to us all on here, your GP, BHF etc and you’ll get there.

Best wishes to you and your loved ones. X

This is all so new to me, I'm usually the one helping others. Your replies are so encouraging and I'm grateful to know you're all out there. My garden is my solace and it breaks my heart I can't work in it and tend my plants but having it there is calming. I think it takes courage to go through this and help others at the same time and right now I dont have much. My husband is my rock..but I feel he needs some respite from this too. I wish you all a good weekend.

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