Returning to work, well sort of.

[Khonkaen]

Officially I still run a business in the UK, but it has been running itself for the past 10 years. Now I am forced back in the thick of it and am having trouble coping with some fairly simple tasks and a little bit of aggro. Stress and anxiety are giving me chest pains.

This year my stress levels went up trying to secure a resident's permit for my wife, which had taken 3 years due to a mix up between the 3 countries. I didn't handle that too well either.

Now I know a few of you guys have returned to work and wondered if you had any tips, any changes in the way you handle business.

There is no one to share this burden, just me, myself and I.

[Heythrop51]

And like all your other posts you will just ignore all good advice and do your own thing. I am hitting the snooze button!

[Lezzers]

If you type in "returning to work" in the magnifying glass at the top of the page you will be able to read all the posts about returning to work!! Loads of answers there!!!!

[Khonkaen in reply to Lezzers]

Okay thanks, I will look there.

I have had this manufacturing business since 1985, we make life saving equipment, so it isn't all about the money. I am 68, my wife younger, but cannot help.

Cheers.

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

How old are you and your wife? May be it is time to consider downsizing and retirement. At six months post cardiac event/surgery most people have returned to work often via a phased return. Some have had to change jobs because of the physical demands or stress is too much. If you do as suggested in the previous post you will see their stories. Time to evaluate things I believe...

[Heythrop51 in reply to MichaelJH]

Sound advice!

[Dolphin14]

What do you do at your job? Life saving equipment? My point, are you doing physical heavy work? Or running your company?

Why can't your wife help out?

[Khonkaen]

We make equipemnt for rescuing cattle and horses, plus some veterinary applications, not much physical work at all. I stopped that many years ago when I sold the other half of my business. I may soon have an involvement in larger animals, but this is design work, not stressful just enjoyable. Funnily enough it is associated form filling and bureaucracy that gives me the stress, thanks to my dyslexia.

Looking at the another posting they mention probiotics which help with stress.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Khonkaen]

I see, do you do anything to help your stress, anxiety?

[Sunnie2day in reply to Khonkaen]

If it's the paperwork giving you stressful hours, have you considered a PA? Someone you can trust completely, obviously, but having a PA can make all the difference.

I'm my husband's PA now he's retired but still doing consultant work and he says if he'd had me (or someone like me) when he was still in work, he'd still be in work - he took early retirement over the stress and nearly all that stress was paperwork related.

[Khonkaen in reply to Sunnie2day]

It is a nice thought but I could never afford one or keep her busy enough, I will just have to cope with this situation in a laid back fashion. Then where would I find one when I am rarely in the UK, I have a part time accounts clerk, but she has very serious health issues right now.

This will come and go I am sure and then back to retirement +. I am not doing my wife's visas for the first time next year, so that nice, though I still have my own here to do next month and that is always gangs of fun.

[Sunnie2day in reply to Khonkaen]

You can always go 'piece work' with a 'virtual' assistant - everything is done by email and run off the printer for hard copies. The costs are reasonable, the companies specialising in virtual PAs are insured and most have PAs with accounting and para-legal training and experience.

My husband is dyslexic and those yellow transparencies weren't enough to help him when faced with stacks and stacks eyebrow tall of multi-million GBP project forms. He really does say if he'd known about PAs back in the day he would have had one.

Your call, though, of course. Good luck going forward!

[Khonkaen in reply to Sunnie2day]

Worth a look thanks.

[Lezzers in reply to Khonkaen]

You've previously said your small staff are very competent, that would indicate you have more than 1 employee. Perhaps the remaining staff can pick up the work between them, that's what most small & large companies do.

[Khonkaen]

As I said, I haven't had much involvement over the past ten years, we have stockists who just place orders. I just keep an eye on things and it is quite relaxing doing what I know how. But things have suddenly changed and I am just a little fragile.

I will revert to my Lorazepam if the pain gets too much, that seems to work, takes only 15 minutes to kick in. Drugs not ideal though.

Just looking to see what others have done, especially those who were forced to return for financial reasons, where there is pressure.

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Khonkaen]

Lorazepam is used to treat anxiety but can be addictive after 2 - 4 weeks. It is also used as a sedative for some procedures.

Using it long term to manage worry and anxiety is not good idea. You could try techniques such as yoga and meditation, or your GP might be able to refer you for something like CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) to help you change how you handle stress.

[Khonkaen in reply to MichaelJH]

Correct, without any other advice I used it every day for 7 months and have recently weaned myself off it, it wasn't easy. I now take it only when I really need it, knowing it's adictive effects. The other thing about it is that it loses it's effectiveness after regular use.

[Sunnie2day in reply to Khonkaen]

It loses efficacy owing to 'tolerance' - you build it up over time and then take more to get the same effect.

[Hidden]

I wouldn't think your Thai Wife would be happy living in the UK, permanently.

They usually return after spending a few years unhappy, living in the UK.

They usually join their British husbands in the UK, but have seen them returning later, unsurprisingly.

[Khonkaen in reply to Hidden]

If I didn't know better I would say that was a racist comment, she is not a "Thai Wife" she is my wife. We are a very happy couple who just happen to come from different continents, we met by chance while I was wandering and the choice to live in Portugal instead of the UK was mainly mine. Portugal has a better climate, cleaner air, less stress and is much cheaper, so we can afford to do the things we like to do.

I am sure you didn't mean it, but it isn't nice to typecast people in that way.

[CocoChannel in reply to Khonkaen]

Sawut dee Khonkaen, sorry you hear you’re not feeling good. I lived in Thailand and a lot of Thais I know who moved to Europe never want to go back to Thailand again.

You mentioned Portugal. Does/did your wife have any sort of residency there? My wife is Malaysian, but we lived in Europe before coming to the UK. It made the visa process way easier. If yes, let me know and I’ll give more details.

Chok Dee (good luck) and take it easy.

[Khonkaen in reply to CocoChannel]

My wife still has family here, including two great kids and a 87 year old mum, so we love going back. Hate the flights.

It took 3 years, but she now has her residencia, so no visas...yiha!!

[CocoChannel in reply to Khonkaen]

If she has residency in Portugal, the U.K. is still in the EU so you can benefit from that?

gov.uk/government/collectio...

[Khonkaen in reply to CocoChannel]

I fear that is not so, UK is not part of the Schengen area.

[Heythrop51 in reply to Khonkaen]

With your business in the UK it does seem like a lack of forward planning! You need that PA!

[CocoChannel in reply to Khonkaen]

Well it worked for my wife in Germany. It’s not a matter of Schengen, it’s the European Economic Area. If you google Surinder Singh (he’s someone who took the U.K. gov to court and changed the ruling), it explains how someone with residency in the EEA can get a U.K. visa much easier.

[Khonkaen in reply to CocoChannel]

We can get a UK visa here in Thailand and I think it is free, I haven't decided whether to bother or not. I "think" we can get the UK campervan and Vespa MOT'd in Spain. Which means we don't need to visit the UK and instead get my family and friends to visit us in Portugal for a summer holiday.

One of my daughters lives in Denmark anyway, the other has her own campervan.

I will look into it anyway and do the trip to BKK en-route to Kho Chiang.

[CocoChannel in reply to Khonkaen]

Ko Chang is great 👍

Well, good luck whatever happens, but in a few months that EEA option might be gone.

If I’d have had to do things the U.K. way, I would’ve stayed in Europe. The U.K. visa (for my wife) was quite expensive and had all sorts of conditions attached to my income. Not a problem now perhaps but who knows what may happen in the future if I couldn’t work. The Surinder Singh route was cheaper, easier and my income wasn’t a factor.

[Khonkaen in reply to CocoChannel]

Yes, the hippie island.

In previous years we would pay £60 for a UK visa and the schengen one was free, but meant 3 trips to BKK. This year we left the UK visa and paid a shed lot for one in Lisbon and waited 2 months for it. We only woke up the UK visa office when I phoned my MP, they chased them 4 times.

This all did wonders for my heart condition. Hence my hatred of unaccountable burocrats.

[CocoChannel in reply to Khonkaen]

Oops, I think we’re talking different visas. I meant a long-term residency visa with employment etc. I guess you’re meaning a shorter-term visa.

Get the van sorted locally 👍

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Khonkaen]

Don't forget you will have to renew your driving licence at 70. Can your wife drive?

[Khonkaen in reply to MichaelJH]

I just renewed mine at 68 and it valid for 10 years??? In addition I get an international licence each year so I can ride my motorbikes...instead of having to pay £700 for a UK licence.

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Khonkaen]

Where does the £700 come from? Motorcycles are just a group on a UK licence or have you not passed your motorcycle test?

[Khonkaen in reply to MichaelJH]

Yes, that's what the whole thing costs nowadays, to get a UK bike licence and a couple of months in the UK jumping through hoops. It costs about Eur 900 in Portugal.....or I get a meped.

But I have a Thai licence, the test took 40 seconds, plus 30 questions and my international licence is B500 (£12.50) a year. And before anyone asks "are you safe" I say, "if you can ride in Thailand for 12 years, plus Laos and Vietnam, you can ride anywhere".

On this licence I can rude a bike up to 500kg, but actaull have a Vespa, if I get my health back, a Royal Enfield 650 Interceptor next year. Here's hoping.

We bought the scooter in Cromer Norfolk and rode it back (2 up plus luggage) to Portugal 2 years ago., fantastic My two passions, motorcycles and campervan wild camping....Growing old disgracfully as we all should.

[Heythrop51 in reply to Khonkaen]

I get occasional emails offering me passports, driving licences and other documents. Seem dubious to me like the Russian ladies that want to meet

me!

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Khonkaen]

The maximum period for a UK licence after 70 is 3 (three) years. At the same time you lose your C1 and D entitlements. To retain those you have to pass an annual medical at your own expense!

[Khonkaen in reply to MichaelJH]

No lorries or busses, that's okay. My new licemce was sent to my sister's I thought it was 10 years will check.

My wife also has an internation licence for auto and manual, but we have an automatic truck in Thailand so she has no experience with a manual box. Been practicing .

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

If your moniker relates to where you live you are near Queen Sirikit Heart Center of the North East. Are you under them or a more general hospital?

[Khonkaen in reply to MichaelJH]

That's the place, around 3km from my house.

[Heythrop51]

Another thought! Thailand is quite hot and humid so would not be a holiday destination for me. Having read posts here over the past few months people with heart conditions seem to struggle in both hot weather and as the temperature drops. Maybe this is creating background stress and you should consider relocating to a more temperate climate?

[Khonkaen in reply to Heythrop51]

The reason why were plan on spending less time here, the winters can be very nice, but are sometimes short. I can see 2-3 months here in the future.

Funnily enough I used to feel the heat a lot here and sweat like a pig, by since my HA, sweating has reduced, I guess due to improved circulation.