To my loveunlocked pen pals.

[kefalonia1]

Have you noticed how many F*****g times that LEGOLAND advert has been on in the last four weeks. Talk about being haunted !!!

[laura_dropstitch Heart Star]

😘

[tunybgur]

Don't quite see what you're getting at....and I'm rather sad to see this level of comment used on a serious site.

[laura_dropstitch Heart Star in reply to tunybgur]

There is a background to this, not just a random annoyance at Lego

healthunlocked.com/bhf/post....

[tunybgur in reply to laura_dropstitch]

Comments without any historical context don't bother me, I was just sad to see the use of foul language for emphasis, but I guess it's just another indication of the direction our society is going.

I'm no prude and I know all the words, and have used them on occasions, but when I was a lad we never swore in front of girls and the girls never swore, and we would certainly never use them in public or to punctuate normal conversation, but nowadays anything goes, and this is the first time I've seen it on this site....is that progress?

[kefalonia1 in reply to tunybgur]

Read my reply to Laura.

[kefalonia1 in reply to laura_dropstitch]

Hi Laura, thanks for your support. Perhaps if others read my LEGOLAND DREAD post they will understand. On reflection maybe l should not have been so strong worded but that is how l felt on a very bad day. l do not like people passing judgement on me when they don't know the back story of my torrid ordeal! l rarely ever swear but if they had gone through my journey lm sure or hope they would be a bit more understanding. l am not posting for a while because of this negative reaction l cannot be bothered. Once again thanks Laura, xxx

[kefalonia1 in reply to tunybgur]

Read my reply to Laura.

[kefalonia1 in reply to tunybgur]

Read my reply to Laura.

[laura_dropstitch Heart Star]

Since my HF diagnosis (and the news that I couldn't have another child) coincided with having my daughter, I was BOMBARDED with adverts aimed at new mums while I was trying to come to terms with everything. It was like a slap in the face every time, everything I had pictured for my future that wasn't going to happen now, like Jim Bowen at the end of Bullseye saying, "Let's take a look at what you COULD have won..." only a million times worse. I remember reading at the time that there were parents who had miscarried or lost a child and couldn't get Boots to stop sending them marketing material saying, "Now your child is X months old..." etc. Horrific. I guess the commercial world is not geared up for the out-of-the-ordinary, they are all about the average customer with the average experience of life. But it sucks when you can't seem to escape painful reminders. I totally get where you are coming from. Lots of love xxx

[laura_dropstitch Heart Star in reply to laura_dropstitch]

PS "Mum" adverts don't bother me now. I hope you become similarly immune to Legoland

[tunybgur]

I appreciate your problems which are not inconsiderable. This site is full of people with similar stories and issues and they post here for advice and reassurance which I believe is a great help to many of them.

The quality of comment is very high, but I was concerned that if it degenerates to the level of Twitter or Facebook where this sort of language is very common, many people will stop using it because they find it distasteful, as I do.

I know many people will strongly disagree but I believe there is a huge (mostly silent) majority who feel as I do.

I wish you well in the future.

[Alice_Ro]

I have to disagree with this opposition to people expressing their feelings about their experience in their words. The (blanked!) swearing in this post is not about another person or insighting any hatred towards any group of people. It is about how she/he feels.

I swear when I am angry and when I am hurt. Something that I have felt often since the start of my heart ordeal. Sometimes it makes me feel better. And sometimes it simply gives me a voice for how sh*t I feel. Swearing is part of a developed vocabulary of self expression that we are all entitled to choose from. Even us girls!

I think a key part of the value of this site is the diversity of the people with shared experiences it brings together. I think we should focus on supporting each other rather than policing the blanked(!) swearing of people who are looking for that support. I don't care if the way I or others express themseleves outside of the (perceived) majority. I am a 29 year old woman experiencing multiple cardiac arrests. That already puts me outside of the majority, and sometimes I feel sh*t about it.

Sending love xx

[kefalonia1]

Hi Alice, thank you for your support and amazing words!!!. You are so young to have endured all those cardiac arrests yet you have the kindness and compassion to think about other people just like Laura, she is my rock and like you very wise. l do not want to enter a slanging match with someone whose opinion is never going to change and who l don't give a monkeys about. l stand by my (blanked) words and those who have got to know me and helped me so much with their empathy and kind words are the only people l care about. Just as you say we are all very diverse yet it works. The phrase "walk a mile in my shoes" comes to mind!!! l have a wicked sense of humour and physically am improving but the LEGOLAND advert is a million knives in my side. Constantly appearing it reminds me so much of the vibrant, fit, carefree person l was when l went there and had a great time before l contracted severe sepsis 3 weeks later which ate my heart. l ran around like a 30 yr old with my family all day and then my life changed and l went to hell and back. l was dead twice but my Consultant surgeon dragged me back to life, (his actual words) forever my Hero. l felt the advert was haunting me just as l was feeling better emotionally and every time l saw it l cried for the "lost forever" Sue. l know many others are worried about voicing the cardiac depression it is hard to explain and we keep it from loved ones not to worry them yet freedom of speech with each other helps us heal!!! This site is mostly full of lovely people who through shared experiences gain strength from each others non judgemental acceptance, advice and love for strangers. l hope you feel better in yourself and know l am, and so many good people on this site always there for you. Take care xxx

[Alice_Ro in reply to kefalonia1]

Hi Sue

To know you found my response helpful makes me happy. Thank you for sharing your story and through that enabling other people to be more open about the mental health problems that so often come with physical health problems and trauma. What you've come through, and what you are still living with, is really hard!

I am in the process of being referred to a psychologist and can relate to missing the simplicity of the times before it all happened.

Thank you for offering your support xxx

[kefalonia1 in reply to Alice_Ro]

Let everyone know how you get on Alice, l wish you well on your journey honey! Sue x

[Zena166]

Hi Sue. Thank you for voicing the issues of cardiac depression so well. I still have days of sobbing for no apparent reason. I don’t have a specific trigger as you do. I wonder if it’s worth asking to see a health psychologist who may help you to deal with your trigger as it’s obviously so powerful. It’s interesting you refer to the lost forever Sue. That still resonates as well. I am trying to focus on finding a new me and being comfortable within my own skin. A journey that is ongoing! Do take care and sending lots of love and hugs to you and all who need support. Zena x

[kefalonia1]

Hi Zena, thank you so much for your lovely post. lts crazy how cardiac depression creeps up on you when you are surrounded by wonderful family and friends yet you feel alone. l don't know if you feel the same but l want the old Sue back. l know that will never happen and l felt guilty when l heard last week about a friend of a friend who woke up on holiday in Greece and found his young wife 31 dead beside him, she had a undiagnosed heart problem and a massive heart attack killed her, they had their two young children under 5 with them, how awful! My two oldest Grandsons were with me at Legoland and when the advert came on one said "you didn't have a poorly heart when we were there did you Nanny" he's only 7 yet he has noticed the change in me which is very sad. l will get better but its taking longer than l hoped for the scars inside me to heal l must stop having "pity parties" when l am alone.!!!Thanks again for your kind words. Sue x

[Shoshov]

Stop being so petty people. We're here to help and support. How many of us have been so wound up that we need to vent. I'm not advocating bad language but a bit of perspective needed. We now have someone who needs our support leaving the group because of silly remarks. So sad

[kefalonia1]

Thanks so much, l have tried to explain the reason behind my post in the hope people address the cardiac depression which is often hidden from loved ones, and how a simple thing like an advert can trigger a tsunami of sadness that kicks you in the teeth and knifes you in your already broken heart. l have decided not to leave the group completely just take some breathing space out of it with no more posts. l will respond to posts from others if l think l can help and support them but l need some space to recharge. Take care and enjoy the summer, lt is predicted to be scorching all through July! Take care, Sue.

[Shoshov]

Totally agree sue. Important things in life don't come all nicely packaged. Don't let plebs knock your confidence and recovery. Feel free to message me if you need to vent stay strong my friend😘

[kefalonia1]

Thanks honey, xxx