Coming to terms with my condition

[Heartnorman]

Hello to all. No more living in denial I have a condition that is not going to go away but at 50 I feel I am to young for life to stop

[Mister1]

Well to the community Heartnorman ...I'm like yourself quite young 45 and never through I would be in a situation of having two heat attacks,angina and ACS.

It's amazing how debilitating it all can be and life changing it can be.

I would recommend in reading a Statin free life by Dr Aseem Malhotra and do not feel frightened to ask any questions about your condition.

[Heartnorman in reply to Mister1]

Thank you Mister 1. I’m really struggling with the mental state of mind I have. I have always worked and worked in construction this is all I know and now I can’t do the only work I know

[Testament in reply to Heartnorman]

My mental state is really bad at moment.

[fishonabike in reply to Heartnorman]

It is hard to get through stuff like this - I had to give up the nursing job I loved because of a health problem and a further health problem forced me to take early retirement, at 43, from the new work i also loved - it was devastating

I have been lucky as I have been able to survive financially and good support from my partner got me through the psychological gloom of it

There is no single way through this but there will be your way and I hope you find it

I know that talking to a counsellor can be really helpful and finding something else you love doing and can do. For me focusing in the good moments helped, but there are lots of bumpy bits to come on the road to the new you.

[Mister1]

Hi Heartnorman and Testament ,

I understand completely about the situation with mental health. I myself I have been suffering with my mental health.. I feel that there is little to no mental health support for people with diagnosis, newly diagnosed or continuous life affecting conditions.

When I spoke to my consultant and highlighted I was about to lose my job which I need to have to support disabled partner and 5 year old son his reply was " you have waited 8 months to see me so what is waiting another 2 months for an possible ablation treatment"

I am now be going into my 3rd month to see him for my follow up appointment.

[Heartnorman in reply to Mister1]

I had 2 appointments with the after care heart team and then told pretty much to keep taking the tablets. It’s not those who work on the frontline of the NHS I have nothing but respect for them all I just think the management of resources and its finances are the problem. Fortunately I am lucky to have a great and supportive GP

[RufusScamp]

A heart problem is not automatically a death sentence. I refer people to the case of a man who had a heart attack in his 50s, and died on his 103rd birthday. Take care of yourself wrt diet and exercise, and give yourself the best chance.

[Blindbeggar83]

got diagnosed just before Christmas. I’m 41. Since I was told, I’ve changed my diet, gone from jogging 15mins to 30mins. I’ve conceded that one day I will need surgery so preparing for it now. I can only do my bit. The rest is up to our wonderful doctors. 🙏

It’s certainly made me more spontaneous and all my other fears and anxieties I had have taken a back seat.

Mentally it is exhausting. Fear anger sadness frustration.

I pray one day, they will cure this with a simple pill!

[Redfloyd]

All the make side of my family have heart issues, I'm the first of the generation that has had the benefit of treatment. I had my first stent at 48, second at 57, AVR and CABG last September at 61. Yesterday I spent the day with a chainsaw and an axe and up again this morning to do the same. I just take the tablets and each day is a bonus.

[sandandkev]

It must be difficult but things are progressing so fast nowadays that treatments are so effective

[Stringthing]

Ths time last year I smugly thought I was in perfect health at 55. Since then I've had abnormal mammogram (non cancerous lump removed & being monitored annually), bicuspid heart valve, aneurysm, high bp and although my cholesterol is in normal ranges it's above a lower threshold for heart conditions. It's a lot. However, my mum, uncle and grandad all died you from heart/ circulatory issues & I'm a bit floored by it but also philosophical. I will probably need one or more operations in the future, but I should expect to live longer than my family which is a good thing. Spaces like this where you can share your thoughts with people who understand are so helpful.

[BobbyB1962]

You don't say what heart condition you have. Why do you think life will stop?

[Wishcld]

I understand.

it knocked me for six. But I can’t do anything, but get on with it. I went on anxiety meds as I didn’t leave my room for months - now I exercise and all-sorts no alcohol and keep trying to get through each day.

I’m 43 and was diagnosed with a heart condition at 42….. I’m dad’s got several heart issues and he is now coming up for 70 and he’s amazing with it all.

[World1inmotion]

Welcome Heartnorman. Not sure what your condition is other than CVD. However I 'd just like to assure you that life doesn't have to stop just because you have a heart condition. It may have to change sometimes a bit and sometimes a lot but it is not an end. You said that you have a supportive GP which is always a plus. Try asking whether they can refer you or point you in the direction of some mental health support if that's what you want . Try talking to the cardiac nurses at BHF helpline. Hope things improve for you soon and keep letting this community know how you are getting on.

[Driver11]

What ever your problem is life is very precious. We go through different emotions which is normal but don't give up. You never know what is just round the corner.

[SuddenShock]

Just echoing most of the other comments. It is not neccessarily terminal and, unless you are an avid mountaineer or something, it might not even be massively life changing.

I had a sudden diagnosis at 60 (believe me that 60 still feels very young when you get there), the original consultant really gave me no hope or options. Since then a second and clearly much better consultant has put me on a waiting list for a multiple bypass so now living in hope.

I did realise that pre-diagnosis I had been living with this and post-diagnosis I was actually no different so no worse off.

I have changed my diet. After years of saying that I would try anything foodwise, I realised that I actually missed out on some pretty ordinary stuff in search of spices and "exciting" food. No kebabs since before Christmas but lots of boiled eggs, baked beans, porridge, prawns (not in the same meal)

I did cut down on alcohol, I used to have a bottle of wine on Fridays as a treat for getting through the week and an occasional social drink as well, now I just have the social drink every few weeks.

The only other thing that I changed was to cut down on worry and stress, hard to do when someone drops you a bombshell but yes I am still as I was before the diagnosis and someone at some point is going to help sort out the physical bits.

Good luck but remember to come back here to have a chat and support the rest of us at the same time

[Catlover1981]

I think of it like this my mum started with health issues at age of 28, thyroid condition and at the age of 43 2 days before she had me had an heart attack and she now has dementia but she's now 87 and is still going.

[Heartnorman]

Just hitting a brick wall at the moment. I have now had my defibrillator attached for nearly a year and touch wood no alarms yet, maybe because of the changes I’ve made eg no smoking change of diet and gentle exercise but mentally I am frustrated as I would like nothing more than to return to the workplace but obviously there are limitations. I had always worked in construction which entails much physical effort. Made the mistake of returning to the workplace I only know of after both my 1st and second cardiac arrests( I have had 3 in total). I now like before fill totally rested but still have occasions of breathlessness doing simple tasks, which obviously sets the alarm bells ringing.

I want to return to the workplace but how am I going to achieve this. I can not do what I only know due to my limitations and then I think to myself who is going to want to employ me at 50 in an entry level position and carry the disabilities I have. Who’s going to to allow me to keep having to use the toilet like I do because of the water tablets I have to take because my heart is not functioning strong enough to pump fluids around my body. I have no choice I have to take them.

I have always worked enabling my family to have a comfortable lifestyle and not go without but now I am struggling to achieve this on the limited finances and resources available to me. Mentally this is what driving me down and I don’t see an escape. I can not make the mistakes like I have before in trying to believe I can have a life with normality, as next time I might not be so lucky

[cabgpatch]

You're obviously going through a tough process right now, but the fact that you are aware of the limitations of where you are at is a good thing. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but in your favour, you know you can't go back to the work you were doing previously, and you still want to do the right thing by your family.

You say that all you know is construction, and that is true in a work context. It sounds like the only job you have done. Is it all you know though. Do you have expertise or talents outside of how you have earned a wage? If you do, can they be utilised to earn a wage? If not, is there anything that you always fancied having a go at, but never tried because you could make a living in construction. Conversely, if you have a lot of experience in construction, are there jobs where you could pass on that experience?

I take your point about your physical limitations and the attitude of some employers, but is that something you are assuming or have found to be true? Have you looked around? I don't mean to be hard on you, just to suggest that maybe there are options you can try. As you suggest, doing nothing is not a great option.

I know these things may seem like trying to climb Everest right now, but if there was an easy way out, you would have found it by now.

Thing is, it is possible. I've had to change the work I was doing a number of times in my working life for different reasons, some medical, and having to start from scratch a couple of times and build up from nothing. It's not easy, but it is possible. Maybe some of these thoughts hit a chord with you, sorry for wasting your time if you've already gone through all this yourself. I hope you find your way through where you are right now.

Paul

[Headache1001]

I’m sorry that you are having a hard (totally understandable) time and feel your frustration. Hope you can get back to accepting and enjoying a new normal, and possibly find a new career outlet. I think stopping work removes part of your life focus and motivation (I’m attempting to return to work next week) but it’s extra hard if you feel responsible for bringing in the finances. Construction is a very physical job to replace and I can’t imagine an office job would be very satisfying for you. Sorry that I have no words of wisdom as I am new on this journey and just beginning to realise I need to accept a new normal despite being 54. Tricky going from fit and healthy to being restricted on what you can and can’t do. Wishing you happier days ahead.