1 week 2 go

[mewg]

1 week to go till aortic valve replacement and im getting very snappy and angry with my partner and my kids any1 else had this as im useually calm.thanks paul

[Natascha]

Hey Paul

Just an outsiders view from over here but would think it's more than likely because your stressed and getting a tad anxious which is very understandable. You've put yourself on a countdown to the op so your stressing at the marking off of the days to get it over and done with, then your pondering in the back of your mind about after the op, then other things are irritating you as compared to what you are about to have done ... lets face it the majority of other things are trivial and irritating compared to what you have set in your mind is ahead of you. I bet your partner and kids are trying their very best to try and keep things normal and do understand your stressed and they are stressed seeing you stressed but can't do a ruddy thing about it - huge circle and not very pleasant from either side.

How about ..... just walk up to each one of them and give them a hug for no other reason than you can, just say actually getting snappy and irritated and I don't know why as you know this isn't usually like me just bear with me a bit. May relieve some of your stress and theirs too. Sometimes chatting to those closest too us as they are the ones we usually take things out on without realising it, hmm laying the cards on the table sharing what's really going on inside and acknowledging it is far better than trying to hide it (usually very badly!) Lets face it you and they do not need extra anxiety throwing in mix with everything else. You need to bring your emotional stresses down as it won't help you and unless you all jump into the same boat and row together like you always have done then your all going to get nowhere fast.

I wish you well for the op and thereafter.

[mewg in reply to Natascha]

thanks i have just sat down with my misis and explained how i feel and it has helped me my kids are only 21 months and 3 so they dont understand.i just need 2 find sumthing 2 keep me busy i think and get a good night sleep will help aswell.cheers very good advice xx

[Natascha in reply to mewg]

You can still hug your kiddies just because you can and you can still talk to them even though they don't understand what your talking about. Sometimes just saying something out loud instead of in your head to yourself over and over again can actually make things a tad clearer in understanding it and acknowledging it.

Sooooo this busy thing you need to occupy your head with ain't so hard really it's just managing to focus on it that's the tricky thing. Your currently focussing on the negatives and you need to alter your train of though and leap into the positives. Life should be more about the good stuff than the everyday naff things we have to do so push the boat out and do some of the good stuff just for the heck of it all! Right lets see ...... ok how about a carpet picnic throw all the cushions on the floor grab some healthy nibbles kick your shoes off and you and the Mrs have a movie night snuggled down watching whatever. Take the kids go feed the ducks in the park? There must be plenty of things that you used to occupy your mind with ... airfix kits? doing fly fishing flies? walking down a lane and kicking autumn leaves? Watching F1? Planning a holiday for next year? Reading that book you always thought you'd get around to? Motorbikes? Planning the garden? Fish tank? Cooking? Designing a tattoo? Photography? Playing with the kiddies toys with them? Tidy the garage out ... actually scrap that sounds too much like hard work lol.

Ok that's the first one million and one things lol take your pick focus on it and start rowing together to your destination.

Sleep ... sorry can't help with that one ..... talking to the wrong person .... I sleep for 3 or 4 hours on average in every 24 always have done!

[mewg]

well fairplay you havent missed anything out im sitting here now smerking lol up the lane kicking autumn leaves lol my daughters name is autumn im so glad i joined this group as all of the things you have said are spot on i will take them all on board as it is allright i gotta look 2 the future with my kids and mises and this is just another chapter in my life thanks xxx

[Mary_Janet]

Poor you, you have such a lot on your plate. Although you don't like how you are feeling or being towards others it is a very normal reaction to this incredibly stressful situation. Your kids don't understand which is helpful at times and not at others. In their minds life goes on and with it the banality of the daily grind. On the other hand the kids will be able to supply huge numbers of cuddles and hugs.

I was admitted to hospital not knowing I had a heart condition let alone that I required surgery. I only had 3 weeks to adjust to the fact I needed surgery and a week when I knew the date. I am sure if I had been at home I would of been very difficult to live with...It is such a nervous and unreal time.

Good luck with the next few days, thinking of you.

Mary

[mewg in reply to Mary_Janet]

thanks mary i think alot of why im like this is worry as my daughter has down sydrome and my misis has post natel depression.so im worried sick on how she will cope as my daughter is a full daddys girl.im sure everything will be ok ive had some good advice and here of all of you.3weeks you had thats a challenge aswell how you doing now x

[Mary_Janet in reply to mewg]

I am doing well thank you. Busy muscle building as I lost 1 1/2 stone in weight and was slim to start with. The physical side is the easier part for me. I find it hard to realise all that has happened to me in the passed few months. I have seen occupation health today and can go back to work in the New Year, I will do a phased return over a month. It is a long struggle but worth it in the end.

[Hidden]

Hi and good luck with the op, it's a lot of worry for you with the family, but once it's been done you will be able to have much more quality time with them all, the wee ones will probs pick up on it, sometimes I think they understand much more than us adults do! Take care char x

[mewg in reply to Hidden]

thanks char my son keeps telling he loves me lol so i think he knows.i feel abit better 2day after a chat with my best mate so i got 2 keep positive and b4 i know it il be fit as a fiddle x

[Hidden in reply to mewg]

Awe how sweet, mine are long grown up, my granddaughter is 10, you forget about those priceless little moment that you should savor, not too long now till the op is over I am sure the little ones love will help with dads recovery, take care xx