British Heart Foundation

Update

Hi all, yet another crapy day in the life of a heart failure patient 💔, back to the "why me" stage, cardiologist this morning, blood pressure normal, instead of low, for a change due to it taking me an hour stuck in traffic to get there! He is increasing the beta blocker, great! Then came the body blow the Professor, came to see me after to say my appointment for my icd is 15th Dec, due to fly to Spain with another five couples for new year, gutted 😥 😥 really feel for my other half as well as feeling sorry for myself, it's just been a bad week my wee mum was in getting skin cancer removed and a graft a lot at 88, my wages have been stopped and I have no idea where to get money from? Been working for 45 years, I think this was just the straw today, I know it's def not the worst thing to happen and there will be other hols I hope, just having a moment here, moan over, char xx

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Oh, Char, that sucks! Is there no way they could leave ICD until January? I know you have been looking forward to that holiday. Hope you cope OK with the increased dose of beta blockers and feel a bit better about things soon x

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I have to give him his due he didn't want the holiday cancelled and went to see them today to try and get it done now but unfortunately no joy, he said if I cancelled that appointment I would be put to the back of the waiting list and it could be Apr or even may before it was done, he really didn't want me to wait that long and in the end I wouldn't want to take the chance either just in case something happened, I am going to see if mabe jet 2 will let me change the flights to later in the year because of the circumstances, it would be nice to have something to look forward to 😎 xx

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That's a good idea, good luck x

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Soz ... Poor you hope you and your mum are ok ... sending ♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏

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Thanks, ♥ x

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oh FFS, excuse the vernacular. I am so sorry to hear this Chaz, I got a full refund from Easyjet this time last year after a call to them so do try with Jet 2, I hope that bit is successful

chin up

Mark

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Thanks I will do x

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Hi Mark I meant to ask you, was it just there customer service you phoned? And did you have to send any proof, like the hospital letter, ta char x

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I called their customer service, I had to send through something, I seem to remember it was my discharge letter from the hospital

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Thanks, I will wait till I get the letter to confirm the date etc, it was just my cardiologist that told me at the hospital yesterday x

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Bloody hell, you poor thing, your poor mum, partner and of course the friends you were meant to go with.

Yes like Skid112/Mark said, make that call.

Also CAB concerning your rights with pay etc. I'm getting sick pay with DWP at the no, due to my company stopping my pay.

If it is any consolation Evan though it's not anywhere near your kind of issues today.

I have had one of those days today.

Firstly, sleepless night again. Then felt like I was Keyline over running late for surgery, blood tests.

Then one of the nurses who has become a friend telling me a lady who owns the little Beagle dog Arabella, I looked after for a fortnight a few weeks ago, has got rid of her.

I say rid because she blatantly didn't want her. She was just an accessory for her to show off that needed basic training but received none. Therefore Arabella became too much for her Kardashian lifestyle.

My friend said she fell out with this woman who is a neighbour because she didn't evan vet the people she sold her to for the best price and who were willing to take Arabella off her that same day.

Thankfully though they were an elderly couple who looked like nice people. So hopefully that is kind of a blessing that she is with people who will love her.

I am upset as, if I wasn't in a rented house were I am not allowed to have pets.Knowing she didn't want the dog by her behaviour. For example leaving her with me last minute to go on her seventeen day holiday. Evan though she had never met me before. How could she possibly have know she was leaving her seven month old puppy in safe hands.

Lucky for poor little Arabella that I am a dog lover.

People like that really anger me....

Next thing that has happened today

I seemed somehow over night to have managed to have hurt the outside of my right hand. One minute it feels ok, but then the next I go to move my hand or try to pick up or move something with it. And the pain shoots up my arm and feels like it's broken.

last thing,

I am looking after a greyhound two lunchtimes' a week while the family are at university and work.

She is a rescue dog, they have had her for just over a year. They think she is around four years old. She is a really nervous dog as she was ill treated.

She is scared of men who smell of alcohol.

She is scared of loud bangs

She is scared of the outdoor

And her new family said when I started a couple of months ago. That they were Evan struggling to get her to enter ger own back garden.

So the fact that some days they can't work from home. They decided they wanted her to have company mid day two days a week.

She crawled my first visit, so I just read to her from a sofa the other side of the room.

She came over to sus me out again now her family weren't around.

By the second visit I let her follow me into her garden. Bless she popped over to me a couple of times but it was on her terms. She was so scared the whole time, so kept her distance for most of the visit.

Week two, she was like putty in my hands.

She came into the garden and evan ran after her football. We stayed out there most of the visit every time I went there from then on in.

Her family were really chuffed that I had really become her friend.

However, yesterday she was back to her nervous self. She did venture into the garden, but there was some workmen a couple of doors up doing what workmen do. They were banging and slamming just generally making loads of noise.

So she decided to stay indoors after that.

No matter, I just cuddled her while reading out loud. She seemed nervous and grumpy.

Today, well it was about 12:45 time I had got there. Not sleeping last night then fasting due to having blood tests this morning. I hadn't eaten or taken morning tabs yet.

Pickle, that's the greyhound by the way.

Well she didn't want to go out at all today.

So I sat on her sofa, as she has her own sofa and started reading the messages from on this forum. She came and sat with me. But she was really quite restless most of the visit. Doing lots of grumping around while pushing and shoving me as if to kick me of. She settled down by really sniggling in behind me.

Every so often I turned and stroked her, but I didn't over do it, just kept it short and sweet.

I was just writing a message on here about palpatations etc. I said ok it's time for me to go Pickle, I need my brunch and take my meds.

I went to get up, don't know if I spooked her. But she suddenly yelled, barked then bit me.

She was then agresifly noring at my side.

I sternly said no! Stop that, it is very naughty.

She let go, I moved into the kitchen where I keep report forms and started writing what had happened just to distract both her and I from the situation.

I was really trembaling inside, but didn't want her to sence this, worst thing anyone could do in those circumstances.

But my god, did she shake me up. Hahaaa I was just writing about pounding hearts, talk about adrenaline.

I think it scared me more as I was by myself. Who knows what was going on through that little girl's mind? She is so scared of her own shadow bless her.

Anyway, I still carried on talking like nothing had happened. But I must say I was relieved to get out of there today, shaking all the way home.

So Chaz not in anyway as bad as yours, but pretty bad in the normal state of things.

Hope you are feeling better and your partner understands.

Sending hugs, Jo xx ☺

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Hi, I think we are parallel in the bad days! I do admire people that take in rescue dogs a girl I work with has a greyhound and a staffy, and it's lovely that you could try and help out,but you must have been terrified today, I would have been, def not good for the old ticker, I hope you are all right now, I would not be able to go near poor pickles again, that was a pity about the little beagle they are gorgeous, I was getting esa to top up my half pay which has now finished, and I have a dwp assessment tomorrow no idea what they expect of me, it's not like you can kid on about a heart ♥ condition grrrr, I hope your hand is ok take care and keep me posted char xx

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Yes I think you will get the DWP, not much but every little helps. I hope it does all go well tomorrow. Don't forget to phone the airline a.s.a

I know, but I have to go back next week. As I don't think it would be fare for me to give up without a try at really understanding her poor little lady. Well tall little lady, haha

I also wouldn't want to let her owners down. After all, they themselves are trying to shower her in love and security. It's not easy when you can't sus out what scared them in their past life.

I also have to go back for me really. I don't want today to scare me of dogs. I know if I don't go back, that this is a possibility. I don't mind admitting yes I defiantly was indeed terrified.

Yep, I think I will be wary next week. I'll just do my best not to show it.

The old ticker, ha never felt it beating so fast lol 🙄

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You are really brave and caring, I hope you get on ok and it was just a little hiccup xx

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Thanks, purely selfish reasons though.

Always had animals my whole life.

But now days having to rent after ending a poor marriage. I never seem to find properties that allow animals.

So by looking after Pickle and earning a little money. It helps and keeps me out of trouble.

I've got the best of both worlds. I get to spend time having cuddles with her but the owners' get to pay the bils, hehee.

Thanks for your kind words Chaz.

Time to get busy by making my man a nice hot meal. As he'll be home soon after a day of work while feeling pretty ill.

Take care now ☺

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Hi Chas sorry to hear your plans all messed up and if course is frustrating when you were looking forward to your Spain trip.

Not sure it's any consolation.... but while I was waiting for my ICD I went to Majorca on what I thought was a well deserved break before my op. Well I spent £2k on a holiday that I spent most of the time being really worried and just wanting to get back home. While I was being careful of my condition while over here... and had got the ok to go.... with the heat and queues and travelling....i quickly started to feel unwell. I then got really anxious ad I suddenly realised if anything happened I was so far away from my heart team. I did have travel insurance... but genuinely Chas when you are out there worrying you just want to feel safe.

So I ended up spending quite a bit of time holed up on my room ... and not venturing far as I got lots of dizzy spells.

I was so relieved to be back on English soil.... it definitely was not the chilled out relaxing holiday I had hoped for.

So although you are of course disappointed... I am sure your next booked holiday will be all the better for having your implant and all the reassurance and feeling good that the device brings. And by the new year you will be celebrating being on the other side and well on the way to recovering from your op.... with the added bonus of feeling so much better heart wise. Xxx

Big hugs after a crappy day (((( )))) and hope all goes well on the 15th xx

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Thanks for that, I think I would be like that as well, and then be jealous of everyone else having a good time! Although I don't think my other half is quite of the same mind he thinks we should just go and get it done when back, and I thought he understood men grrr ,I did actually mention that to the cardiologist but he said I would go right down to the bottom of the waiting list and it could be Apr or May and he doesn't want me to wait that long, I think that tells me something! ,xx

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Absolutely. And Chas I can honestly say I have felt fabulous since having it done. Yes there have been soreness and healing pains... but I have felt so much more energy .... and just not to have the worry! My son says I am much happier and less stressed now.

Your other half will get over his missed holiday. ( I got pressurised into my holiday by my mum!!) So wish I hadn't gone. You focus on what's best for you hun. Which is getting that device in before Xmas. And listen to what your cardiologist is saying ..... and you will then have a fabulous 2018.... with holidays you can enjoy and join in on.

I have booked a cruise for next year since having my ICD.... the confidence you will feel will help you look forward to holidays rather than worry about them.

And also the sooner you get your ICD.. .. the sooner you will be able to get better and back to work.. . Which is also a consideration with your pay having been stopped. Which I think is horrible bit I know this is how companies work.... would be nice to be able to claim some benefit at these times.... especially having worked hard all our lives it' wrong not to be able to get this short term help that we need..... and we are told not to stress!!!

So focus on 15th Dec hun... and don' let anyone pressure you otherwise. Xxxx

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Thanks for giving me some confidence back, I think he was just so looking forward to going away as we had a fab time last year, funny enough we had been talking about a med cruise for next summer, not that I will be booking anything at moment, get the icd and get used to it first before I think about hols, thanks again for your support and wise words take care char xx

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Praying

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Thank you x

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