Has having your diagnosis or operation made you sit down and review your life?
Are there things you wish you'd done?
Are you now writing a 'bucket list' of what you now want to do with your life?
Have you sat down and thought "I want to do something more interesting with my life, make a difference, start living it to the full?"
Interesting questions,
My bucket list has been rapidly expanding so much so I have made plans for early retirement in order to fulfill this, 17 months to go, fingers crossed. I want to do something more interesting in my life, I aim to do volunteer work locally and to raise funds for the BHF to make a difference.
My sister passed away in March this year, sudden cardiac death. As I had had my HA she had booked in for tests but these weren't completed in time to find and treat the issue, so more money needed for research, she was also active in ADHD in line with her work, I aim to contribute there too.
I enjoy my walking, again lucky that we have a place in Spain surrounded by wonderful countryside, hills and mountains, plus I have a very good friend who acts as a walking tour guide in the Sierra Nevada, I intend, health and fitness willing, to walk up the highest peak there, Mulhacen, in May next year, followed by the length of Hadrians wall in October of next year.
That aside I found out recently I am to become a third time grandfather. I work four days a week, on Thursdays i have lunch with my daughters and son and my grandchildren, we usually go out and get them eating and trying all sorts of cuisine, as we did when mine were younger. Tho i have to say these events are not as traumatic as when my children were younger, maybe age and mellowing makes the throwing of a handful of spaghetti more fun!
I intend to do and encourage more on this forum, its a great inspiration, informative and cathartic for me, to publicise its existence and to make sure heart patients up and down the UK and maybe even beyond, know there is a place to go to find help, a general chat, and support.
Thats a bit long!
Mark
Hi Phil.... yes very much my diagnosis has focussed the mind on what I want to do.... and puts the little stuff we worry about into perspective.
I am only 55 and really don't want to spend the next 12 years working full time..... as time is more precious than ever.
My focus has been how can I pay off my mortgage so that I can go down to part time work (hopefully 3 days a week)
I live on my own so need to look at the financials first in order to do the things that i want to. I have decided to start to take partial payments from my pensuon and should be mortgage free in 18 months.
I don't have a bucket list as such.... for me it's about looking at the things I like doing and plan to do more... So theatre events already being booked. Have booked a trip to Cotswolds in November.
I have decided that it seems too much hassle to go abroad... so another change for me is looking at holidays in UK.. . Which is a change... but looking forward to exploring new places in this country.
More long term plans... I want to do photography.... I write a blog and would like to write more.... and try new things.... new hobbies.
It's still early days for me but yes it's about having lots more me time.... even if it's to sit on the sofa and watch Strictly. Just doing what I want to do when I want to.... and giving up work as soon as I am able.
Hi, my life has changed since a diagnosis of angina and having a stent. Not very dramatic, a neighbour said it was just a little blip. I had some time of work and friends said why don,t you just finish? One good reasons was not having an income,, and I did not want too.
Only a short time after going back I wondered why I had been so keen to go back, as it was very stressful, some caused by a senior member of staff.
Six months later I was offered volntary redundancy and able to have my private pension, so I finished.
I now do some things at church and go singing with a small group in a nursing home. I have not got a bucket list, like going out in the countryside and travel on trains with my husband. It is nice not being at work and there are many places in Britain I still want to visit. Just need to get my new lots of meds sorted and plan the next outing.
Oh yes! When I was told almost a year ago I needed heart surgery I walked out of the hospital and after the initial shock within minutes seemed to have a clarity about how I should get on with my life. A sort of don't waste time and 'don't sweat the small stuff approach'. I think it's made me a better person and I'm happier now than before. 2 weeks post op, with all the trials and tribulations that brings, I'm feeling positive and grateful. No bucket list written yet but I hope to have a nice holiday in 2018 to celebrate recovery.
Many thanks to you all for the replies above *big thumbs up*
I have to admit the mention of surgery has filled me with a sense of fear, allied to the thoughts of "I'm healthy, physically fit and not showing any symptoms....why me!?"
This also got me thinking and backtracking through my life.
Lying in bed this morning, I was thinking "If I didn't make it through surgery (heaven forbid), what would I regret not doing with my life? If I had a second chance, how would I live my life?"
Suddenly I'm thinking about how to use my time more effectively, using that time to help others, through the skills, knowledge and experience I've gained over the years, making my life count for something (as I have no surviving family).
I found out about my heart condition in my 20s and I felt that my life was very much on hold whilst I awaited the time for my operation. My consultant wanted me to have it sooner rather than later (as did I) but the surgeon didn't want to do it until I was more symptomatic (which considering that I have lung issues too was hard to tell anyway). I knew that the notice I would get would be probably no more than 6 months so I didn't want to start anything new which could be interrupted by my operation. Plus I was told not to have children until after, my partner and I have been together for 11 years, and as I got closer to 30 I was worrying about time.
I ended up having my operation in March this year (I turned 30 in February) and I only got just over a week worth of notice!
I decided for sure when I was in hospital that I wanted to train as a nurse. I have been considering it for some time but, partially because of my own experiences, I made the decision then. I've started visiting unis now and I'm hoping to start in September 2018. It does mean the kids will wait at least another 3 years, but that's due to my own choice
My experience in the NHS has made me wish I had gone into some sort of medical career too. It was having my baby that caused (or at least worsened/revealed) my heart problems. I can't have any more children as a result (the hardest part of all I've been through) but my daughter is awesome and nearly six now. I organise my life so that I can make the most of time with her, so going back to uni to retrain in a medical area wouldn't work for me. Not at the moment anyway. I'd love to work somewhere in the health/heart/research/fundraising field though. I'm always looking for jobs with the BHF as I'm sure my skills (and major enthusiasm for their work) could be useful to them in some way. Not found anything yet but hoping to worm my way in eventually 
Having said all that about time with my daughter being my priority and looking for career challenges, the other major adjustment I've made (like some others have said) has been to work less and not feel bad about taking time for myself. I like spending time on my own and pottering about, nothing too exciting, but it makes a huge difference to my happiness.
This has been an interesting thread to read
I think you wanting to work for BHF is similar to me wanting to work in the NHS, it's about using your own experiences to help others, and for me it's about giving something back
Yes, definitely. I think going through an illness and receiving care/support (whether from NHS, BHF, whoever) makes you realise how valuable they are. I definitely want to play a part in that...just not sure what part! Good luck with your studies! X
Hi Laura when I was first diagnosed with HF 22 years ago ... it was just after giving birth to my son. I too was told I could not gave any more children.. . And was sad at this as I wanted more both for me... and so that my son was not an only child. Skip forward to now and at 23 my son is amazing.... we have been able to do so much more together due to having just the one child. We were laughing just this evening about some of our holiday adventures. And my son is ok with being the only one. He said "you had always let me have my mates over... and when they got annoying they at least didn't live here " 😂😂.
And now (secretly) I look forward to the time when I can be nan 😀
That's so nice to hear, thank you I've struggled so much with the no-more-children thing, but this last year have really come to terms with it. I'm still sad my family didn't turn out as I'd hoped and I would love for my daughter to have had a sibling. I might get a break from the constant make-believe for one thing! 
But nowadays I am able to enjoy the many positives of having an only child and lots of my friends with multiple children are envious of the conversations and closeness I have with my daughter. I can imagine that my daughter and I will always be super close because we're able to have a very open relationship, we talk about everything when we're snuggled up at bedtime. She always has so many questions! 😂 I think the situation became easier for me when she reached an age where a new baby sibling wouldn't necessarily be a positive addition to her home life/childhood and I could give up looking for ways round the problem. (We'd looked into surrogacy, adoption, risking another pregnancy...) I wish I could have accepted it sooner, but I'm glad I've accepted it now.
I'm always surprised how little "coverage" this issue gets. There must be so many families going through similar. It's really lovely to hear from someone who has been there and done it and come out the other side, happy with their family. I never imagine I'll be around long enough to be a granny, but I guess maybe I will. It would be so good! Definitely a long wait for me though 😂
Thank you so much for sharing your family story, it's given me a very happy start to my Saturday xxxx
Aww... I so hear what you are saying... and it wasn't until my son was around 7 before I accepted it. I too had looked into adoption and even thought about getting pregnant.
I also get the having to do all the make believe. I once got stuck up a tree playing Gandalf from Lord of the rings! My son had to stop some dog walkers and say "can you help me my mummy is stuck up a tree!"
It was also lovely too for us to have sleep overs for his friends, with only one child I tended to have a house full of children.. as he got a little older.
And yes we too are now very close and I feel very blessed he will of course always be my son.... But he is also now my great friend. Last night for example we went out for dinner together. 😀
And Laura when I was diagnosed 22 years ago ( technology was very different for heart patients then) and I was told to go home and enjoy my son as they could not guarantee my being around for his second birthday! I decided to fight this... keep healthy and be there till he was 18.
And yet he is now 23 and here we are... and I plan to stick around for those grand kids too 😁
Enjoy your lovely daughter and happy weekend xx
Love the story of you stuck up the tree! 😁
You've done so well to get to where you are. I'm always so aware of how lucky we are with all the modern research and treatment developments, must have been even scarier 20+ years ago. My heart took a turn for the worse just before my daughter's first birthday and I was terrified I wouldn't be there for her much longer, I used to spend ages planning how I could be there for her in some way after I was gone - writing letters for the future her, writing a novel for each tricky stage of her life, recruiting friends for specific roles... Needless to say, with a one-year-old in tow, none of these came to fruition! Ha! But now I do feel, touch wood, that I'll be around for the long haul, or the longish haul anyway. Wanting to see her grow up and see her adult life is a good motivation for doing my best to stay healthy too.
Have a great weekend xx
Fantastic inspiration ladies you should both be very proud of yourselves
This is a great thread.
Hopefully it will provide inspiration and positivity to others in the future.
For me, I'm taking a serious look at my career and working future, and at the stage where I'm sat down with pen and paper, mapping out what I want to now do, looking at the skills, knowledge and experience I have....and marrying them together to plan out a new journey, and start doing things I should have done years ago...and hopefully help others along the way.
Yes it is thanks for starting it
I have had a series of complications since my mitral valve replacement - probably caused by over-sensitivity to drugs. My husband had a similar op, but without the complications. We have a family business run from home, which our daughter has taken over, while visiting parents in hospital on and off for much of a year. Now we are both keen to support her in return - the business is my third baby, so I want it to keep going for my own sake as well as hers!.
We have to steer a balancing act between our own health and supporting her. Our bucket list therefore consists mainly of this support.
A good friend of ours was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and went into hospital at the same time as me. He never made it out. Now whenever I feel depressed at my state I remember him, and thank my lucky stars, rather than cursing them!
This is a great thread. Thanks for posting it. The stories here are inspiring. Like many people I was pretty fit and healthy until I was 58 when I had problems with my left eye and then endocarditis which led to a mitral valve replacement last May. I decide to retire and was lucky enough to be able to do it at a time of my choosing at the end of August this year. Apart from looking for a good volunteering activity and being a Grandad two days a week my wife and I came up with our 'not a bucket list' - what we call our 60 at 60 list. 60 things that we agreed that we wanted to do after we were 60. Some are expensive and ambitious e.g. visiting Canada but others are much more achievable e.g. Building a sandcastle with our grandson or visiting a local beauty spot. We keep a photographic record and will make a photo book when we have done 30 and then when we've done them all. The key thing is you identify the activities that really matter and you can keep looking forward and making progress.
Nicholas
Just wanted to bump this post up a little, in order to give our newer members a chance to add their bit.
Admin, I wonder if we can make this a pinned post so its easily available?
End of Life Care
Atrial fibrillation effects on life.
Hearing In Later Life!
Annual Review after Bypass
