I'm new here........

[Smed]

I am reaching out to the community as it feels that I have no where else to turn. I had a heart attack in April 2013, ad had angioplasty and a stent. I was devastated, my whole life has revolved around hearts having both and mother and father who have both had serious heart problems. My dad died quite young (68) 21 years after his first heart attack. His life changed dramatically during this time. His quality of life being fairly poor. So it took me a really long time after my heart attack to believe my life wasn't over. Just as I seemed to be getting my head together, I had another cardiac event, resulting in me requiring a further stent. Yet again I am devastated, I am so sad, cant talk about it without crying, in fact I cant remember the last day I didn't cry. I have tried to get support from all sorts of places but to no avail. I couldn't cope with cardiac rehab as it was full of people much much older than me. Unfortunately the cardiac nurses are too buy to offer any psychological support. I feel a burden to my friends and family and don't want them to know how badly I'm struggling, everyone is too busy with their own stuff. I cant cope with the never knowing what and when it will happen again, the waiting is harder than anything else. I cant be bothered with it all, there feels little or no point in planning anything as I never know what may happen next.

[skid112 Heart Star]

Hello Smed, you're not alone. The feelings of doom are perfectly normal as anyone of the contributors on here will tell you.

But, the treatment and meds have come on enormously these past years and you have the opportunity for a long fruitful life still. I'm 57 last November I had a heart attack and quad bypass, felt it was a delayed death sentence I went to rehab, full of older people completed my course and decided I wanted to live. Now I walk an average of six miles a day everyday. I aim to walk Hadrians wall for the BHF in 6 days, 82 miles. Its not easy the recovery for most is slow, slow doesn't mean you don't recover because you will. Sitting in a chair and waiting for death is a no no. You've got another chance, unburden your self here or too your family, you're one of a limited edition and we're hereto help

[legoman58]

Dear Smed, I know it takes some getting used to, but you will get used to it. It just takes time. I have had 2 heart attacks and have 11 stents. My Father also died of heart related issues. You have been through a difficult process. You are asking yourself difficult questions about your own mortality. You are frightened. Simple as that. Something that I am sure most people on his forum have had to admit at some stage. But it fades trust me. Just do what they tell you to do, ie, no smoking, moderate drinking, healthy low fat diet, try and avoid stress and exercise. It works it really does. Hang in there.

[Marc68]

Hi Smed, I echo what both Skid and Legoman have said, they both know exactly what they're talking about.

It's hard to come to terms with but there is life after a heart attack, and it's worth living to the full. Heart problems make us all think about our own mortality but you'll come to realise that your mortality is the thing that makes it even more important to fill your life with things that make you happy. Despite my other post about GP's, you should perhaps talk to yours and ask for a referral to a psychologist. That's a positive step, despite what it might feel like in the short term.

Failing that, feel free to vent on here or ask for advice.. it's sometimes helpful to just blurt it all out and get it out of your system.

[Smikra]

I had serious depression after my quad bypass, but a few weeks of the right meds fixed me up. Please ask your GP. You have more time on this beautiful earth. How wonderful.

[Prada47]

Hi Smed

I had a heart attack in 1982 yep 1982 and I am still here, after having a very full and active life. I have worked all over the world in deserts and offshore 200 miles from the nearest medical help !! 34 years after my heart attack it was found I needed by pass surgery. So hey ho open up the chest and fix the problem, unfortunately only 2/3 of the problem could be fixed, So here I am at almost 70 on the waiting list for a further intervention this time using stents to open a coronary artery which was blocked in 1982, only back then they didn't have the technology to open arteries.

Just to say life goes on ( my father died aged 68 ) of heart problems so like you I have lived with the problem of hearts.

Personally we have decided to move to a bungalow 600 miles from where we live now, to be closer to our son and grandchildren, so that may help you to understand that life carries on They say moving house is one of the most stressful experiences of life, but if you look forward to it, it is an exciting time. Life is what you are willing to make of it, it's not easy but please try to be positive the alternative drags you down and it makes life a struggle.

Take Care

Frank W

[Hidden]

Hello there - I'm so sorry that you've had such a difficult recovery from your heart problems, and it's not surprising it's had such a big impact on your mental health too. It's something people don't talk about enough, so it's great that you're reaching out for some support.

If you haven't already, you can ask your GP to refer you for counselling. This can be really helpful in supporting you during your recovery, as it's not just all about your physical health. You might also find it helpful to have a look at our booklet on heart disease and emotional health: bhf.org.uk/publications/liv...

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Chris

[Smed]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words, I am taking lots of steps to try and get some help, its such a pity that heart services are so concentrated on physical health and forget people mental wellbeing. Its strange don't you think when cancer care has so much focus on supporting some ones wellbeing.

I cant believe what a brilliant responds I have had, this is continuing to push me to find some support in my local area. Sadly my GP couldn't offer me anything other than a wellbeing service which focuses on support groups and mindfulness, which I really don't think is going t help at this point.

I have resigned myself to having to pay for the right support so am waiting to here back fro a psychotherapist who has expertise in working with people around ill health, so fingers crossed

[skid112 Heart Star in reply to Smed]

Hello Smed, nice to hear from you again, you're not alone we've all in one way or another felt this way. Happy to help and happy to share.

[woodbon]

It's a sad fact but psychotherapy is, in the main, only available if you pay for it, but it is certainly worth trying and may well be the answer for you!