Did you need to chat with your Doctor...

[chloe40]

And receive medication to help you through your grief?

Many of us have had particularly difficult periods during grief, and needed extra help, it may have been to aid sleep, to help with anxiety or something else.

How did you manage?

Chloe <3

[kenster1 Volunteer]

my doctor diagnosed me with clinical depression after my son died but when my mum died it was about the same time I needed to re apply for ESA and another doctor asked me what was wrong told him I`d been on ESA since my son died his exact words were was I still using that excuse not to work.

[Caza in reply to kenster1]

That’s awful Kenny. When my daughter died my hair fell out in handfuls. I went to see my gp. He said it would be the shock & he then looked at me & said ‘don’t you think you should be over it by now’ It was only two months after she’d died. I just looked at him & then he said ‘what do your friends say? Don’t they think you should be over it’

I said ‘ none of my friends have ever had their child die. Have you. No I thought not. Then you are not in a position to lecture me on how I should feel’ I stormed out. He did write to me & apologised, said he’d handled it badly & would I go back & see him. No chance.

We moved house a year later & unbeknown to me the same gp lived in the street 😱. We were quitely polite. Never spoke just a nod.

Yes, I did see another gp eventually & got antidepressants. Took them for two years. They helped take the edge off things.

[Caza in reply to Caza]

Should of said & yes my hair grew back thank goodness 😅

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

My goodness Caza

What is it with these medics, I can't believe what I'm reading here!

Of all people, you would expect them to understand, even if they hadn't been through the trauma of losing a child.

One thing Caza, the fact that he contacted you means you made him realise what he'd done, and I hope you saved others from being treated in the same way.

<3

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

Yes I hope so Chloe. He probably did take a minute to think about his own children & what it would feel like. I feel pretty sure a lesson was learnt

[Hidden in reply to Caza]

Hello caza that is awful, some doctors are diabolical I saw one who was really fat I was worried about my cholesterol he said cheese is good carry on eating it really helps was so big so unhealthy to be a doctor like that too, another refused me a blood test said your results are fine I said my family history tho and the test was a year ago it turned out I had one liver count high and had to monitored, it's not natural to loose a child our minds aren't equipped so to speak to deal with it like a elderly parent which is bad enough, you should have reported him, I'm so sorry you have to live with this loss my mam described grief as hard work 🤗💛🌻

[Turnipgirl in reply to Hidden]

Its so infuriating isn't it when those who are paid to help and support us don't and make things worse!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

Oh my goodness Kenny kenster1

That is diabolical! I'm so sorry that awful person said such a thing to you.

I imagine you were too distressed to make a complaint but....

<3

[Bingofox007]

It amazes me, or probably shocks and even disgusts me, when people imply you should be ‘over that by now’. No one can judge your loss and the grief you feel, for how long you feel it and at what intensity. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child, losing my husband was bad enough but a child, I can’t imagine living. There are so many people who judge tho but thank goodness there are those who understand but being a ‘tick box exercise’ and dismissed when you’re grieving is unforgivable. Take care 🦊xx

[Caza in reply to Bingofox007]

Before my daughter died I would’ve said that if I were to lose anyone of my children I would die with them.

I think you have three choices 1/suicide 2/ long suicide by self neglect 3/ live for others in the hope that one day you’ll be living for yourself. Believe me the first was so tempting the second I tried for awhile but saw what it was doing to my remaining children & my family so eventually I chose the third. Not easy but I got there

[Bingofox007 in reply to Caza]

Bless ya. So strong. Such a great example to look up to and I admire you. Take care 🦊xx