The nights are the worst: I find the... - Bereavement Care ...

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The nights are the worst

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
20 Replies

I find the moment I get into bed my thoughts turn to my loved one.

Does this happen to you and how do you manage this?

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chloe40 profile image
chloe40
Administrator
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20 Replies
kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

I`m the exact same I lay in bed looking at the chink of light from outside and just think half the night.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply tokenster1

horrible isn’t it Kenny, I’m trying meditation from now on.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer in reply tochloe40

in my old house I saw night turn to daytime quite a lot just reflecting on my losses at that time. yeah meditation hopefully will help Chloe sometime I have to snap out of thoughts as they regress into darkness it`s never easy.

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl

Yes I have been there myself and I find problems always feel worse in the night when there's nothing else there to take my mind off them!

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Absolutely !

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl in reply tochloe40

Yesterday I was stressing about money and jobs as I felt guilty for having treated myself to Sunday lunch out at the pub which we hadn't done for a while.

What I did was shoved the worry out of my mind telling myself how there's no point worrying unless there really is something to worry about not about what may or may not happen in the future!

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toTurnipgirl

Very true!

Sandradsn profile image
Sandradsn

I can be wide awake in the night and I start to think about loved ones I've lost.I can span 50+ years in memories. I think about one thing and before I know it I'm back to my childhood ,on holiday with my parents or in my childhood home.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toSandradsn

Oh dear Sandradsn

That's a very long way back!

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toSandradsn

Happens to me a lot. Think about loved one's lost & there I go back to my old childhood home when things were brighter, actually, but that makes me sad as it's All gone now!

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toWeatherwoman

Yes Weatherwoman

The problem with memories is they may be happy at some point but the sad ones soon poke their heads through and dominate thoughts, I'm going to give Caza idea a try.

<3

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply tochloe40

Thanks!

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl

I have found the Sleep Cove podcast very good myself and use that regularly.

How are you and Prince Pixie getting on?

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl

Baby is great and has settled in well to her new home but has driven us all mad with meows about the heat!

If the other board upsets you just switch off and walk away and do something nice for yourself instead.

It's cooler here today as well thankfully and I have had a busy morning with job hunting and future learn and it's swimming this afternoon.

I really enjoyed my weekend especially yesterday with Sunday lunch out at a pub called the Fox and Hounds which is really nice.

Years ago I used to work near there so I knew the Fox and Hounds from those days and it hasn't changed very much!

At the place I worked all those years ago they stopped our Friday pub lunch and a colleague had cried and I had suggested putting the pub lunch to after work as after work hours there's nothing they can do about it!

That company shut down back in 2010 and thankfully I had left long before that happened!

Tomorrow and Wednesday I have interviews which is a step in the right direction!

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Great idea Twink

thank you!<3

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl in reply tochloe40

Another thing I enjoy doing is listening or reading stories at bedtime as they help me to relax as well!

Caza profile image
Caza

I haven’t had a proper nights sleep since my daughter died. Even if I take a pill I still stay awake half the night. Like Kenny I have to stop my thoughts or else they head towards darkness & then there’s no turning back. I’ve tried every trick in the book the only thing that works for me is to have a double barrelled word like a mantra & say it in my head over & over again. It took a lot of practice but it works for me. You can’t think about other things whilst repeating the word. Give it a go

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toCaza

Oh dear, sorry to read that Caza

The problem is it soon becomes a habit, but I will definitely give your idea a try. <3

Greyone profile image
Greyone

I actually relish thinking about my loved ones at night. I think that because I feel creative i like ti think of ways to remember them such as verses, slideshows. i've started to work on a few more simple verses and night time is one when i have the time.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

That’s really interesting Greyone

It’s good to know you’ve turned it around to your advantage.

Hopefully we’ll get to read them.

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