Grief quiz

[chloe40]

Good Morning everyone,

Just to let you know I will be posting a short quiz later today,

if you can spare the time, do drop in and reply to each question separately.

Chloe<3

[Hidden]

I have a question. I'm dealing with multiple griefs, one right on top of the other. I get them muddled together. I'm grieving my mom. She was a good woman. But I'm also grieving someone whom I thought was my main support (until she turned on me and, among other things, told me so what my mom died and mocked me for grieving). This person is a bad woman. Despite knowing this distinguishing trait, though, the two women had become fused in my brain (I couldn't think of one without the other). The fuse is almost completely separated, but not quite there yet. There wouldn't even be an issue with needing to separate them if this woman hadn't made it so believable that she cared for me and my family (last year was a horrible one riddled with terrifying conclusions -- the biggest one being that this person had used my grief for her own underhanded agenda). I'm getting help for this from my church and trauma therapist (taking a breather from the latter since it got overwhelming). I guess my question is how to separate what should be my main grief (the loss of my mom) and the loss of my main support-turned-covert narcissist? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. It's an extremely complex and serious situation, so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't have any suggestions. Thanks for listening.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Hi @Norw

I'm truly sorry you've been through such a difficult and distressing time, it must have been very confusing.

You are grieving 2 separate losses and personally, I would try to resume your bereavement therapy to solve this, although I completely understand how therapy can be overwhelming.

Let's see what others say <3

Chloe

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

I wanted to add @Norw

I was shocked that 'your main support' could say such hurtful things to you when you're

grieving. In my opinion, you were in a vulnerable state when she took advantage of you and your family, that's horrifying.

I see this as you grieving for your dear Mom;

and suffering shock and anger at the treatment you received from 'the support', but you are still grieving someone you thought was a close genuine friend.

Accept as much support as offered {{{hugs}}}

Chloe <3

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

This is why my trauma therapist announced in October that it sounds like I had run into a narcissist. I left that session feeling like I had been punched in the stomach.

I should stop talking about this now. This is what your announcement of a quiz triggered (through no fault of your own, so please don't take it as such). I was thinking about how to clarify my question and I think I found it:

What grief should I focus on for the quiz?