Down days...

[frisky]

I had a really good week last week, was bliss, I remembered how nice it was go be half human again.

Then Saturday, slump exhausted dizzy can't see straight, joints ok! (one positive!!!) skin awful, head aches, ulcers all bubbling under serface... DEPRESSION!!

Whenever I get back my normal state of behcets.ie active after a brief stint of feeling brighter I always have this awful depression, a grief for the loss of my old self assertive, spontaneous fun and lively. I known it will pass and I'll get used to my restricted life again and see the good things. But these couple of days after a brief semi remission, are so dark, as I'm given that glance of who I was, to be reminded of where I am now.

Moan over. I needed to get it out, the fact I morn for the old me. I'm sad, and babberling.

It's impossible to explain to friends and partners about this feeling as they have no concept.

Right sorry moan over......x

[bailey23]

You moan away Frisky. I completely understand. I have had a weekend of severe headaches and aching and feel very down! I keep it to myself (apart from on here) and put a smile on my face but really want to scream WHY ME?

Keep your chin up and sending a big hug!

Angela

[devonshiredumpling]

Hugs my darling. It's horrid isn't it? I'm sure everyone of us understands how you feel. You moan away my lovely xxxxx

[joannebond360]

I feel exactly the same as you! Big hugs xxxxxx

[goodlife]

must be in the air...or is it becuase its harder work to put a brave face on at the weekend...all that time with our family, lovely tphough it is, I find it exhausting. Come Monday morning I feel like I'm running on empty today. I also feel like a fat bloater as I seem absolutely unable to tone back up. I have turned very blubberous since becoming ill and it's seeriously damaging my self esteem....

Yeah Frisky think we know what you mean.

Hugs to all this Monday Jill xx

[frisky]

Thanks so much guys....

Yep maybe it's the weather! I too feel like a huge blob! I've put on a stone in 6months nothing fits, haven't got energy to shop! Steroids make me hairy so feel fat and hairy!!! It's silly but it gets me down......

Right that's it no more moaning I promise!!!! X

[lizzykarma]

goodlife i can totally relate, may i was a natural size 8 didnt have to work at it, now im a 12/14 my tummy goes up n down between those two sizes daily if not by the minute, its madness. iv never bin so big ever! and its really damaging my self esteem, i keep wanting to hide away from my partner and kp myself covered, my self esteem has taken a nose dive.

not to mention iv gone from being overactive running past myself to needing a nap after washing my hair, walking with a stick around the house, and a wheelchair or scooter for long journeys. im 27 should be in my sexual prime lol!

i think we all have periods of depression frisky! i think its only natural tbh. your allowed to moan and rant its wat the forum/blog board is here for so we can release it all off our chests and converse with those who can relate.

the steroids r abs vile and make me fl the same way hun.

thinking of u loads, hope u fl a little brighter soon, iv had a positive day today emotion wise... felt a bit brighter unfortunately my joints/body disagrees lol!

xx

[goodlife]

Interesting that we are all feeling fat bloaters today...I think there are lots of issues all going on with this BD.

-Pain

-Loss of independance

-Isolation

-Lack of "condition" due to pain and immobility

-Weight gain

-Drugs and side effects

Equals Loss of self esteem

its late and I'm tired but I think we should talk about self esteem in a new thread tomorrow.

Jill

[SuenMike]

That is why the blog exists. You have as many moans as you like! We all mourn for the old healthier us we used to be before this horrid condition took over our lives.

I hope you feel better soon. Lots of hugs

Suzanne x

[frisky]

Well after a couple of days in morning for the old me, my fights coming back, all be it while in bed with a book and my blackberry PlayBook......

I won't let behcets take my humour or sprit!!!!!! So a big b@ll@ks to behcets!!!!!!!

I want a b@ll@cks the behcets take shirt made up, for days like this!!!

Thanks for support, sending hugs xxxxx

[ruthbalbirnie]

Wow everyone, it never ceases to amaze and help me to know that I am not alone, WE ARE NOT ALONE. and that is priceless.....I have decided that Monday is my day in bed well it is the day that I have decided to stay in bed put it that way! other days in bed are forced, At the weekends I have kids home from school and one home from college and I hate to let them know just how bad I am so I try to to everything and that just kills me...but it is my illness and not theirs, they do not need to know or see just how bad their mum is it would not be fair on them, but it takes its toll on me..

We all need to vent and you are right, husbands, kids, friends and family, try as they might, they don't understand and how could they.

Hope the rest of the week improves for all xx