Just Help..anyone....

I recently found out I have herpes type 2. I also have HPV and slightly abnormal cells in my cervix....all because I had sex with 2 people i thought i could trust because they told me they were clean(one in nov 2017 and other very recently). Im really seriously thinking about killing myself. I dont have any true friends and i cant talk to my mum because we dont talk about sex or anything relating to it.

[Hidden]

Nov 2016*

[Durban007 in reply to Hidden]

Hello. I don’t know where you from, how old you are and if you have brothers or sisters, I would love for you to contact me because, like you I don’t trust anyone , maybe we could talk to wash other.

[Kt_5991]

There are ways around it and life is still worth living even though you may feel so down right now. I have herpes too and have had it for a year and a half now and it took me ages to over come the fact of it. They will offer you medication which helps keep the breakouts away, I’ve been on it for about a year and now on my break to see if the outbreaks are better. First outbreak is always the worst, remember that. It’s mentally draining, I know, I’ve been down about it too, but it doesn’t stop you from having a normal Healthy life, I was worried about not finding anyone but my current boyfriend who I had to tell, was fine about it. It’s more common than you think so don’t think any drastic thoughts, you will get over this x

[Hidden in reply to Kt_5991]

Thanks. I really do appreciate. I feel like I've had to distance myself from any potential partners because I cant imagine telling a man about herpes and Hpv. The GUM clinic I went to didnt offer me medication, should I go back and ask for it? They only said to go back if I have another outbreak x

[Kt_5991 in reply to Hidden]

You’ll be surprised how many people have it! Cold sores are more common than genital herpes but if you do get to the point of meeting someone, it’s always a good fact to state that a large percentage of people I think about 70% have hsv1 which is the cold sore and about 10% have genital. If you avoid sex during a break out it’s a 4% transmission rate to a female to a male. If you have sex with a condom or the medication it’s a 2% transmission rate to female to male and if you have sex with a condom and the medication it’s only a 1% transmission rate. Male rates are higher to pass on to females than females passing on to males. State the facts to partners and I’m sure they won’t be that shocked or disgusted at all! X

[Hidden in reply to Kt_5991]

Tbh i think im celibate till I meet someone who will accept me with this disease (which i already doubt will happen). Im trying to educate myself about herpes type 2 everyday. I really do appreciate your reply x

[Kt_5991]

Also wait until you have an outbreak to go back, they’ll either give you a weeks worth or if you have regular outbreaks they’ll put you on suppression course where you take 2 tablets a day for 3-12 months or more, I’ve just come off them for just over a year x

[saj01]

Hi... I'm not surprised you feel the way you do given what's happened. I'm very concerned that you say you want to kill yourself... do you really? and I'm being serious, because if you do, then you need to seek professional help.

With HPV some people don't even know they've got it - or they might have had a genital wart and had it treated, not aware they now carry the virus, or think that once the blisters go, they are safe... wrong! cells can be shed for up to 7 days. Likewise herpes, there are carriers... some people only ever get 1 outbreak... I think it would help you to find out a lot more about them... a good site is hva.org.uk that's all about herpes.

As far as abnormal cells are concerned, I too had that in my 30's, had a conal biopsy and d&c , , and they've never shown up since.

But I appreciate with hpv, that can increase the risk. None of us know what life is going to throw at us, all we can do is keep ourselves as healthy as possible.

I've lost potential partners because I've told them about herpes.. which just goes to show what they were made of.. they were probably going to walk away in the end.

.. it's not the end of your world... it's just going to change a bit. But get that help.

You take care x

[Hidden in reply to saj01]

Thankyou..I cry everyday thinking about how I let myself get infected. I really do think about ending my life but I havent acted on it. I talk to an online friend but he just thinks im depressed (I've not told him about the herpes or HPV).

I was dealing with HPV before the herpes because I was told the body clears it within 2 years but when I found out I have herpes too I just gave up.

I dont know if im going to learn to live with it because I found out about under a month ago now. The nurse did tell me that I was being too hard on myself when I was called back to the GUM clinic..i just wish I wasnt so trusting. I do appreciate the info youve given me and I think maybe I do need counselling. X

[saj01]

Hi.. sharp intake of breathe before I started typing... where to begin.

Why I'm concerned about you is I've had depression.. not because of having herpes.. but I did. I suggested the website because the people who set it up are all sufferers.. I don't know if you are in the uk or elsewhere.. but please read it.I may help you to sort your head out a bit. I know you feel that the bottom had dropped out of your world... that you can't see your way forward.... becuase your mind is in turmoil.

No.1 Stop blaming yourself... that's not going to change anything except make you feel worse..

When you get yourself in an emotion state... that's just the ideal conditions the virus likes... .. I used to get it every month!!!! I've tried aciclovir, it can lessen the severity of the outbreak, but it doesn't stop it. Although some people take continuously as a suppressant.

You could try taking lysine which is an amino acid . I take it in powdered form. There is another amino acid argine... both of these are found in food. but arginine actually promotes it. Nuts are high in argine.. I love nuts!!!

I've changed my diet quite a bit, I eat lots of veg, fruit and fish, a little meat... and keep off empty carbs.. that's the nice thing, like cakes, biscuits , ice cream. I feel so much better than I used to.

You say you're crying all the time.. how are you sleeping... how do you feel first thing in the morning... do you feel a bit better as the day goes on. You may need some kind of help with this. To be honest, I'm a bit biased as I'm not keen on Gp's for dealing with mental health issues...for a start they are not experts and they often prescribed ssri's , mainly because you can't kill yourself on them... but they aren't for everyone. But perhaps seeing your gp you could get referred for counselling... mindfulness is a good technique.

If you can make yourself do it... try to get some exercise... again it makes you feel better.

Even just breathing techniques can help to calm things down.. maybe a bit of yoga.. if you've not done it before, there's books for beginners..or maybe go to classes. Even swimming can help... all these things help to take your mind off things..

And when you walk down the street, don't look down ( like a victim, with hands in pockets and hunched shoulders.)... hold your head up high, shoulders back and walk along with purpose... it does stop you feeling down.... try it and see.

But promise me this, if you get to the stage where you really can't cope and do think about 'ending it all'... pick up the phone and ring the Samaritans... if you are not in the uk.. I think they are called Befrienders Worldwide.,,, they are non-judgemental, they listen ... besides, how would your family feel if they lost you.

Okay, chin-up, best foot forward, tomorrow's another day. you're tougher than you think!

And when those blackbirds start singing tomorrow... smile.

Let me know what you think about the website. You take care of yourself.

[Hidden in reply to saj01]

Thankyou so much, you have helped me so much and I really do appreciate. I read about lysine not so long ago. Will definitely get it now. I live in the UK. I used to go to the gym but I strained my foot (which is taking ages to heal). I'm tired of constantly being in a low mood so I will have to do something about it (to get happy again). I sleep probably too much these days which im trying to change

[saj01]

Hi... you are sounding a bit more positive.. that's good. I bought my lysine powder from Health Leads uk. I think it's about 8.99 for a big 500gm pot.There's no additives or fillers and binders which are in most tablets.. Injuries to feet/ankles do take ages , have you though about having physio on it, you could get a referral from your gp.. but depending whats wrong with it? perhaps some ankle/ foot strengthening exercises would help.

I did my shoulder in last august, torn rotor cuff... and it's only recently I've got almost full movement back... it was so painful... I can't left heavy weights now.so my toned arms... are no longer. Such is life.

How's the weepiness? Any change there? This is just an idea, , bear with me on this one, when someone feels positive , accomplishing small tasks , remembering achievements can have a 'serotonin effect' Remember that feel good feeling after a good work out at the gym. If you can't manage with your ankle, what about swimming... it's good exercise, there's no load on the joints... Every day set yourself some 'small' goals, they've got to be achievable ones to start with otherwise you'll get daunted by the prospect. Find something you used to enjoy doing, like having a laugh with friends... okay so maybe they're not the greatest, but it will make change. It's all about taking baby steps. Some days, you'll feel your going backwards, and those negative thoughts will pop in to your head.. that's the time to use distraction techniques.... do something, even if it's cleaning the kitchen worktop! Put the radio on, or play some music that's happy and upbeat... stay away sad films and songs...

if you find things don't improve.. then do have a chat with your gp... about counselling.You take care, tomorrow's another day..

[Kt_5991 in reply to saj01]

You’re so good with advice, thank you!

[saj01 in reply to Kt_5991]

You're welcome. It will depend on how low the mood is... but we are here and we can listen... it's good to talk things through

[Hidden in reply to saj01]

Yes you are really good with advice....just reading it made it me more positive..thankyou both.

I have read info on hva.org.uk....been really helpful. With my foot....well I was told to give it time (up to 8 weeks) and the doctor didnt think i needed physio then so im just on ibuprofen. With the crying...well I cried a bit last night but I think its just frustration now tbh...again thankyou so much for taking time to help. Youve got just a positive outlook on life (with your shoulder etc)...I admire that

[saj01]

Oh bless you... I'm glad it's helped. I think I touched on the fact that I too had depression.. well it was a bit more serious than that. Ended up having to go into a unit for a couple of months, but I got through it and promised myself I wouldn't let myself get that way again. So what did I learn... well. apart from how important it is to get enough sleep, eat properly, exercise, do everything in moderation.

The biggest lesson was .. Don't sweat the small stuff.

I used to get my knickers in a twist over the most stupid things, take things to heart... chew over problems and disappointments in my head, time and time again, but now I say... does it really matter and often the answer is No. When I think about how some other people bounce back after facing the most terrible things... I think... I don't know if I could do that?

But we all have choices, we can choose to let the problems overwhelm us or we can say.. okay... this is going to be tough, but I'm not going to let it get me down, I'm not going to be beaten... I am going to get through this.

The choice is.... do you want to be a victim or do you want to be a survivor?

I think you know the answer to that one.

You take care x

[Hidden in reply to saj01]

Thankyou for sharing your story. I can now understand how you are so positive.

I definitely want to be a survivor and will act like and be one.

You take care too...it feels weird sharing something so personal but also very freeing.

Thank you x

[saj01]

You're welcome. Have a good day x

[Blonde111]

Please contact me, there is always light at the end of the tunnel x

[saj01]

HI... Just thought I'd catch up with you to see how things were going. Do hope things are getting better and I hope you managed to find a numbing ointment okay.. Just to say I've been doing some more reading about various ointments and found lysine is available in ointment form in various strrengths. I also read that propolis .. bee pollen is quite effective... had to do more reading about that and looking at various products.

I spotted a pure bee pollen/bees wax ointment, so I've ordered it to try it out. Why.. you might well ask... well, after a few months of i had a mother of an outbreak on my butt cheek, just across from the tail bone. Sorry forgot to tell you that his very clever little virus hangs about in the nerves at the base of the spine and likes to travel.... well, within a certain radius... as soon as i noticed that dreaded tingly, itchy sensation... I upped the lysine, , but it still broke through.. I'll keep you posted on how effective it is, at the moment I'm just using aloe vera gel.

your take care . bye for now