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Hard to keep erection. help me because it is getting in my head

Hi there,

I have recently started dating a nice girl after long time being single. Everything is brilliant, she is pretty smart and etc. she turn me on a lot, every time i kiss her i get a hard on.

Have no problems keeping normal erection until she starts taking her clothes off. As soon as i start thinking about sex with girl, i get scared a bit because i do not feel confident with myself and when all hard erection disappears. It has been third time it happened to me, last time it was better because i tried to control my mind that everything is ok. I think it is a result that been single long time and had no sexual intercourse for a while or it could be because of my ex girlfriend. She used to tell me that it is not enough sex for her and etc. could not please her as she wanted (I think she wanted too much), but it is too late now it is in my head and this freaks me out.

I spoke to this about it, it seems she understood it, but for me it is not enough and i need to fix it.

Please could someone share any ideas how to get over it

4 Replies

first,relax ur hearth dont negative thinking it will be stop ur emotion,may see vdo x for stimulate ur body and ur mood as well.


Thank you that was helpful, i will look into this.


I am glad u took the first step and tell your girlfriend your sensitive issue. that said, is how is it you are to be a grown man having to complete grown men tasks if the ghosts of your past haunt and control U?

sex is what it is, either u are a participant or become a spectator. get involved in your sexual expression.

u do not need a therapist, your girl already knows u have this issue, so delve into it together, do sensate focused exercises, rent dr ruth videos, play, fantasize, whatever. but do not stay stuck on what some _____ said about your performance. it is up to U to perform, and NO ONE is allowed in your sexuality except YOUR MATE!


Well firstly if she's a decent girl she will take heart that you haven't been "sleeping around" in the past.

The fact that you get an erection just by kissing suggests there's nothing physically wrong so why not suggest to your girl that you have sex but agree in advance there will be no penetration?

That will take the pressure off you as it sounds as if your last girl damaged your confidence. Use you mouth fingers or a sex toy to give this girl pleasure. And both accept that you may not get hard.

I suspect that after a few times of this you will find your erection will be back to normal but if it isn't best see your GP. There are ways of keeping that kissing erection such as a cock ring or sildanefil, but don't try these without speaking to your doctor first


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