Herpes

[Rmb1670]

Just found out I have herpes..

So depressed at the moment!!

Don't know how to react/accept it!!

Anyone feel the same?

[xturner]

I have it but I always forget I've got it until someone mentions it! 7 out of 10 people have it in some form, it's so stupidly common. It's more common than diabetes and cancer.

It's not a proper STI, it's only considered one because of how it can be transmitted (through sex) and because it can appear on your genitals. Apart from (usually) the type of herpes it's exactly the same as a cold sore around your mouth or a whitlow on your finger. If someone had a whitlow and touched you somewhere where you'd cut yourself you could get herpes in that area.

I can't stress how much this isn't a big deal. I just view it like thrush, it's just annoying and inconvenient but there's absolutely no health risks and it goes away after a week or so. My doctor gave me medicine for chicken pox and shingles (also types of herpes) when I was first diagnosed, it didn't even mention it was used to treat herpes, which to me showed me how little a deal it was.

With regard to telling people be honest, but make sure you have the facts to hand so you can reassure them. herpes.org.uk is an amazing website to visit for reassurance and to give you all the facts about it and helping you with ways to bring it up with people. Also remember that you can't always pass it on, only right before, during or right after an outbreak. The rest of the time it's like you don't even have it.

If people you tell aren't ok with it then they're idiots and not worth your time as far as I'm concerned, as long as you've given them the facts and things. When I was first diagnosed I was mortified and basically thought I'd be alone for the rest of my life. But after reading the website above I realised that was a load of crap and it was literally the most pointless thing to worry about. My doctor told me not even to bother coming back for more medicine if I had another outbreak as it would have disappeared before I'd managed to get to her anyway.

Please please please don't let this worry you. It's so not a big deal it's ridiculous. I wouldn't have sex with someone if I get thrush - I wouldn't have sex with someone if I have a herpes outbreak. It's exactly the same to all intents and purposes in that it doesn't do anything health-wise, it's just a bit annoying.

And I'd much rather have it down below than on my mouth where people can see it!!!

[Rmb1670 in reply to xturner]

Thanks for replying!!

And for the website!!! Very appreciated!!

I just need to get out of this rut!!

All I do is read as much info as I can in my spare time!!

Hopefully I will feel the same as you..

😊

[xturner in reply to Rmb1670]

No worries it takes some time, but it will come. There's really nothing to worry about there's so much stigma surrounding it which just comes from misunderstanding. No one kicks up a fuss about cold sores but they're exactly the same thing. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for this. Likelihood is they have it too without even knowing!

[notabigdeal in reply to xturner]

This message is so positive. I've just been diagnosed and I'm trying to get my head around it. I don't want and won't allow this to affect my life or define me!

[xturner in reply to notabigdeal]

I'm glad you feel that way. It shouldn't define you. Everyone gets the flu at some point but you don't let that define you, it's the same with this. There needs to be more awareness about herpes I feel, it's so stigmatised. Even in things like films, it's laughed at, but I think that's horrible because it makes those of us who have it feel down about ourselves when we have no need to. Try and forget about it while it's not there. Also stress can bring it on so worrying about it will quite literally have the opposite effect of helping!

[xturner]

You shouldn't limit yourself to those sites. You've done exactly the right thing by getting to know them first and then telling them before you start anything with them. They aren't worth your time if they're going to judge you for it. If you just got cold sores you wouldn't feel the need to sit them down and have a talk about it would you? This shouldn't be any different but unforunately because of the stigma around it it is viewed differently. You will find someone to accept you. I've had my fair share of negative reactions too but I met my current boyfriend 8 or so months ago and when I told him he said he liked me so much he couldn't care less!! It will happen!! Just make sure you have the facts to hand for telling people. Www.herpes.org.uk is great for helping you tell people. Please don't be down on yourself!!