Anxiety and baby

[Skyblue7]

My baby is nearly 9mo this but recently past month I’ve become really scared and thinking I’m going to die and my baby. I had post party pschosis apparently which lasted 1 time. Why it was debated. However now I’ve always had anxiety but now I can’t watch tv with anyone in a hospital bed and I think I’m dying and can’t see past Xmas let alone getting to Xmas. I don’t know what to do it’s taking over my life.

[Lou9]

Sending a hug to you Skyblue7 . I have battled with intrusive thoughts and health anxiety since my daughter was born 3.5 years ago. It worsened after a miscarriage last year and I ended up crippled by it and off work for a while. I can relate completely to how you feel. I still battle it on a daily basis and continue to have CBT to help. One thing I have found helpful is to try and bring myself back to the present moment. For example, I used to always look at my daughter’s hair and think “please let me be here to see it grow longer”, followed by intrusive thoughts about me not being here. Now I try to focus on her hair at this precise moment in time, how long it is, what it looks like, etc. I know this sounds crazy but it was just something that triggered me for some reason.

One thing I regret was not speaking up about how I felt earlier. I knew I had health anxiety since the day after she was born but I kept it quiet. Then it festered and got worse and worse. I wish I had spoken to someone about it and got the help I needed sooner. I hope you have support around you, finding someone you trust who you can say your biggest most honest fears to really helps and takes the power away from the thoughts. Take care. 💕

[Skyblue7 in reply to Lou9]

Hi I went thru the doctors couple of months ago and the medical team were crap in helping me and left me to it basically I was glad to get rid. But my anxiety is bad I try to just take it day by day now but I keep feeling like I ain’t going to see Xmas and hope I get to it. I feel like I’m going to be diagnosed with something g that will kill me and I won’t be around for my baby. I dont have thought of harming myself nor baby but feel like something will happen to her. I do t really chat to no one as feel they will judge me my partner do t really understand and just tries to keep helping but it don’t go away…

[Tugsgirl in reply to Lou9]

I’ve recently been diagnosed as having postnatal anxiety, on the ocd spectrum and with post traumatic stress, to a lesser degree. Like you I suffered intrusive thoughts - that something would happen to my little girl. It’s like after everything we went through she was just too good to be true and that something or someone would take her away from me. That we’d lose her. Like it’s all a dream and I’ll wake up and I will have imagined having been a Mummy to this beautiful little girl that I love more than life itself. It makes me cry just thinking about it. Anyway it all came to a head a few months ago when I’d convinced myself she had leukaemia and I was so upset the Doctor saw me within an hour. It all came tumbling out. She arranged for a low dose anti anxiety medication and a "Healthy Minds" appointment. I scored higher than average with the healthy minds assessment and I’ve now been referred for CBT. Having struggled to conceive for 4 years and losing 3 previous babies and doing 6 rounds of ivf I’m not surprised by my diagnosis but I buried my head in the sand for too long thinking that over time the feelings would go away, but they didn’t. I wish I’d spoken to someone sooner xx

Skyblue7 you can do a referral to "Healthy Minds" online yourself. You don’t need a Doctor to do that for you. Good luck xx