Donor egg baby question - please help - Baby and Us

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Donor egg baby question - please help

Rainbowhope profile image

I am having a donor egg baby and every night I lay awake wondering if they baby can possibly love me if I'm not their biological mother. I dont know why suddenly this has been the cause of huge panic and worry for me. My anxiety throughout my pregnancy is out of control. I haven't slept properly since week 16. It's making me really worried. Can I please ask anyone who has had a donor egg baby how they felt when the baby was born and if they felt the baby didn't love them and how they coped? Have you decided to tell the baby? If so when? I have requested mental health support from my GP and midwives and tbh they have been rubbish so far but I am waiting for an answer this week about what they can do for me. I know I need some counselling.

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I can't help re: donor eggs, but I can tell you without a doubt that you will be the whole world to this baby. As a newborn, just being held close to you will often be enough to calm him and later, just the sight of you will make his eyes light up and produce a huge gummy smile.

We were talking about donor eggs on the fertility site a couple of days ago and how the embryo is basically the blue print for the baby and almost everything that goes into actually constructing the baby comes from you. You are not just an incubator, you share a blood supply, the baby takes minerals and fat and protein from your body to grow.

He is very much a part of you and you are very much his mother.

And that's just the physical side. We all know there's much more to being a parent than carrying or birthing the baby. You're going to love and care for him, teach and pass on your values, be an example and a role model....

I hope this point of view helps a little. There are obviously lots of issues around donor eggs and you're going to have to decide how to approach it but for now, breathe and be happy with this wonderful gift xxx

I’ve had a baby recently using an egg donor . When he was born there was no doubt that he loves me and I love him very much. He’s always looking at me and wanting cuddles with me . He’s 11 weeks and we’ve got the mummy and son bond . I wouldn’t worry about it . I’ve will tell him about the donation when he’s grown up and can understand x

Congratulations Haileyp85. Sounds like you and your baby have a beautiful and secure bond. Can I ask if you had treatment in UK or abroad?

I had my treatment in the UK I didn’t personally fancy doing it abroad.

I don’t have any personal experience of donor egg but going by the women who had donor egg pregnancies (I made friends with a few off the fertility network forum) I’d say you have nothing to worry about. They are loved by their babies and their hearts and their hands are full! xx

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